Tiong Bahru Times

Twenty-seventh month, secret dining

2011-04-15T13:10:00.001+01:00

This month, we have mostly been...

- Bored in Batam. Under duress, I journeyed to Batam on the 40 minute ferry ride from Harbourfront for the annual staff away day. Next time, I think I shall feign illness. Batam is dusty, unkempt and devoid of character. Harris Resort is a giant germ-infested sand pit filled with snivelling children and horrid orange decor. I thanked my lucky stars I only had to stay one night. Unfortunately, I returned to Singapore with a legacy lurgy that I picked up somewhere between the meeting room, the canteen and my bedroom. Rancid.

- Attempting to dance. Paul Kalkbrenner graced Singapore with his presence on a multi-stop world tour to promote the celebrated youth culture flick, Berlin Calling:

Sadly, the Management at Singapore's best club, Zouk, heinously mis-judged the pulling power of a popular film and showcased Paul Kalkbrenner in Velvet Underground. The tiny dancefloor was packed to the rafters. Drinks were spilled everywhere by people trying to return from the bar to their friends. I even lost my bracelet as my trailing arm became sandwiched between three masses thronging in different directions. It was utter clubbing hell. Never to be repeated.

- Shucking our own oysters. Why pay for a whole hotel buffet when you have a craving for freshly shucked oysters? Coming to a home near you... maybe. All you need to do is order your oyster knife online at eBay and wait two weeks for it to arrive. Then, take a long ride with Uncle to Greenwood Avenue, land of rich people in Singapore (you can check out their enormous houses whilst you wait for a taxi back to normal town). Visit the fish market and hand-pick your own. Return home. Try not to stab your hand and end up at Singapore General Hospital before you can say "shallot vinegar". Maybe, next time we'll just go to Culina.

- Dining 'illegally'. It should be of no surprise that Singapore is the latest place to see the sudden appearance of secret supper clubs on the gastronomic scene. For those 'in the know', these intimate dining affairs offer the chance to get to know some friends you hadn't met yet and chow down on some delicious home-cooked (but often restaurant standard) nosh. Seek and ye shall find.

Twenty-sixth month, culture club

2011-03-15T11:03:00.005Z

Marina Bay Sands - view from the launch of the Singapore Biennale

This month, we have mostly been enjoying the Singapore Biennale...

Although the last show was in 2008, the Singapore Biennale took place this year in 2011. Having heard good reports from the previous shows, we were expecting to see some eye-catching and inspiring installations. The opening kicked off with Tatzu Nishi's enthralling pop-up hotel. Some said that encasing the Merlion's head in a box adorned on the inside with dark gold wallpaper and a blood red carpet was lacking in imagination but then again, offering people the chance to wake up under a giant mouth that would usually be spouting a ton of water was rather playful. It made me smile.

Despite having to use Google Maps to direct turn by turn our taxi driver Uncle to Old Kallang Airport, we were pleased to arrive and be dropped right at the door as it started to spit with rain. Whilst there were far too many video art exhibitions which could not tempt us to linger given the suffocating heat, here are a selection of favourites:

Rafael Lozano-Hemmer, Mexico - 'Frequency and Volume'

Michael Lee, Singapore - 'Office Orchitect'

Fumio Nanjo, Director of Tokyo's Mori Art Museum was previously Artistic Director of the Singapore Biennale. This time, Matthew Ngui (who was previously a curator) was named as the front man. Sadly, I can't say I was particularly bowled over by the show. With the 'catch all' title, 'Open House', it lacked cohesion, featured too much video art and was missing 'wow' factor. If I was to mark it like a school report, I would say, 'Could do better'.

Asian Adventure 21 :: 22-27 Feb '11 :: Yangon and Bagan

2011-02-28T12:43:00.012Z

"Grand" Hotel

"Manchester, Portsmouth, Liverpool, Arsenal", said the taxi driver after he had learned my native country. An impressive knowledge of the English premier league teams and strong brand awareness of the BBC seems to sit with many Myanmar citizens.

Near City Hall

Beautiful Shwedagon Pagoda

Dusty roads, uneven pavements with man-sized gaping holes and road barriers covered in barbed wire characterise Myanmar's highways. Colonial buildings stand decaying, their façades covered with black soot and mould. Night falls; limited street lighting makes the pavements even more precarious to the untrained eye. Over-loaded buses, battered and falling to pieces clatter past at speed, weaving in and out of rows of saloon cars from the 1980s. A knee-high child lingers by the side of a busy road, examining something freshly plucked from the floor. No obvious parent is in sight.

Downtown, the streets team with foodstalls and betel nut sellers. Here, you can experience the true smell of Asia - a heady mixture of exhaust fumes, street barbecues, decaying tropical vegetation and the occasional whiff of sewerage.

Street food

Snake head, anyone?

Betel nut stall

Every other block, you'll find a set of home telephones laid out on a table or a make-shift booth. It costs over US$1000 to buy a SIM card in Myanmar. People either rent mobile phones or stand in the street on a home phone hooked up to the local network, which is sketchy at the best of times.

Home phone a friend

The local currency notes are limp and blemished, as if they have been through the washing machine and left out to dry in a muddy puddle. Perversely, US dollars won't be accepted as tender unless they are clean and crisp, as if fresh off the press.

Traditional dress is prevalent and thanaka (a yellowish-white cosmetic paste made from ground tree bark) coats the cheeks of many women and children. Whilst heavily controlled - many have had their passports confiscated - people are warm, welcoming and calm. Strange for a country ruled by a military so distant - how many people know that the capital was moved from Yangon in 2005 three hundred kilometres north to Nay Pyi Taw?

Cleaning time at Shwedagon Pagoda

Sunset prayers at Shwedagon Pagoda

Taxis rides are a beltless swerving adventure in a car that doesn't even have a tape deck, only a short wave radio. Forget about the cooling fan, the windows are permanently down. Those with an aversion to hairdryers should not apply. Our last taxi driver of the holiday was high on betel nut, at every traffic light throwing his head back and cackling as he saw the whites of our eyes in his rear view mirror. It was one of those moments when you had to laugh. Nervously.

Travelling up north on Air Bagan is a reprieve from the bustling streets of Yangon. Welcome to the land of horse and cart. A bandana face mask comes in useful for the dust kicked up by your trusty steed and a torch can save you from descending pitch black interior temple staircases. Children pester you for 'bon-bons' (clearly, the French hand out the most sweets) and no major temple is without rows of 'same same but different' souvenirs. That said, the views are simply stunning.

Bagan Skyline

View of the largest temple in Bagan

Rare Double Buddha

In all, Myanmar is a mystery. The expectation that the military would be highly visible and that you might just get locked up for whispering "Aung San Suu Kyi" did not materialise. Yangon is rough, ready and fast decaying. Bagan is peaceful, nostalgic and so far only gently kissed by the plump lips of tourism. What will happen in the next twenty years is uncertain. As political corruption allows infrastructure to crumble and sag, will the Myanmar of today eventually wither and die? Will the rulers simply keep moving to new outposts where they can build shiny new palatial homes leaving behind one urban mess after another?

Check it out:
Kandawgyi Palace Hotel, Yangon
Monsoon (85-87 Thien Byu Road, Yangon)
Bogyoke Aung San Market (Scott Market), Yangon

Twenty-fifth month, blink and you'll miss it

2011-02-15T03:43:00.008Z

This month, we have mostly been...

- Entertaining at home. Make your own flour tortillas. There's a challenge. Not really, when you have a bored husband turned wannabe baker at home. Hey presto, Mexican Party! Arriba!

- Enjoying. Is having two 'New Year' celebrations greedy?

- Travelling to Tokyo for the Digital Creative Conference. I was very lucky to be invited as a guest to the conference, where I formed a great bond with the legendary Bill Thompson:

Bill enjoying his goblet of wine at Bar Piano in Drunkard's Alley.

I was also very lucky to be able to meet up with my dear friends, Rie, Yusuke and Adam. As usual, Rie took me to the most delectable places to eat both super fresh seafood and 'heroin-grade' beef (highly addictive). Here are the business cards. Like the menus: No English. Perfect.

Asian Adventure 20 :: 3-6 Feb '11 :: Hanoi

2011-02-07T13:21:00.010Z

Hanoi Rocks. The words, stuck onto a school bag, have stayed with me for the past fifteen years. My trip felt long overdue. Shame then, that we chose to go to Hanoi when our dates coincided with the Tết holiday. So smug had we felt when booking our cheap flights four months previously. So annoyed we felt when we arrived in 'post-apocalyptic Hanoi'.

Renowned for its busy and bustling streets filled with motorbikes and food stalls spilling across each pavement, Hanoi was a ghost town. After leaving our bags at our simple but effective hotel, we wandered the Old Town streets, dodging the odd wire hanging from the mess of cables overhead and marvelling at the anorexic buildings constructed to house several generations under one roof. After an unsuccessful attempt at finding nourishment at one of the few street food stalls (it tasted like crushed beetles wrapped in caterpillar skin), our grumbling bellies were soothed in the ubiquitous noodle chain, pho24.

Skinny living

That evening, we had a rather disappointing meal at Restaurant Bobby Chinn. For a restaurant that prides itself on its 'fusion' menu, this felt more like, 'blended cuisine'. Neither Asian nor Western; neither good nor awful. It was all just somewhere in between - nothing to excite the palate nor particularly to induce vomit. Distinctly average.

Thankfully, we were destined for a relaxing trip around Hạ Long Bay for the remainder of our long weekend, so the next morning we zoomed at breakneck speed to the coast care of the Paloma Cruise minibus. Only one stop was made for the rest and refueling of our driver - at a roadside cafe attached to a huge store selling an odd collection of marble statues and other random trinkets. Shockingly, photographs of people purchasing statues with their full names and email addresses adorned the outside walls. Weird 101.

No word of a lie

Arriving in the Bay, we were greeted on board by a loud blasting of 'Happy New Year' by Abba and a welcome speech given by our dear leader, who had an intriguing approach to the English language. Mostly, "We are so happy" interspersed with details of the cruise itinerary and the history of the poorly timed Tết holiday. We consoled ourselves with a Hanoi 'bia' on top deck with a slight chilly wind on our faces.

View from top deck

Just before dinner was served, we took part in a cooking (read: rolling) class where we assembled spring rolls and watched the chef dunk them in oil. Surprisingly, even the ones made by the stubby fingers of Chinese children onboard with their multi-member families were edible. Note to self: Add spring rolls to foolproof recipe list.

And then came a string of further disappointing meals (was the usual chef on his bloody Tết holiday too?) which were more Thai than Vietnamese, and more oil than substance. We retired early to bed after a short-lived attempt at squid fishing. Believe.

The next morning, we awoke to find ourselves in Vietnam's boat parking lot. Time to ride: off we pootled on our speedboat to clamber into a rowing boat steered by a pitiful lady struggling under the weight of four Western fatties. Trying not to be too distracted by her huffing and puffing, we enjoyed peering into the lives of those who live in the Floating Village. Next up was Sung Sot Cave (a.k.a. 'Amazing Cave'). Let's put it this way: apart from the penis rock, don't be fooled by the nickname. If piped music at a heritage site is your thing, however, please feel free to arrange for an extended visit.

I hope your biceps are strong...

Highlight of the trip to 'Amazing Cave' is 'Penis Rock'.

We exited the Bay in much the same fashion as we had arrived, only this time, our fellow minibus passengers had to ask the driver to conduct the vehicle a little less maniacally. Very amusing. We were rather enjoying the skill with which he demonstrated the signature Vietnamese haphazard weave. Back in Hanoi, we had enough luck to taste some of the dishes we had been craving by simply going to the Elegance Diamond Hotel's restaurant. Finally, cha ca la vong and bun cha were no more strangers and we slurped and munched with delight.

The height of fashion in downtown Hanoi

Overall, we felt like we had been in Hạ Long Bay about ten years too late - long after tourism's grubby fingers had touched everything. And we were just unlucky to coincide with the Tết holiday in Hanoi. Our love for Vietnam is far from over - we are only just beginning.

Twenty-fourth month, time flies

2011-01-15T11:47:00.001Z

Happiness is cheap in Singapore

Fun fun fun in the sun sun sun = time flying like there's no tomorrow. After two years on this tiny isle, has the UK become a distant memory of a life less ordinary? Has Singapore reached the coveted spot as the place I call 'home'?

If it's possible, this second year has zipped by even more rapidly than the first in a whizz of weddings and weekends away. We managed to escape to Asia no less than six times (albeit half the number of holidays we had in the first year) and back to the UK twice.

So, how has life changed in this second year? Here's a quick round-up:

- Cementing friendships. Much like university days, by the time you get into your second year, you pretty much know who your core group of buddies is and you spend the rest of the year building on those solid foundations. You sort the wheat from the chaff, know who you want to spend holidays with (and those who you definitely don't), know whose calls to return and whose to reject. It may sound tough but there literally aren't enough hours in one's life to waste on people who you just don't like that much. There are seldom enough for those who you'd like to see more of in any event. The key difference between expat life and university life is that you win and lose people along the way. As if someone just dropped out of university, people disappear from Singapore life to pastures new. For many, their photos on Facebook change from tropical beaches to wintery scenes. No more booze cruises, only nights out down the pub. It's always sad to see them go, but the transient nature of Singapore and its non-stop party scene means that you can refill the hole in your friend circle with ease at any time.

- Moving house. As most lettings are two years here, the time on our first home came swiftly to an end. After deliberating over the dire straits of the UK economy and the grim weather back home, we decided that we had not had enough of Asia yet so signed on for another two years in a new flat. Cue spending a month's salary on kitting out an unfurnished place because we wanted the place to feel more like we own it. Ouch.

- Settling in. After extensive research via word-of-mouth recommendations and the interweb, we know where to buy wedding rings (DeRocks: 10 Anson Rd #19-11 Singapore 079903. Contact: 62226818), get jewellery fixed, buy Thai groceries, find an organic farm, plan a fancy dress costume and invest in contemporary Asian art. We have truly mastered the art of avoiding Orchard Road and enjoy sourcing things from esoteric shops in the forgotten malls of Singapore. SHOP. EAT. PARTY. Rinse and repeat.

Stay tuned for more banal observations on life, Asian adventures, and top tips for your successful survival in the badlands of Sin City.

Asian Adventure 19 :: 31 Dec '10 -4 Jan '11 :: Bali

2011-01-05T02:43:00.005Z

For New Year this year, we decided to go it alone and enter the territory of Eat, Pray, Love. Ubud welcomed us with a deluge - we even had to roll up our trousers just to reach our room. Why oh why did we opt to stay amongst the rice paddies?

8 pm until ALL PASS OUT

As is often customary in centres of tourist exploitation, we were charged a hefty US$75 each for the New Year Dinner & Dance. Not a drop of alcohol was served. The food came at a rate of knots and given the fact that we're just not that in to Balinese 'dance' music, we had retired to our four poster bed to watch films by 10.30 pm. Nice.

Ubud is full to bursting with handicraft shops. Should you be searching for a mosaic plate, wood carving, wind chime or garden furniture, you need look no further. And if your aural senses are heightened by the smooth groove of Ethnic Lounge, then you should seriously consider moving there.

A trip out to Tegallalang (organise it through your hotel) is a must for the quintessential photos of the tiered rice terraces and as long as you are up to date with your rabies injections, you should not fear a stroll through the Monkey Forest.

Just avoid the idiotic people who insist on 'hand-feeding' the monkeys (unless you consider having a monkey jump on your back and bite your face and shoulder in a frenzied attack on the hand-held banana a fun experience).

Cafe Lotus and Indus were other treats along the way before splashing out on a supreme tasting menu at Mozaic. It was a delectable journey, each dish captured by the three diners on the table next to us on their mobile phones. There's nothing like a bunch of food bloggers taking photos from all angles of their own and their companions' dishes to distract from the peaceful enjoyment usually associated with fine dining.

Our driver told us that the last five years had seen a marked increase in traffic in Ubud. Given the sheer number of EPL's (a.k.a. single, white females re-discovering 'life') clinging to local motorcyclists and the more daring ones going it alone, I can only predict that Ubud's roads will become more and more gridlocked. I dare say the number of 'mixed race' babies being born in Bali will no doubt see a spike too.

Ubud is certainly a peaceful alternative to the busy beaches of Seminyak. Of the few large hotels, many are hidden from view down sheltered approaches so a lot of the area still has a village feel. A village selling all manner of homewares imaginable, nonetheless. Shop, Sleep, Sloth.

Top five tips for alternative gift shopping

2010-12-21T09:43:00.006Z

Not that I never feel the need to head to Orchard Road to flex my credit card, but I do try to avoid the area at the most crowded times - mid-morning to late afternoon on the weekends. I also like to support the burgeoning scene of quality independent retailers offering a little break from the norm:

Around the house:

- Strangelets - Wooden monkeys and handmade soaps to unique ceramics and illustrated notepads.

- egg3 - Funky handbags and handmade toys to painted glassware and frilly tops.

Books:

- Books Actually - Intriguing titles, handmade journals and vintage Singapore memorabilia. For heaven's sake, don't just mill around on the ground floor.

- Littered with Books - Inspiring titles, staff picks and a free cuppa. What's not to like? Be warned: Many hours may pass between entering and exiting.

Vintage:

- Granny's Day Out - A plethora of dresses, shoes, bags and jewellery from times gone by are lovingly collected and displayed for your purchasing pleasure.

- nana and bird - Scarves, belts and treasure chests. You'll be hard pressed not to find a single item that will serve as a beautifully unique gift.

Masterchef:

- ToTT (Tools of The Trade) - The place wet kitchen dreams are made, especially those featuring Jamie Oliver.

- 25 degree Celsius - Singapore's first (and therefore, best) cookbook shop. They also run recipe sessions selected from the books available in store.

Fashion:

- Boutiques at Fort Canning - This event happens every couple of months or so and features a wide range of items from some excellent designers (mainly expat wives) who have yet to open a physical store.

- Not In The Malls - An online portal gathering some of Singapore's finest 'finds' from the independent designer scene.

- Asylum - For global trend spotters and setters: if your wallet's feeling heavy, I'm sure you can unload some excess weight here in exchange for a whole lotta 'cool'.

Bonus Tip - Mixed bag:

- Hairloom & Caramel - Where else can you get a hair cut, eat a quiche lorraine and leave with a retro notepad? Simply awesome.

Top five tips for moving house

2010-12-17T15:33:00.008Z

1. Location location location. Much like being in the hawker centre and deciding between rice or noodles, you'll at least have to make the following simple choices to narrow down your search:

- Central or 'Pretty much Malaysia'. MRT stations Newton and Marina Bay on the North-South line and Tiong Bahru and Bugis on the East-West line are the limits of what I would call Central. Outside of that, I would consider Holland Village and Portsdown Road because both areas contain pockets of properties that are full of character. I am sure you can perceive my bias for living centrally given the label for all other areas outside of those above-mentioned as 'Pretty much Malaysia'. Unless you are minted enough to own a car, or you actually enjoy long taxi rides with Uncle, I would steer clear.

- East or West. North is a non-starter unless your job is based in the Heartlands and you relish the idea of being surrounded by nothing other than a sea of residential dwellings. East wins on proximity to 'beaches' (not that you would want to swim in the rancid oil-infested waters) and the airport but unless you live in Geylang, you will be far from the MRT and you will live your life between bus stops. West has far better transport links and a greater variety of things to do: Botanic Gardens, Bukit Timah, Jurong Bird Park, The Southern Ridges to name a few.

2. To condo or not to condo?. Basically, are you willing to live without a pool so that you can live in a place with a unique character? Alternatives are:

- Registering for a black and white. Assuming you have a spare S$10,000 deposit to be in with a chance to bid and have a salary the triple of which will get you close to the sometimes astronomical rents, get involved! If you are lucky, you may find a steal and your rent will be next to nothing but, as you can imagine, those places don't come up very often so you will often spend time online ogling the houses that only CEOs can afford; S$45,000 per month? You have got to be kidding me. If you're not, can I be your friend?

- Old HDBs. Dotted around in Chinatown, Tiong Bahru and a small handful of other places are properties that have had their soul ripped out and replaced with contemporary living spaces. Your neighbour may be one hundred years old, sitting on a stool with a fan in his hand whilst you may have a weather-sensitive sliding roof and more remote controls for aircons than you know what to do with but therein lies the charm of 'real' Singapore.

- Shophouses. Around Outram Park and in Little India are some fabulously preserved shophouses complete with wooden floors and ornate carvings. Real gems, if you can find them.

3. Agents. Like'em or loathe'em the world over. It is no different here. You get some who will show you places exactly in line with your specifications (initially, it look us just four days to find a place) or others who are clueless, ignore your requests and then dog you with endless streams of text messages offering you places that are so far removed from what you want, they may as well be located on the Moon. I personally recommend Alvin Yeo who will take really good care of you in Tiong Bahru; outside of that, it's worth asking around at work or amongst your friends for someone they have used.

4. Get the movers in. If you are seriously busy (read: lazy) you can hire movers to pack everything and neatly deliver to your new place. They will even pack your underwear, if you let them. We chose a combination of us packing everything bar the large items of furniture and them delivering. It's fun to see your sofa wrapped in bubble wrap and cling film for careful transportation. That's one idea movers in the UK could learn from Singapore! Shalom Movers say they are No. 1 and we wholeheartedly agree.

5. Get yourself to the auction. Expat Auctions are held once a month and are havens for severely cut-price Oriental furniture. We recently walked away with five pieces of furniture for just S$1000. Although the process can be quite long (it takes approximately one minute per listed item to auction so be prepared to wait if you like items 23 and 188), it is fun and exhilarating bidding for your desired items. If that's not your cup o' cha, head to FairPrice Antique for similar Oriental style items at fixed (and fairly high, but not outlandish) prices. Of course, there's always Craigslist too for buyer-seller transactions involving a mix of characterful items and bog standard IKEA stuff. If you need pick-up and delivery for the odd item here and there, Mr Pang on +65 9223 6234 is an absolute legend.

Best of luck in your quest for a new home!

Twenty-third month, shivering

2010-12-15T12:20:00.001Z

This month, we have mostly been...

For a country where it usually hovers around 30-31°C, this is positively chilly!

- Feeling a little chilly. This year, the rainy season has been on its true form and we have had many more prolonged thunderstorms. Whilst we had been stifling our laughter at our local friends who have been complaining of the 'cold weather', we were shocked to see the temperature gauge read a measly 24 degrees Celsius the other day! Lowest on record since we have been here. That evening coincided with our friend giving us a lift back to base in a borrowed BMW convertible. It was the first time I had felt goosebumps outside in Singapore and it wasn't just down to him 'testing' the accelerator.

- Looking for and finding a new home! Check out my top tips on preparing for moving day. Fear not, we are still in our beloved Tiong Bahru, having moved approximately two hundred paces down the road to be in a slightly larger unit. We are now even closer to the market and live directly above Yes Natural, one of the jewels in the crown of the independent stores in the estate.

- Loving the view but hating the food. We decided to take our visiting friend to enjoy the views from the highest restaurant in Singapore (282m). Sadly, Stellar did not live up to its name. Over-zealous air-conditioning, underwhelming food. We were served by five different staff - one to take our order, one for drinks, two for food and another one for the bill. What a shame the bill was wrong - we had to track down the duck egg who took our order to prove that we had ordered the Aberdeen Angus and not the Wagyu. We were informed that we had actually been served the Wagyu (not that you could tell) but they were kind enough (and rightly so) to reduce the price accordingly. Sadly, that wasn't enough to ever entice us back as the word 'sorry' was not heard even once during this whole stellar ordeal.

- Avoiding the crowds. Check out my top tips on alternative gift shopping.

Next up, we shall be keeping our fingers crossed that although we do not have a chimney or any snow, Santa will still remember to fly over Singapore to deposit some gifts under our tree.

Twenty-second month, life goes on...

2010-11-15T12:19:00.006Z

This month, we have mostly been...

- Kicking back in Kanchanaburi, Thailand.

- Marvelling at the Singapore advertising standards. Check out the current prizes on offer:

UOB - Win A Trip To Anywhere*.

'What? Even to the Moon?!'

DBS - Win a condominium.

A whole condominium? Wow, that's like having 150 bedrooms. Cool!

Naturally, I immediately checked the Terms and Conditions and was sad to note that the 'Trip To Anywhere' would have to be purchased with the real prize of S$6000 of UOB Travel Vouchers (I do not believe they are currently dealing in Moon tourism) and the definition of 'condominium' is actually a 980 square feet, 2-bedroom unit (#03-13) at Oasis@Elias, which is expected to receive its Temporary Occupation Period ('T.O.P.') in December 2012. Misleading advertising at its best.

- Enjoying a short trip back to the UK. I was lucky enough to join my new role at the British Council at the time of the Encounters Short Film Festival in Bristol, UK. I spent many hours in darkened rooms watching some amazing and some terrible short films from around the world. Particular highlights were: HALF TERM, directed by Sam Donovan; A FAMILY PORTRAIT, directed by Joseph Pierce; WHEN A HEN EATS A BEE, directed by Tim Frost; and THE ONGOING LIFE OF PETER PEEL: CAN, CAN, CAN’T, directed by Felix Massie.

WHEN A HEN EATS A BEE, directed by Tim Frost.

THE ONGOING LIFE OF PETER PEEL: CAN, CAN, CAN’T, directed by Felix Massie.

Next up is the run up to another hot and sweaty Christmas in the tropics. Looking forward to hearing hits such as 'I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas' blasting through the airwaves in all the shopping malls. Brilliant.

Asian Adventure 18 :: 4-7 Nov '10 :: Kanchanaburi

2010-11-08T12:31:00.002Z

The order of the day was a weekend of chilling with a little splash of culture. Kanchanburi, just two-and-a-half hours from Bangkok fitted the bill. We skipped over to Bangkok to stay at the Siamese Views Lodge for the night ('boutique' = 'basic', rather than 'trendy' in this instance) and enjoyed an evening stroll down the Khao San Road - land of henna tattoos, deep fried beetles, fake ID cards and I ♥ Boyfriend t-shirts.

The next morning, we were picked up early by our driver arranged through Xanadu 2008, where we were to stay for the following three days. Run by Dennis from the UK and his Thai wife, Nee, it was a homely place perfect for peaceful contemplation outside of the backpacker vibe in central Kanchanaburi.

Famous for being the home of The Bridge over the River Kwai (formerly the Mae Klong River before it was re-named), the majority of Kanchanaburi's delights lie away from the main tourist drag.

All are welcome

Sadly, the centre is over-populated with seedy bars offering Western food by day and sex tourism by night. Many also stop off to get their dreadlocks repaired or grab another henna tattoo before their onward trip to discover 'The Beach'. A little bit of culture before staying up for 48 hours dancing to psy-trance never hurt anybody, right?

We hired a motorbike (despite being licence-free) and journeyed off to the Erawan Waterfalls. A straight road takes you right to the doorstep of seven levels of refreshing azure plunge pools. Our young legs took us up to level five where our feet were tickled by the gentle caresses and occasional nips from the resident fish.

The only spoilers were the two over-sized Russians who 'spoke' only in sign language and who rudely motioned for me to move from where I was sitting so that they could take photos of each other posing in their skintight Speedos.

Before scooting back to base, we detoured to the Phra That Caves - a monstrous cavern hidden at the top of approximately one million steps (okay, the equivalent of doing twenty-five minutes on a poorly calibrated step machine). As we were the only visitors at the time (and it was the last week of low season), the usual cave lighting was off meaning that we had a one on one guide lit by a kerosene lamp. The experience allowed me to re-live my childhood fear of the dark and it was all topped off when the lamp was shone on a white snake coiled around the fence about 30cm from my left foot. That's when I momentarily lost my sense of humour and was glad to squeeze back through the gap in the rocks known as the exit.

We are never disappointed with Thailand. Great food, beautifully kind people and a huge variety of breathtaking and thought-provoking attractions. There's something for everyone - even dirty old men looking for a cheap date. Kanchanaburi, for us, was a superb place for some R&R whilst having enough to see and do that kept our brains from turning to mush.

Twenty-first month, whirlwind

2010-10-15T10:15:00.004+01:00

This month, we have mostly been:

- Recovering from our immense honeymoon in Japan. Started my new job on 28 September and am loving life as a Cultural Diplomat - Director of Creativity at The British Council. It's definitely one of those jobs they don't tell you about in school.

- Entertaining family and friends. My parents, sister and family, cousin and our good friend, Hannah, descended on Singapore in quick succession which precipitated an extension of the over-eating and excessive drinking sessions that we enjoyed on our honeymoon. Putting the diet off until 2011, methinks. Particular highlights were a sumptuous Peranakan meal at Candlenut Kitchen (their ayam buah keluak is a die die must try) and Noble House for exquisite dim sum.

- Meeting Great Aunties and Uncles that I never knew existed. The setting for my cousin's Chinese wedding was the beautiful Four Seasons - just the right amount of gaudy chic. This being my second Chinese wedding, I was keen to compare notes with the previous wedding I had attended. As before, there was a seven tier plastic cake (although this one didn't even have a cutting slot!) and there was the ceremonious cascade of a bottle of champagne but none was served to the seated guests.

Yam Seng!

New notes on the list: (i) It is acceptable to turn up in jeans and a t-shirt (I pondered that this guest must usually wear a singlet and yellow wellies, so this was considered 'posh'); (ii) It is not frowned upon to be late. There is little time for idle chitter chatter. Get in, chown down, leave. Nice. Thankfully, my cousin added a little Western touch and extended the bar so we had time to drink more than we should and embarrass ourselves. Even better.

I shook hands with distant relatives and close ones, perfected my stick on smile and enjoyed the feeling of being paraded around by my mum as her special daughter who lives in Singapore. I can only imagine that many of them were wondering how much I earn and whether I take chilli but didn't have the English vocabulary to ask. My Grandad was his usual 'silent but deadly' character and had scrubbed up rather well for the occasion - a rare sighting.

- Cringeing at the new MRT jingle that makes you want to strangle the nearest auntie.

Ludicrous and funny.

- Marvelling at the biggest loser in Singapore. Can you imagine what it feels like to lose one hundred million Singapore dollars? N.B.F. = Sheldon G. Adelson. Fact. Another fact is that I won $62 at my recent visit to throw money in the Marina Bay Sands coffers. Apparently, I can be rather lucky on blackjack but suck at roulette. The Chinese band's covers of popular tunes such as Lady Gaga's Poker Face and the free flowing whisky oiled the evening along nicely.

Next up, is a trip to Kanchanaburi, Thailand and getting back into the swing of Singapore in the run up to the Christmas season... Cue a Very Sweaty Santa Claus.

Nineteenth month, summer daze

2010-08-15T09:28:00.006+01:00

This month, we have mostly been:

Culture Vultures - The Singapore Night Festival promised eclectic performers and paraphernalia in the night sky, lightshows and a host of other nocturnal attractions. Sadly, instead of arriving to see the National Museum's expansive historic building lit up, it was only lit by the reflections of the lights from the two music shows in the foreground - one Western, one Asian. Being in the middle of the two stages was a cacophony of plinks and plonks in all the wrong places.

Street Art Under CCTV - Uncle Harry is watching

The one item of interest was the graffiti wall, but even that had 'control' stamped all over it. We ended up parking ourselves at the courtyard bar and not seeing any other acts. Fail.

Popping up - If you stand at Tanjong Beach Club and look out to sea, there's a small peninsula that juts out into the water. We were lucky to be invited to our first pop-up brunch there: bring amazing food, fine wines, a collapsible table and a makeshift cover. Add water (yes, it rained a little) and friends. A wonderful afternoon in a secluded spot with some of our favourite people. Diamond.

Soldiering on - Set in one of the most ridiculously kitted out bachelor pads in Singapore (it even has a private rooftop pool), the kids at Nomu hosted another awesome event. The only thing lacking at Apocalypse Nomu was the smell of napalm; soldiers, nurses and a whole lot of guns squeezed onto the roof until the fun police showed up to tear the party down. Someday this war's gonna end...

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning"

Being a Foodographer - I attended a food photography course hosted by acclaimed local food blogger, Dr. Leslie Tay at Tetsu Restaurant. Naturally, I was the only ang moh in the room, which made me feel mildly self-conscious when the hokkien 'in-jokes' were rolled out. Nevertheless, it was a fun afternoon eyeballing other people's cameras, some of which had lenses larger than my head.

Digging Deep at Stereolounge - After just four gigs at other night spots around Singapore, DJs Julian Moore, Dan Paris and Dash graced the stage at Stereolounge and out-lasted the main dancefloor. Pulling in the crowd that loves solid electronic sounds, the lounge had a vibrant buzz despite it being the height of the summer and the time of many Europats' holidays 'en famille'.

Everybody wants to be a DJ...

Turning Peranakan - Hidden in the row of shophouses near Tanjong Pagar Market is the home of Peranakan food, Blue Ginger. Crispy kueh pie tie, succulent otak otak, meltingly soft beef rendang, fragrant ayam buah keluak and chillified sambal terong goreng all washed down with a few glasses of the house white. A sumptuous feast, easy on the wallet and perfect for an intimate meal catching up with old friends.

Getting high - The birthday extravaganza for my husband was spectacularly held at the home of the world's longest rooftop pool, the stunning Marina Bay Sands. We checked in for two nights and enjoyed 45th floor views of the Gardens by the Bay currently under construction and the port littered with container ships of all shapes and sizes. Service was impeccable and losing S$300 in twenty minutes at the casino was a uniquely sobering experience. We knew it was time to leave when the guy next to us pulled out two S$1000 notes to exchange for chips. High rollers we ain't.

Has to be seen to be believed.

Expanding our dumpling repertoire - The Cathay was the selected venue for a chow down and catch up with an old friend from university days. Slightly cheaper than our usual haunt, Si Chuan Dou Ha, but equally solid in the dumpling stakes, this is somewhere we would return. I even liked the chicken feet - just the right amount of gristle and soya sauce flavoured skin.

Next up, is our long-awaited HONEYMOON IN JAPAN! All will be quiet on the Eastern front for a little while but stayed tuned for news of how two ang mohs coped in the hot waters and techno fields of Japan. Sayonara for now!

Eighteenth month, PRTY CNTRL

2010-07-15T08:01:00.002+01:00

"Summer Time" in Singapore = Party Central... This month, we have mostly been slammin' it hard...

Party at The Plantation - Set in the midst of the Portsdown jungle is a very special place: hidden from the masses, nature all around... Man, our friend knows how to throw a good party. Catered by Fine Palate, the order of the day is "drink the bar... dry". We say, "CAN!"

Celebrating Father's Day - Out for dinner with my Grandad and all of my aunts and uncles... The spot we chose was in deepest darkest Serangoon Gardens. The queue was immense. We had even booked a table but had to stand outside to wait for those lucky people inside to finish wiping the corners of their mouths. A feast ensued ~ I think my family thought I looked like a refugee that hadn't eaten in a month. True gluttony at its finest hour. That's what happens when you're not picking up the tab.

The launch of Marina Bay Sands - Slick was the order of the day, once we had conquered the enormous line of dressed to the nines crowd. The champagne flowed, the canapés rocked and the gala dinner was impressive given that the thronging masses totalled three thousand. The Jersey Boys taught us how to "walk like a man" and Diana Ross showed us how to groove like a sixty-six year old should. Truly immense. We rounded off the evening by collaring the CEO who told us that the event had cost no less than USD10 million. After I had put my eyeballs back into their rightful sockets, I marvelled at the incredulous expense but in my suitably inebriated mind decided that it was a fair amount to spend given the total cost of the resort topped USD5 billion. That's the way we roll. I look forward to helping dear Sheldon maintain his three Boeing aircraft by chucking a few crisp notes on red 13.

Another birthday, another boat party - And why not? We live on an island surrounded by rancid, oil-infested waters. What better than to get on a boat and assume the position of "drink to forget"? This time, we opted for the ultimate in P*I*M*P luxury and spent thirteen hours on a trimaran with no less than six flatscreen TVs in the lower deck. A day in the life of a celebrity. For real. Do it, before you die.

Interim documentaries - When not abusing our livers, we like nothing better than to lock the door and watch Storyville documentaries. Recommended this month is Kim Jong Il's Comedy Club - a story about three Danish 'dudes' (for want of a better phrase - watch it, you'll agree) who travel to North Korea on the pretense that they are a small Danish theatre troupe on a cultural exchange. It's difficult to find something so touching yet hilarious, political yet sentimental in the world wide web of moving image.

Third time lucky, Rawa - Once, twice, three times a lady! It's just too alluring...

Next up is an attempt to detox with marginally less partying until hubby's amazing surprise birthday... It's going to be a big one... Stay tuned!

Asian Adventure 16 :: 9-11 Jul '10 :: Rawawawawawrrrr

2010-07-12T15:07:00.001+01:00

This time, we had vowed not to be up until 6 am BOTH nights. Our plan to stave off the deadly poison on Friday was hampered by arriving at Mersing only to discover that the tides were too low for the speedboat to take us to paradise. All fifteen of us ended up being transported to a local hotel room suite where the "this will end in tears" game of Ring of Fire ensued, interrupted only by a few bouts of Charades and the snores of those for whom the bed had been too enticing. Five and a half hours later, we finally arrived on Pulau Rawa for the intense carnage to continue on Saturday when another fifteen reprobates displaced from Singapore (aka friends) arrived. Cue vigourous amounts of chillaxation, chats about life, the universe and everything, lip-smackingly delicious grub and a whole lotta P*A*R*T*Y.

Top five tips for settling in to life in Singapore

2010-07-06T05:01:00.006+01:00

1. Accept that it's a paradoxical Shopper's Paradise. For a country that has over two million malls, one might say that Singaporeans must be obsessed with retail: both online and offline. Wrong. Here, it's all about the 'look look, see see' past time of window shopping and saving on the electricity bill by cooling off in the air-conditioned surroundings of a mall rather than putting your own unit on at home. Give it time - you will catch yourself doing this at some point.

There's no Amazon, there are few pickings on eBay's empty shelves (there's no chance to bargain, you see) and even if you can buy stuff over the phone (rare), you will no doubt find the conversation 'challenging' unless you speak good Singlish (remember: it's 'oreddy' not 'already').

Fear not, if the thronging crowds of Orchard Road scare you, a plethora of items to quench your materialistic thirst awaits you in the forgotten malls of Singapore (if you know which one you need). Added to those, forums such as Singapore Expats, Adpost and Gumtree are the place to find locals of all ages selling a huge variety of secondhand items. Note: You will have to arrange a pick up yourself in person and be prepared to negotiate on the price.

2. Get used to going 'marketing'.

No, I'm not talking about business development. Here, they distinguish food shopping from other types of purchasing adventures and call it 'marketing'. So, don your best t-shirt and shorts combo, slide into your flip-flops and head to your nearest 'wet market'. Often the best place for sourcing fresh fish and quality vegetables at prices that are kind on the wallet. Warning 1: The floors can get quite slippery. Warning 2: Chinatown market even sells turtles and frogs... for consumption.

The three main contenders in the supermarket space are (in order of cost): Fair Price (it does what it says on the tin, but if you're whipping up a Western feast, you may find it challenging to grab everything on your shopping list); Carrefour (excellent for wine and cheese); and Cold Storage (you can buy everything here but certain European items are shockingly expensive). Both Fair Price and Cold Storage offer online shopping, which are solid services except that the websites are not as user-friendly as they could be.

Finally, just deal with it: alcohol is unbelievably expensive, especially when compared to the rock-bottom duty free prices charged at Changi airport. Just make sure you journey further afield than Malaysia, lest you be stopped in your tracks at the checkout on your return to Sin City. It's embarrassing, you'll look a fool and don't bother trying to pretend you're from another flight - they might wrestle you to the ground and cart you off for terrorist questioning.

3. Take up eating as a past time. Famous for their love of all things edible, Singaporeans think, talk and dream about food. During lunchtimes with your colleagues, conversations on planned or past consumption are the norm. There are huge numbers of food bloggers who you will see with their cameras out getting the best angles before diving in, bib first. Some places, like Tippling Club, even expressly forbid cameras at the dinner table lest the constant flashing annoy fellow diners.

The Singapore food bible, Makansutra actually has an index listed by dish and contributors to recommendation site, Hungry Go Where often list out their experience course by course, mouthful by mouthful. Be warned: Hungry Go Where can be infuriatingly confusing with some diners giving a restaurant the highest accolades and others labelling it as the worst dining experience in the history of mankind. I recently found this out and was involved in an online battle of the tastebuds, between myself, Massive Dynamic and low ernest. Fun!

Quick tips for eating out at
(i) Hawker centres:

Carry tissues at all times to chope your seats.

Grade B is dirtier but it tastes better.

Learn to sweat while you eat (aforementioned tissues will help).

(ii) Low to mid-range restaurants:

Despite what it says on the menu, even if you order starters, all dishes will likely come at the same time.

Waiters often can't explain what is on the menu, so be patient.

If wine is on the menu, don't expect it to be anything to write home about unless you're spending more than S$70.

If you can't face leaving the house and are hungry as sin, look no further than Hungry Go Where's Delivery Service. With a huge variety of offerings, you will find something you desire. The only odd thing is that you proceed with a 'normal' online order but at the last moment, you have to call a number. Through some astonishing technical wizardry, the person at the call centre will know everything about you and you only need confirm your order, lessening the time you have to spend practicing your Singlish. Die die, must try.

Finally, be warned that Durian-flavoured anything is available. Try it if you dare.

Durianmisu anyone? Anyone?

4. Marvel at the transport options but laugh at the way they are used.

Singapore Taxi Drivers to Learn French.

Taxi: Enjoy bouncing around the back of old cabs, the smell of rotting pandan leaves (to ward away cockroaches) and odd conversations ("Dogs. Do you like dogs? I like dogs."). Whilst you may be shocked at some drivers' poor navigation skills ("I dunno, you teach me, ah?") a read of the famous Taxi Drivers' Blog (you can also now buy the book) will, no doubt, leave you feeling less angry and more compassion for those in this difficult line of work.

MRT: Despite this politeness campaign being played everyday on the MRT and large pictures of Phua Chu Kang everywhere, aunties are oblivious and will routinely barge their way to the front, when embarking and disembarking, of people waiting to board the MRT and then getting on before anyone else has had a chance to leave the train. Sadly, auntie assault is a punishable offence.

Bus: Good luck deciphering the bus network. You cannot just walk to a bus stop and figure out which bus you need to take you where you're going: the stops just list the buses stopping there and where they are going. So, unless you are naturally lucky in life, please consult gothere before you embark on a bus journey, lest you end up going from Tiong Bahru to Orchard Road via Ang Mo Kio.

Elevator: For some unknown reason, it appears to be a commonly held belief amongst Singaporeans that jabbing one's finger on the elevator button will make the deck appear faster. Being half-Singaporean, I must confess that I have found myself doing this, on the off-chance it really works. Try it for yourself and feel closer to this unique culture.

Walking: Walk at a snail's pace. That's all you need to do to walk like a local.

Driving: Pick a lane, any lane. Swerving and braking hard are all acceptable. Just don't dare to jump any red lights and for goodness sake, don't do an OJ Simpson if you are summoned by sirens.

5. Come to terms with island fever.

Apparently, the 'victim' is so traumatised that she cannot get out of bed...

Accept that you won't find much of interest in the Straits Times, and that some of your favourite websites may be blocked. Instead, charter a yacht, hire a private island, or escape to one of the many destinations you can get to for a weekend without taking any time off work (Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, and Indonesia) and enjoy the bliss of arriving back to Singapore through the world's best airport. Now that it houses the world's tallest slide (in an airport), there's all the more reason to just hang out at the airport even if you haven't got a plane to catch. For real: it's on my 'to do' list.

And it's not all about leaving the island: explore the organic farms, go condo crashing (and head straight for the pool), organise a picnic in the Botanic Gardens or a BBQ in Labrador Park.

All in all, you will hear the following phrase on repeat: "Life in Singapore is just so easy." It's true: the weather is almost permanently superb (save for the occasional monsoon rains), good food is ubiquitous, and there's hardly any crime. One the flip side, it lacks avant-garde creativity and has been likened to a warm bath.

I'm lucky because I get to see both sides, being part local and part ang mo. It was very baffling indeed for my colleagues when I first arrived. How could they categorise this person speaking with a plummy English accent about how much they love to eat century eggs who could then flick into finely tuned Singaporean patter on the subject of contract law, hor?

If you're even faintly interested in exploring Southeast Asia and having the cash to do so, come to live and work in Singapore to experience it for yourself. It's the closest you can get to taking a gap year and seeing the world without actually having to give up your job.

Further Reading: Complete Resident's Guide to Singapore; Angry Ang Mo.

Seventeenth month, chillaxation

2010-06-15T07:16:00.001+01:00

Basking in the glow of post-marriage smugdom, this month we have mostly been:

- Chillaxing at the 'old KM8', Tanjong Beach Club. Swank, sun-kissed scantily clad ladies, and a whole lotta champagne and cocktails are the order of the day. What used to be the weekend hangout for the Sunday smash heads in Singapore has been converted into a rather posh venue, complete with sparkly infinity pool and a brightly lit restaurant. Upmarket beach parties have come to stay.

- Making the cut at the Survival Chic launch party. Held at the elegant La Villa on River Valley Road, Virginia Brumby and Christophe Ferreira hosted the launch for their inside knowledge membership club, Survival Chic. Members enjoy two main benefits: (i) 30% off the entire bill on their first visit to each handpicked partner: upscale restaurants and bars, wine shops, yacht hire, spas, cooking and art classes; and (ii) Invitations and special treatment at carefully selected lifestyle events: art openings, wine tastings, special dinners, film festivals, and polo. Sign up now!

- Street-fighting. There's nothing like a good dressing up theme to get me in the mood for a party. My definition of 'good' is simply a theme that I can manage with household items. Note: Yes, those are shower puffs on my head.

- Attending a preview of John Clang's exhibition. Hailing from Singapore, but now displaced in New York, photographer John Clang's work is both personal and innovative. Super-imposing himself onto a Skype call screen, ripping up photos and putting them back together again and taking shots through circular holes are all in his repertoire. Thought-provoking and intriguing images - the exhibition is on until 3 July at new gallery, 2902.

Up next month is the long-awaited opening of Marina Bay Sands, another pimping boat party and more house parties before people start shooting off for their 'summer' holidays.

Top five forgotten malls of Singapore

2010-06-14T05:59:00.004+01:00

Whilst it may appear that you can barely walk two block in Singapore's central shopping district without stumbling across another building site earmarked for yet another monstrous mall, we should take care to remember that there is respite from the cookie cutter luxury retail outlets... The forgotten malls of Singapore, I salute you: most were built in the late 1970s and 1980s so have withstood 20-30 years of hardcore mish-mash retail and 'look look, see see' shoppers.

1. People's Park Complex: Vintage memorabilia, DIY electronics, goldsmiths, arguably the most popular bak kua store on the island, copy watches, and a small television showing disturbing footage of someone having a blepharoplasty* (*CAUTION: not for the faint-hearted). This mall's got it all. Snack stop: Head for the small stalls outside selling edible duck parts (there are more than you initially think, trust me). Turn right and search for the fried goods stall which sells by far the best hei-piah (prawn cake) in Singapore: light, yet glutinous dough, topped with a prawn and deep-fried to perfection. Wolf it down and give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back.

2. Peninsula Plaza: Guitars, fancy dress, vintage clothes, opticians, and specialist camera stores. This is a mecca for music lovers, photographers and those who like to dress a little differently. Snack stop: It has to be Sotong Ball OnStik from Old Chang Kee.

3. Golden Mile Complex: Were you wondering where all the Thai people hang out in Singapore? Look no further. More Thai shops, clubs, barbers, travel agents and eateries than you can shake a lemongrass stick at, the mall dubbed 'Little Thailand' has it all, including an enormous supermarket. Snack stop: Clear Tom Yam soup from Diandin Leluk Thai Restaurant. (Okay, not really a snack, per se, but if you want your spicy socks blown off, don't miss this gem.)

4. Bras Basah Complex: If it's obscure books and magazines, or you're about to get crafty, this is your hang out. Art Friend is the place you need to head if you're planning to paint yourself blue, make yourself something out of felt and all other obscure creative activities. The Complex is also home to my favourite jeweller that would never make it big in the UK: Fook Hing (see above). Snack stop: Grab a coffee amongst the bookshelves at Popular's cafe or go retro and order an ice cream float at Jack's Place. Time to watch the world go by and catch up on a little reading.

5. The Peace Centre: The entire ground floor of this place is dedicated to all things 'print'. If you need to waste half a rainforest printing out your memoirs, head here and compare the prices. Be warned though, the fancy dress shop which used to exist here has now morphed into a dodgy looking 'university' - one of those ones offering 'degrees' in Needlework & Stitching, with a major in English for Beginners. Snack stop: There is a Turkish kebab place next to the main exit, which always seems fairly popular. It even has the enticing 'elephant's leg'. Check your cholesterol levels before ordering.

Finally, a special mention for most short-sighted name for a mall - Singapore Shopping Centre. Did they really think that they would be the only one?

Happy shopping & snacking!

Top five zero-rated dining experiences in Singapore

2010-06-01T03:21:00.005+01:00

With the announcement that the first three-Michelin-starred restaurants from Europe to set foot in Singapore have now opened, here's a quick round-up of the top five starless gastronomic adventures before Mr. Michelin and his cronies come to town.

5. Tiong Bahru Boneless Chicken Rice (#02-82, Tiong Bahru Food Centre). I am wondering, after all the free promotion this establishment gets from my blog, whether they would print me a t-shirt. Mr. Michelin should try obtaining the chilli sauce recipe. I am sure the response would be similar to Charlton Heston at an NRA Rally: "From my cold dead hands."

4. Ju Shin Jung (West Coast). If you like grilled meats, seared to perfection at your table and accompanied by 101 small plates of crunchy Korean 'tapas', this is the place for you. The quality of the meat is divine, the staff are attentive and there's nothing quite like stinking out the taxi ride home with the smell of BBQ on your clothes. Post-meal shower essential.

3. Si Chuan Dou Ha (60th floor of UOB Plaza). The view of the Marina is hard to beat: the stunning Marina Bay Sands, the Fullerton Hotel and the Esplanade glint by day and by night. If fiery food is your forte, pluck a couple of the four chilli rated dishes to tantalise your taste buds. Beware though, you should opt for some of the more sedate dishes to balance out your meal lest you turn into a fire-breathing dragon at the table. Thankfully, the tea ninjas are always on hand to put out any manageable explosions. The mesmerising act of pouring water from an incredibly long spouted kettle into your tea cup will take your mind off the burn. Deliciously challenging.

2. Kuriya Penthouse (Orchard Central). If you are adventurous and you like the taste of Japan, you must try the omakase (tasting) menu here. After ascertaining any particular dislikes or allergies, the chef will take you on a journey through some of Japan's finest and most unique ingredients. The menu changes each week and is also designed for each guest. The staff are well-versed in exactly what you are eating, can recommend wines to accompany your meal and know when to interrupt your adventure to clear, serve and pour. You can opt to enjoy your dessert on the terrace overlooking the Istana Park and you will be pleasantly surpised at the spread the chef pâtissier has put on: wonderful flavoured mousses (have as many as you like) and your own selection of fresh fruits from an enormous basket.

1. Tippling Club. Whilst the other picks have specialised in food from Singapore, Korea, China and Japan, Tippling Club surpasses them all by offering a delectable journey across the gastronomic globe. The ten course tasting menu is the essential order of the day and the fact that each dish is assembled within viewing distance adds a unique je ne sais quoi. Chef Ryan Clift and Head Bartender Matthew Bax carefully note whether you have dined there before in order to shape the menu to your extraordinarily special dining experience. Mr. Michelin - I dare you to avoid awarding at least one star to this neat little club.

I am a firm believer that if the food is exquisite but the service is poor, any meal will be immediately tainted. Somehow, the sourness of a face can turn my food bitter, and it's not just all about smiling. Service that is (i) over-zealous (constantly clearing my barely dirty plate in a Chinese restaurant or topping up my wine glass after just one sip) or (ii) lost in translation (staff unable to explain menu items and getting the orders wrong) are two of my biggest bugbears in Singapore. WHY can serving staff not understand the key points of their job? I think this will be biggest challenge in Singapore for these new Michelin kids on the block.

Find me a waiter that can explain to me why I should try the 2005 Chablis rather than the 2006 White Rioja or exactly what is in the funny looking foam on my plate and I shall shake him by the hand. Sadly, for the most part, servers here have thrown out their brains along with their staff handbooks. Thankfully, a new reality television series, Can You Serve? may be able to infiltrate this nation of surly staff. The very fact that it exists is testament to my dining woes.

Having said all this, I am very excited at the prospect of our next 'special occasion' when I shall surely plump for one of these Singapore-side Michelin-starred experiences. Having tried Michelin-starred maze and The Harwood Arms in London, I am au fait with what the accolade means for my taste buds. However, at S$50 for dessert, I would want Mr. Savoy himself to feed it to me. Mr. Michelin, if you're reading, please pass on the message.

Tiong Bahru Market: The Saturday Sessions

2010-05-26T08:56:00.000+01:00

Eyes closed, bed-head firmly on and still in my pyjamas. I float past the hawker stalls at Tiong Bahru Market, each one conjuring an image in my mind: dark green pyramids gradually morph into bak chang, white spheres form fish balls, and striped half-moon shapes and yellow swirls change into a steaming bowl of Hokkien prawn mee. What to have for breakfast? How long will the queue for Pork Rib Prawn Noodle be today?

My slumber is interrupted by my fiercely growling stomach. My eyes crack open to see 09:31. Aargh! Better hurry lest Stanley be sold out of chickens! I run through the shower, pull on my best shorts and t-shirt combo and manage to motivate my bag-carrier (also known as my husband) to accompany me.

First up: shopping. We visit #01-171 - Stanley's Fresh Chicken & Duck Suppliers - and are lucky to get his last kampong chicken, which I will later convert into a fabulous kari ayam using the spices recommended by Stanley’s wife. Next up, we select our pick of the day’s fresh fish from the couple at #01-134. They recommend a bright-eyed white pomfret for steaming with ginger and spring onions and some purple-speckled squid for deep-frying with salt and pepper. We complement our protein purchases with hand-picked organic vegetables, fresh coconut milk and a variety of sauces and spices from the stalls in the outer ring.

Reward time: eating. Bag-laden, my husband clambers onto one of the escalators reminiscent of a sweeping staircase in a grand mansion. This way to food heaven. The humid air is heavy with a melting pot of fragrances: fried garlic, shallots and ginger; boiling chicken stock; and roasted meats. The clang of metal pots and the sizzle of hot woks can just be heard over the hawker’s cries of “ni yao submoke? / what do you want?”; “chilli?”; and “having here?” mixed with the excited chatter of the diners.

We chope our seats with our shopping bags and wander off as hunter-gatherers on a mission to secure the best breakfast item. By now, it’s near 11:00 so anything goes and the more chilli, the better in my book. The first decision in the process is ‘rice or noodles?’ and once that’s been established, deciding whether you’re in the mood for seafood, meat or just vegetables will help you narrow down your choice to a handful of stalls. Next, quality of chilli or chilli sauce is vital if you are partial to a bit of ‘zing’ and finally, the size of the queue relative to your hunger will determine your selection.

On this day, my husband plumps for his ‘usual’. The queue at #02-72 - Yuan Ji Fishball Noodle - is perennially long due to a mixture of popularity and the physical limitations of how fast an uncle’s hands can boil noodles and fish balls, add chilli, mix the sauce, throw in some pork scratchings, and sprinkle a few sprigs of coriander.

Meanwhile, I have joined the marginally shorter queue for my favourite dish at #02-82 - Tiong Bahru Boneless Chicken Rice. This is, in my humble opinion, the best chicken rice in the market; succulent chicken, tasty soup, and fragrant rice comes with a side of preserved vegetable. I plump for the upsized portion. It was a hard week in the office. I douse my rice with a generous helping of their divine chilli sauce to set my palate on fire and I meander back through the crowds to our table.

Ten lip-smacking minutes later, we are sipping thick dark coffee from #02-03 – Kopi Museum – and fresh velvety soya bean from #02-69 - Teck Seng Soya Bean Milk. The beasts in our bellies have ceased their growling and we are nearing the edge of a food-induced coma. We gather our bags and waddle towards the exit, stopping at #02-18 - Tiong Bahru Pau - to grab some egg custard tarts for our afternoon snack.

We pass the amusing red clog wearing uncle at #02-38 - Tiong Bahru Roasted Pig Specialist - who gives us a wave and a toothy grin as he shouts, “When you next time come buy pig?” “Soon, soon!” I reply, as I make a mental note to fix the date for our next roasted suckling pig party.

We exit the market into the hot sun and scurry for the cover of the five foot way. We glimpse the queue at Loo's Hainanese Curry Rice (57 Eng Hoon Street #01-88) and agree that we will forgo our usual market breakfast the following day for a Sunday session of sampling the curry that famously takes three days to make. Almost at home, we pass Le Le Pot (58 Seng Poh Road #01-23) and decide that we will treat our friends to a sumptuous steamboat feast next week.

We clamber up the stairs and fall effortlessly onto the sofa. From the window, we can see a seemingly endless stream of people, like ants on a foraging mission from their nest, heading towards the market. We sit back and relax into our post-breakfast glow and I slowly prepare myself for spending an afternoon in the kitchen cooking for the next instalment of the Tiong Bahru Tasting Club.

Glossary:
• Bak chang: Glutinous rice wrapped in lotus leaves with a meat or bean paste filling.
• Fish balls: Balls made of fish meat that has been finely pulverized and shaped by hand.
• Prawn mee: A dish of egg noodles and rice noodles in a fragrant stock, which is made from both fresh and dried prawns.
• Kampong chicken: Free-range chicken.
• Kari ayam: Malaysian curry chicken.
• Chope: to reserve a seat, usually by placing a packet of tissue paper on it.
• Chicken rice: Steamed white chicken, cut into bite-size pieces and served on fragrant rice accompanied by a delicious garlic-chili dip.
• Steamboat: A simmering pot of stock in which a variety of fresh ingredients are cooked at the table.

Sixteenth month, hitching a ride to smugdom

2010-05-15T08:53:00.002+01:00

This month, we have most been...

Preparing for and then hosting our WEDDING-DONG! After an engagement of 1 year, 2 months and 17 days, I finally made an honest man out of my fiancé. The last four weeks was almost entirely consumed by last-minute preparations: picking up wedding programmes from Cardblanche, writing out conversation cards, making adjustments to the seating plan and attending the final fitting of my wedding dress. Meanwhile, in London, my mother-in-law-to-be was putting the finishing touches on unique table decorations, beautiful bouquets and a sumptuous coffee and walnut cake.

Trying to be cost-conscious, we opted to fly back Qantas (saving a princely sum of S$1200). We later vowed never again to stray from the Singapore Airlines crew. Not only was it almost two hours before any drinks were served (at the same time as our meal), I overheard one hostess lean over to a passenger and say, "Are you sure you don't want a drink? We won't be coming round for another nine hours." And she wasn't lying. The entire rest of the journey, I imagined the Qantas crew to be playing a game of hide and seek. They were clearly so well-practised at the game that not one of the passengers could find them. Later, during our descent, a Ukrainian lady in the adjacent row was having difficulty understanding the landing card requirements. Helpfully, the steward advised her in a British accent fit for a chav, "Sorry love, I just don't speak what you speak" before walking away. It was left to the surrounding passengers to pick up the pieces. Appalling. Added to this, the crew looked like extras from the set of Home & Away - more interested in their bicep curls and make up than service with a smile. Qantas, if you ever want me to fly with you again, offer me a seat in First Class, in which maybe, just maybe, you might have something a little closer to Economy Class on Singapore Airlines.

The wedding day itself, in stark contrast, was truly Carlsberg Class - probably the best in the world. Bias is a wonderful thing. Tone Dale House provided the perfect setting for a quintessential English country wedding. Thirty one of our dear friends stayed with us in the House for the long weekend, pitching in to make meals together and indulging in a fair amount of merry-making. Our day went without a single hitch and all of our guests had a thoroughly enjoyable time. Job well done. Our high recommendations also go to Jon Bradley and Rentabooth, essential for excellent recording of the best day of our lives to date.

To bask in our post-wedding glow, we stayed in the Grade II listed Ostlers House and enjoyed a delightful stroll around Lacock, whose Abbey was the setting of Hogwarts in the Harry Potter movies. A combination of pub grub, exquisite dinners and one home-cooked meal ensued with a few glasses of bubbly along the way. Mini-moon: tick.

On our return to London, we had arranged for a meal to say one last goodbye to our friends. Shunning all of the usual offerings, we plumped for a night at The Hidden Table - a gem in the world of London's secret dining venues. Hosted by Le Patron and his two 1950s-styled Mesdames, we entered the secluded building in deepest darkest Shoreditch and were directed towards our sparkling aperitif. Moodily-lit, the space comes complete with a double-bass perched a-top a covered snooker table where we sampled cheese pastries to tickle our taste buds into submission. Next up, we were herded to the dining room, partitioned off by a large projector screen on which flickered a roaring fire. Cosy. The highlight from the multiple courses was the succulent Moroccan lamb tagine washed down by superb fine wines that our guests had provided. Far from being rushed out, our hosts joined us at the end of the meal and we stayed on drinking and chatting until after midnight. It turns out the host has wizard-like connections, so I was delighted to prolong the Harry Potter theme from earlier in the week. Five star treatment and a beautifully unique setting for an adventure in gastronomic wonderment. Book now and behold the magic.

Back at my new parents-in-law's house, I wandered into the living room to find my husband attempting to concentrate his wine-addled brain on the laptop screen in front of him. "Oops," he said as he raised his eyes to meet mine. "I just booked us business class seats back," he paused, "on Singapore Airlines." Anyone who knows me would know instantly that this act is tantamount to the Best. Gesture. Ever. What a fabulous way to end our first week as husband and wife.

Breeze into check-in, get fast-tracked through to the lounge, enjoy sipping wine and listening to soft piano music, board the plane first and select a glass of champagne to celebrate the beginning of your business class experience. It's top dollar, your wallet will scream with pain, but for a special occasion, it's 100% worth it.

Returning to Singapore refreshed after a six hour sleep and some good on-screen action accompanied by delicious snacks, we were suddenly hit with a wall of heavy air. Our hearts sank a little with thoughts of family and friends back in England but we were also glad to get back to the comfort of our own home and bed. Bring on the battle against post-wedding blues...

Next up is catching up with friends here, partying, adjusting to married life and relaxing in the sunshine... Could be worse!

Top five worst jobs in Singapore

2010-04-16T06:51:00.007+01:00

Image credit: http://thruorkedseyes.blogspot.com/2009/06/my-lifejournal-bored.html

Although I often despair at being stuck in my office cubicle, I console myself with the fact that 'it could be worse'. Here's my take on the top five WORST jobs in Singapore:

5. Shrek at Universal Studios Singapore. Enormous, heavy, furry, bright green costume + 136.8 km north of the equator = Sweat Monster.

4. Pest control worker. With no less than FOUR different types of cockroach here, all loving the heat as much as any fresh-off-the-boat expat, I'd rather die than have to deal with an infestation.

3. Party Police. Policeman on the party circuit between midnight and 4 a.m. have the patience of Hachiko. Often having to return to the same expat households weekend after weekend, and although carrying heavy weapons which could close down any party at the shout of "everybody get down", the police here are extremely placid. We just wish that they didn't turn up so early. However, given the high population density and lack of double-glazing, it is little wonder that annoyed neighbours have their fingers on the keypad in no time at all.

2. Bin man. With the daily temperature hovering around the optimum temperature for common bacteria growth, and a less-than-perfect refuse collection system in some parts of Singapore (sadly, Tiong Bahru is one), the stench of dealing with rotting household waste day after day is less than desirable.

1. Romanian diplomat. The State Coroner recently ruled that Dr. Silviu Ionescu was responsible for the death of one and serious injury of two other Singaporean residents following an alcohol-fueled hit and run debacle. One has to wonder if the case would be different if Romania was a country in which Singapore was remotely interested. Unfortunately for Silviu, it looks as if his status may soon be revoked:

Fifteenth month, fun in the sun

2010-04-15T01:42:00.005+01:00

This month, we have mostly been...

- Bemused by Opera. We checked out the launch event for An Expat Journey In Singapore at the swish and swanky recently opened Opera Gallery on the third floor of the monstrous just-landed-from-outer-space ION Orchard. I don't believe I've been in a gallery with less 'cohesion'. I'm a firm believer that a gallery should offer a journey through the curator's mind and not just be a shop selling art. In any event, I have never understood opera, so I guess I was never going to understand Opera Gallery.

- Tippling. What an experience. We sat at the bar, at right angles to the service station, so were in full view of the glory of the Tippling Club kitchen. The brainchild of Chef Ryan Clift and Head Bartender Matthew Bax, Tippling Club is perched on the edge of the Dempsey jungle. No sooner had our bottle of elegant and complex white arrived than we were presented with a plate of grapes. Ah-ha! But these were no ordinary grapes, these were carbonated “bourbon” grapes. Cue an explosion of little whisky bubbles in my mouth. Up next was a plate of 2-inch long knobbled black sticks and a little dish of light brown sauce. Ta-da! Char-grilled green peppers served with a miso soy foam. To finish our last glasses, we tucked into morsels of freshly cut jamón serrano from pigs reared by Ryan's mate's Dad. Absolutely delicious and proving that Chef Ryan is not so far up his own proverbial with 'foam of this' and 'essence of that' to appreciate good quality ingredients. Of course, all of this was topped off by the fact that we were personally served by Chef Ryan himself. It was truly a wonder that one can be Head Chef and Awesome Maître d' at the same time and the food is testament to the fact that the kitchen is clearly a superbly and slickly run operation. We left vowing to return for our post-wedding diner pour deux. In fifteen months of living in Singapore, this was the first experience where the quality of service matched the food.

Another store that will never have a UK branch

- Tittering. From 'Toss' Salad Bar to www.catchcheatingspouse.com private investigators and from a pie that gets you 'high' to the all-new crunchy offering from Pizza Hut complete with cornflakes(!), it's good to know that we still delight in the peculiarities of living outside the UK.

- Getting high. It's good to have friends in 'high places'. Hidden amongst the forgotten malls of Beach Road, an office block has a supreme roof top pool and deck perfect for an all-night rave with a rare perspective of the Kallang River and indoor stadium. Okay, so, as if on cue, the Party Police turned up at midnight and waited patiently, as usual, for the troops to move on, but it sure was fun while it lasted.

- Mangiato. We were treated to a divine Italian feast at Otto. Wines sourced from organic producers in Italy by Enrico Furlan, stories provided by reportage photographer and writer, Brian Palmer, currently artist-in-residence at Objectifs, and food laced with love and packed with passion. We were lucky enough to be guinea pigs for some selections of the new menu and were pleased to give a resounding thumbs up. Along with Tippling Club, this was one for the Schwarzenegger List.

- Chillaxin' and Rinsin'. Another Rawa rinse-out involving the avoidance of liver malfunction whilst imbibing copious amounts of alcohol, playing in the sea and dancing like no one's watching. Bliss.

- Attending to last minute preparations. We're getting married on Saturday, 1 May in Somerset, England. Five things that we have organised here: rings from DeRocks (10 Anson Rd #19-11 Singapore 079903. Contact: 62226818); a suit from Rossi (9 Raffles Boulevard #01-36 Millenia Walk, Singapore 039596. Contact: 63362818); a wedding dress from Silhouette; wedding programmes from Card Blanche; and learning to dance with Calvin at Shawn & Gladys. Overall, we have been very impressed with the service: from larger than life Izik at DeRocks who makes you feel like a real high-roller whilst diamond 'shopping'; to Ferne at Card Blanche who punctuates her sentences with "yeah". It's possible and enjoyable to deal with some 'wedmin' from afar!

Up next is said wedding, a 'mini-moon' in the Cotswolds, and the general feeling of excitement at being reunited with close friends and family. Bring it on!

Asian Adventure 15 :: 26-28 Mar'10 :: Return to Rawa

2010-03-29T08:53:00.001+01:00

Who wouldn't want to wake up to this view on a Saturday morning?

It was my *bright* idea to journey up to Rawa on Friday night instead of leaving early Saturday morning, as before, to avoid feeling obliged to go to some rubbish nightspot to stay awake. We left Singapore just after six thirty and arrived at midnight after a loooong border crossing involving a stop for 'more booze', urination behind a bush, the border police and forgotten employment passes. Nevertheless, it meant that we had two full on Paradise P!ss-Ups, ending both nights at 6 a.m. Pure class in a glass and an awesome send-off to our dear friend, Katie, who soon leaves these shores for the Motherland.

48 (alternative) hours in Singapore...

2010-03-24T08:30:00.021Z

Now, of course you can already find at your webbed fingertips mainstream media coverage of 48 hours in Singapore. I'm not going to waste any time on telling you about how amazing Changi Airport is, where the best place to eat chicken rice is or how to get to Singapore Zoo. Here's a quick list of famous mainstream attractions that are 'hit' or 'miss' and a bunch of ideas for alternative places to have on your Singapore radar:

Hit:

Mustafa Centre - full to bursting with things you didn't know you needed.
Little India & Arab Quarter: try a tour by Geraldene Lowe-Ismail. Call Geraldene on (+65) 6737 5250 or send an email.
Chinatown Heritage Centre - even if you're only vaguely interested in how Singapore used to be, the collection of antique items and the mock-ups of living quarters is pretty eye-opening.
Bugis Junction - By far and away the best mall as it houses independent stores stocking unique labels.

Miss:

Orchard Road - unless you shop at Chanel or LV, this road is filled with slow-walking locals whose main past time is window shopping as they saunter from one air-conditioned mall to the next. Visit at your peril.
The Singapore Flyer - Afraid of having to be winched down? Save your $30 and put it towards lunch at Si Chuan Dou Hua at the top of the UOB Plaza. Amazing dim sum, awesome tea service and a superb view of Singapore that comes free with your meal. [Once the Sky Park at Marina Bay Sands opens, this will surely add another nail into the Singapore Flyer's coffin.]

Drink

1. Club Street

Avoid Clarke Quay at all costs (one giant meat market for men across a full spectrum of miscreants: SAS (Still At School) to POP (Prostitutes Only Please).

The Scarlet Hotel; and The Screening Room - Rooftop tippling doesn't come much better than this.
Les Bouchons - Enjoy a superbly succulent steak with unlimited portions of French fries.
Beaujolais - Knock back a few glasses of fermented grape juice and watch the world go by.

2. Dempsey [WARNING: Bring mosquito repellent if you have tasty blood]

The old Army barracks has been transformed into a hive of bars and restaurants. However, quantity does not mean quality. Stick to the following for weekends only (lest you want to be Billy No Mates):

Tippling Club. Pull up a chair barside and keep your fingers crossed that Chef Ryan likes the look of your face. Get yourself a Death in The Afternoon, a Smokey Bastard or a bottle of fine wine... and be seriously wowed by the awesome service, delicious bar snacks and divine beverages on offer. Worth every cent.
White Rabbit. Set in an old church, with quality house music at weekends played by homegrown talent such as NOMSTA*.
House. Famous for its cocktails, this place has a cafe and a bar to choose from, complemented by outdoor seating with a view of the jungle.

3. Other hidden gems

Speak Easy, Outram Park - Nestled amongst the shophouses with a great wine list and a gallery upstairs.
Blu Jaz, Bugis - Alternative drinking hole offering quality music, three floors of mis-matching furniture and a laidback atmosphere.
Klee Bar, Portsdown Road. You pick a fruit. They make a customized cocktail with it. The barmen are quite pretentious really, but the place is undoubtedly romantic with 10 vintage deco seats and a long and low wooden bar. The terrace is surrounded by savannah trees and very quiet... Only a few cars pass by every hour once night has fallen...
LOOF, City Hall - If drinking a Singapore Sling at the Long Bar in Raffles Hotel doesn't tickle your fancy, head over the road and chill in this rooftop oasis complete with plastic trees.
Orgo, Esplanade - Hidden on the roof of The Esplanade (Durian). Watch the sun set and sip a delicious (if a little pricey) cocktail by renowned Japanese mixologist, Tomoyuki Kitazoe.
Canopy Dining, Bishan Park - Chillax to the max whilst feeling like you have left Singapore (OK, so you're half way to Malaysia but it's easy to forget you are in the heartlands until you have to walk out to the main road).
Zac Cafe, Arab Quarter - One of a number of good quality Arabic restaurants serving up delicious humus and grilled meats. Finish your meal with a shisha and a wander through the backstreets for an incomparable vibe buzzing with locals and expats in the know.

See & Do

Sculpture Square, Bugis - The only space dedicated to 3D artworks is small but perfectly formed. Not open Sundays.
La Salle, Bugis - If you want to see what urban wear looks like in Singapore, head down to this iconic building. Often, they have flea markets where students sell their unique hand-crafted items or free talks and seminars. It's one of those rare places in Singapore that feels like it has its own heartbeat.
White Canvas Gallery, Tiong Bahru - Set in Singapore's oldest housing estate and next door to awesome French patisserie, Centre PS, is Enrico Furlan's homage to thought-provoking sculptures made from modern materials, such as recycled plastic and silicone. Everyone needs a five metre long red crocodile. Believe.
Blackmarket, Arab Quarter - Within a stone's throw of the über-trendy Haji Lane is a shop dedicated to urban chic wear and re-vamped vintage sunglasses. Check out the ceiling - they actually drank all of the Orangina themselves.
Strangelets, Tanjong Pagar - Militant craftsmanship at its very best offering unique design items for the pocket or home.
The Southern Ridges - Take a bus or taxi to Hort Park and pick up the start of the Treetop Walkway, leading to the highest pedestrian bridge in the country, Henderson Waves. Carry on to Mount Faber and down to the Marang Trail which winds down towards Vivocity (Harbour Front MRT) via some incredibly impressive old Black & Whites. I prefer to do the walk in the reverse of the recommended as then I can reward myself with an ice cream at the end. After two hours of walking, you'll need it.

Chillaxing
My dear friend, Thibault De Rocca Sera (a.k.a. "Mr. Chill"), advises that you don't need to head to Indonesia or Thailand if you enjoy being pampered.

Spa Botanica, Sentosa. An amazing feeling to have flown to Bali during the time of an afternoon. You are invited to enjoy the full facilities before and after your treatment. Surrounded by lush vegetation, you will most probably enjoy the salad bar between a dip in the mud pool and a nap on the floating mattresses under the waterfall. SGD160 per hour with use of the facilities.
Healing Touch Massage, River Valley. The "deep tissue massage" is a must try. The best therapists in Singapore. The obviously experienced therapists "read" your back and muscles, and make you want to hire them permanently. SGD50 per hour.

Stay

Avoid the over-sized monsters of the hotel world and check out the following boutique establishments:

New Majestic Hotel, Outram Park - Rooms designed by Singaporean emerging artists.
Hotel 1929, Outram Park - Beautiful colonial architecture and modern interiors.
Gallery Hotel, Clarke Quay - Every boutique room and suite expresses its designer's unique interpretation of space.
Naumi Hotel, Bugis - Personalised luxury and a superb rooftop bar and pool.
The Scarlet Hotel, Tanjong Pagar - Great location, 100 m away from Club Street and China Town.
Quincy Hotel, Orchard Road - Modern chic space near Orchard Road.
The Klapsons, Tanjong Pagar - Unique rooms crafted by a leading design house: Sawaya & Moroni. Member of Design Hotels.
Wangz Hotel, Tiong Bahru - Complete with awesome rooftop bar with a great view.
Hotel Nostalgia, Tiong Bahru - Rooms decked out in bright fabrics and a rooftop mini-pool with adjacent bar in the heart the oldest neighbourhood around.
The Club will open on Ann Siang Road in late April this year.

Websites

HungryGoWhere - foodies congregate here to extol the virtues of a perfectly foamed wasabi mousse or cause death by criticism of an overly surly waitress.

Gothere - Unbeatable local knowledge on how to get from point A to point B using all methods of transport, except hoverboard (coming soon, no doubt).

Outré - street fashion blog - get the Singapore look.

For the record, the best chicken rice is Tiong Bahru Boneless Chicken Rice (#02-82, Tiong Bahru Market). Word.

Fourteenth month, fandango jam

2010-03-15T04:38:00.001Z

Image Credit: hijoshboston@flickr.com

This month, we have mostly been...

- Celebrating the Tiger, twice:

First up was my office Chinese New Year 'party' held at the Golden Peony, Conrad Hotel. A magnificent eight course menu ensued covering dishes from double-boiled sea whelk in golden pumpkin soup to meltingly soft Wagyu veal cheek stewed in 'rich brown sauce'. To 'mix it up' a little each Head of Department was on rotation with each course, which made for interesting, if a little stunted, conversation. The highlight of the evening was watching a local newbie down no less than six large glasses of red wine in a row. Once the poor chap had his full Asian Glow on, the ang mors retreated back to their corners to re-group and decide to which dirty basement establishment they would be heading to for the classy 'after-party' with the 'professional ladies'. Nice.

Second, was the Tiong Bahru Community Lunar New Year 'Get-Together' held in a large open-sided tent on a patch of grass next to the MRT station. Despite having to cater for approximately 500 hungry locals with a smattering of ang mors, the chefs did an excellent job of dishes ranging from taboo-but-delicious shark's fin soup to chili prawns and steamed grouper. Sadly, with the only drinks choice being fanta or lemonade, a swift nip to the 7-11 was required to purchase cold water and beers, lest we choked on an unchewed morsel during the local MP's enthralling speech. Strip-lighting and overhead ceiling fans provided an electric but sweltering atmosphere enhanced only by various on-stage performances ranging from a local marital (sic.) arts group to a lone Chinese belly-dancer. We've already bought our tickets for next year. No, really.

Leaping with a Singaporean back drop

- Booze Cruising: The Seaquel. Pack even more of your friends onto the same boat, with even more booze and head for the same stretch of the Singapore Straits and you've got an even bigger and better party than the last one. When asked if the crowd wanted 'more', Malaysia could have heard those tigers roar.

- Learning how to be a Producer. We were lucky to win tickets to hear Nik Powell speak at the National Museum, courtesy of the British Council. Little did I know that he started Virgin Records with Richard Branson BEFORE going on to produce 'The Crying Game'! Nik was highly amusing, kept up a solid pace and left me with the feeling that he should become a spokesperson for Nike's "Just Do It" campaign. His selected Latin proverb said it all, "It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, but because we do not dare, things are difficult. (Non quia difficilia sunt non audemus, sed quia non audemus, difficilia sunt.) Coupled with his three-pronged advice: "Never turn down a good thing"; "Be comfortable with going in a different direction to everyone else"; and "Do not be afraid to fail", I left feeling thoroughly inspired. Upon entering my office cubicle the next morning, I felt thoroughly uninspired.

Blackmarket Kids

- Drinking beer on The Blackmarket. Another awesome launch party, this time for früfrü & Tigerlily who are taking over part of this forward-thinking independent clothing store. If you're wondering where the trendy kids 'hide' out in Singapore, this is it.

Up next month are a seafood feast, a party on a rooftop and another hedonistic weekend in Rawa-wa-waaaah!

Finally, for those who have been wondering, like I did: The "OOO-OOO" bird you hear in Singapore is called an Asian Koel, a distant relative of the cuckoo:

Local nature trivia doesn't get better than this.

Asian Adventure 14 :: 12-16 Feb '10 :: Bohol

2010-02-17T08:25:00.003Z

Twelve hours after rising from our beds, we were unpacking our bags in paradise. On the way, we enjoyed a few hours layover in the Krisflyer Lounge at Manila airport before boarding Philippine Airlines for a trip accompanied by 'greaseless peanuts' and a candid camera show, thankfully on 'silent'.

Touching down at Tagbilaran Airport we were astounded by the proximity of huts to the runway. People who are against the expansion of Heathrow need to visit The Philippines to get some perspective.

Another remarkable element of this trip was the prevalence of English and religion. Not only were all signs in English, but the standard of spoken English from the locals we met far surpassed what we have experienced in Thailand, Vietnam and Indonesia. Added to that, on the back of each motor-tricycle is a religious sentiment: "God is good"; "Be honest"; or "Do your best and God will do the rest" to name a few examples. Thanks to the Spanish, a surprising 95% of inhabitants of The Philippines are Christian believers, with 80% of those belonging to the Roman Catholic Church.

We sped along the surprisingly well-surfaced roads past half-finished huts; a man taking his goat for a walk; school girls in bright pink uniform and the odd grazing cow. Finally, we took a sharp left passed the sign stating: "Gun Free Zone: Please deposit your firearms" and entered our oasis, at Alona Beach, Panglao.

One thing's for sure, we were quite shocked at the sheer number of beach bars and restaurants that were brimming with life all the way down the Alona strip. The smokey scent of charcoal hung in the air as fires were being stoked for the evening's tasty seafood BBQ dinners. A word of warning: avoid the beachside 'buffets' at all costs and stick with items selected for the BBQ. The buffet we tried turned out to be a couple of plastic tables sagging under the weight of a myriad of plates of tasteless vegetables, fatty meat and overcooked fish. The one amusing element of that evening was that we were surrounded by not one, not two, but three visible handguns. For some odd reason in The Philippines, security guards also double as restaurant waiters, a phenomenon that we would also observe back in Manila. Taking 'moonlighting' to the extreme.

Our two day's diving with SeaQuest was excellent for aficionados of wall diving. Three white-tipped sharks in a cave, schooling jack fish, and a giant hawksbill turtle were highlights of our trips. The fact that our room was a mere fifteen paces to the dive centre also made up for the early starts.

To ensure that we had ticked off all the tourist spots in Bohol, we opted for a day's tour around the mainland. Our driver was clearly a Filipino version of Colin McRae. We enjoyed speeding dangerously on every stretch of straight road and were only mildly perturbed by the technique of 'beep and immediately overtake'.

Chocolate Hills - they turn brown in 'winter'.

One of our tarsier friends.

We treated ourselves to a chocolate ice cream whilst viewing the Chocolate Hills; spotted four out of the ten tarsiers in the Sanctuary; clung on for dear life to the Hanging Bridge; held a butterfly by it's wings and endured another mildly disappointing meal on a cruise down the Loboc River. The highlight of the cruise was certainly the stop-off at the Ati tribe, a Disney-esque take on traditional tribal living. The only difference was that small children who should probably have been in school were also part of the 'act'. All in all, it was an enjoyable day out away from the beach, and worth doing if you're one of those people who gets bored stiff just roasting your skin in the sun.

The Ati tribe.

Overall, our experience made us want to explore other islands in The Philippines. There are 7,107 of them, so plenty to get on with! To secure the future of their tourism industry, they simply need to to send a Filipino envoy to Thailand to learn about beach lighting (billowing material lampshades hung from the trees vs. rope lighting wrapped around trees) and the art of cuisine (even the Valentine's Day meal at upmarket Alona Palm Beach was heavy on the salt). At the same time, the Filipinos can teach the Thais a little about service: with a smile, attentive, and how not to screw up your patrons' orders.

Thirteenth month, sail away

2010-02-15T06:16:00.002Z

Now that the year anniversary has passed and all of the associated excitement has died down, this month, we have mostly been:

- Applying for PR. After waiting for no less than two months for an appointment to submit my passport, originals of my birth certificate and university transcripts; evidence of salary for the last six months; and a completed Form 4, I finally applied for permanent residence in Singapore. Sadly, the much-anticipated 'interview' (and endless goadings from my colleagues that I would be asked to sing the National Anthem or interpret some Singlish phrases, like "Mee Mare Mew" = "Big Mac Meal"), turned out to be a damp squib; the appointment was over in less than ten minutes. I handed over my documents to the robotron who duly ticked off my items from the checklist and informed me that it would take three months to process. No handshake, no free cup of Milo, not even a sticker. I exited the building feeling distinctly anticlimactic.

Still perfecting the words to this one.

The Godfather (of Techno).

- Seeing Sven Väth at Zouk. Revered by many as 'The Godfather of Techno', Mr Väth kept us on our techno toes for a couple of hours before the enormous quantities of alcohol consumed started to soak into our lower limbs, making them heavy and not fit for the purpose of throwing shapes. I have begun to wonder, though, whether I really enjoy going out clubbing in Singapore full stop. Zouk tends to pull in a veritably young crowd; there are distinctly more older clubbers in London. In addition, there is a certain 'je ne sais quoi' lacking in the atmosphere. With so many of the 'see and be seen' crowd out in full force, one has to wonder what percentage of people are really there for the music. When there are twice as many girls in the toilets applying make-up and re-touching their locks than there relieving themselves, something tells me these ladies are not getting down and dirty to the twitchy clicks and thumping bass. Ravers these ain't.

- Being amazed at Thaipusam. Now, I am no sadist, especially not during the weekdays. However, the last Saturday of January was the perfect time to enjoy watching a seemingly endless procession of skewered Hindus parade before our eyes on Serangoon Road. Aside from the multi-coloured cages carried by the older members of the procession, my favourite adornments were the milk bottles and large limes. I find it's always good to have a metal skewer through the tongue too, and even better if it's connected by chains to one's ears. Awesomely gruesome.

Well and truly skewered.

Anyone got any limes?

- Becoming catamoronic. There is nothing I like better than to do things in Singapore that we would never do in London. Grab eighteen of your booze guzzling friends and spend the afternoon on a luxury catamaran - docking on a quiet part of St. John's Island, lining your stomachs with a BBQ cooked on board, whacking up the volume on the iPod and messing about on the water. Ultimate bliss, followed by utter carnage, via the port of sunburn. Supreme.

- Joining The Line. By far and away the winner when it comes to the art of the buffet. The Line has an abundant spread covering every corner of the world. Notable items for me included: oysters shucked before your eyes; sashimi sliced on the spot; the satay station; the dim sum tower; the ice cream teppanyaki and of course, the Veuve Clicquot. Yes, it's expensive; No, I wouldn't go there every weekend. But, if you're after delectable world cuisine on tap, you would be foolhardy to miss this spread. Proponents of putting an end to world hunger need not apply.

- Feeling 'cultured' for once. Exhibition gatherings are something I particularly miss about living in London. Gone are the days when a Thursday evening means swinging by a local East End gallery, grabbing a free beer, taking a look at some art and perhaps meeting a handful of like-minded people. Thankfully, Give Art Gallery came to our rescue with the launch party for Florence Notté's book, Urban Reflects. The book comprises of forty pages of photographs taken from Florence's condominium window of the reflections in the opposite tower's windows, somewhat inspired by David Hockey's famous swimming pool paintings from the 1960's. A little break from the norm. More of this, please, Singapore!

- Celebrating Valentine's Day and Chinese New Year in The Philippines!

Next up is yet another boat party, more house parties, pot luck dinners and hanging in our 'hood. Tiong Bahru life has been progressively getting better and better. Now that we have a central space to chill out, look at sculptures, read books, and enjoy stimulating conversations, we are feeling very 'at home' indeed.

Tiong Bahru :: The Hollywood of Singapore

2010-01-20T08:49:00.008Z

Despite being so central, Tiong Bahru remains little-known in expat circles, despite previously being known as the Hollywood of Singapore and being built by the British in the 1930s. Here is a round-up of answers to the most important of questions when considering where to base yourself in Singapore:

Where, hor? [Where is it located?]

Tiong Bahru is situated in District 3, two MRT stops west of Tanjong Pagar on the western edge of the central business district, where CapitaLand, Google, eBay, and PayPal (to name but a few) have their head offices.

Where got good drink, hor? [Where can I relax with a good glass of wine?]

Three hotels and one wine bar compete for your liquid dollars in Tiong Bahru, all of which have opened in the last 18 months.

Halo at Wangz Hotel (+65 6595 1388 / 5 pm - midnight daily). A large metallic beer barrel landed in Tiong Bahru this year to the bemusement of some residents. This urban sculpture of gleaming aluminium cladding and asymmetrically-placed windows houses Tiong Bahru's best rooftop bar (Yes! it's not the only one. See below...). Complete with funky water features, a barman who knows his Sauvignon from his Semillon and an un-paralleled view of Tanjong Pagar, this is our firm favourite for a post-work wind down. Glass of house wine: $8.50. Highs: The view; the trendy styling. Lows: Only one choice of house white and it's a simple Chardonnay.

Cafe Potion at Hotel Nostalgia (+65 6808 1818 / 7 am - midnight daily). An alfresco dining and drinking spot offering occasional soft live music to accompany your selected beverage. Thought has gone into crafting a decent wine list and offering things that remain unique to the area: a weekend brunch and a 52 inch plasma sports TV. Glass of house wine: $9.00. Highs: Well-priced, decent wine; delicious food (albeit portions are slightly small). Lows: The setting right next to busy bustling Tiong Bahru Road can be a distraction when the buses roar past. A poolside terrace bar is opening soon, so if they can replicate their good work down below, this should be a roaring success.

Breeze Beer Garden at The Link (+65 6622 8585 / 5 pm – midnight daily). A long and thin rooftop bar without a view provides some solace from the busy road below. Simple drinks abound; our barman was a bit blur like sotong when it came to ordering anything more complex than a wine or beer. Glass of house wine: $9.00. Highs: The simplicity. Lows: The simplicity.

Wine Wise at 57 Eng Hoon Street #01-86 (+65 6227 2118 / 11 am – 2 pm, 6 pm – 10 pm). Despite the charm of drinking "straight from the barrel", it will take more than a squint of the eyes to imagine yourself in a rustic French vineyard. Here, wines are served tasting not of oak, but plain old wood with just a hint of chipboard. Accompany what has been to date the worst fermented grape juice ever to pass my Eurasian lips with hard seating and (when we were there) psy-trance, one has to wonder whether this really is a drinking establishment or if it's just for "show". Highs: The offer for me to 'create my own bottle' by mixing wines from the barrels and designing my own label - a sure winner of a gift... for someone you despise. Lows: Please see above.

Where got makan shiok shiok? [Where can I eat delicious food?]

People travel from all over Singapore in their droves to attend the famous Tiong Bahru market and its surrounding standalone eateries. Just don't forget to chope your seats.

Stall name/Unit Address

Breakfast
Tiong Bahru Teochew Kueh / #02-02 (Get your chwee kueh here and ask for chilli - by default, ang mo's get none.)
Jian Bo Shui Kueh / #02-05 (Sticky rice with a variety of fillings. Go for a meaty one unless you like bean paste.)
Tiong Bahru Hwa Yuen Porridge / #02-74 (Delicious shredded chicken with century egg or meaty pork porridge.)
Kampong Carrot Cake / #02-53 (No, not carrot cake with icing, the choice here is dark or light soy. Just try it.)
Teck Seng Soya Bean Milk / #02-69 (The queue is always long and they run out by around 11 am every day. If you can bear the queue, do it. It is certainly the best.)
Tiong Bahru Pau / #02-18 (Siew mai, sticky rice, char siu sow, char siu pau - just point and say "having here" for a plate of meaty, gooey goodness.)

Lunch
Tiong Bahru Boneless Chicken Rice / #02-82 (By far the best chicken rice in the market - comes with a side of preserved vegetable. Go upsize. You know it's worth it.)
Koh Brother Pig’s Organ Soup / #02-29 (Only for those who have an intense love of innards. The peppery soup is just divine. Have it with some rice and enjoy the special chilli.)
Tiong Bahru Roasted Pig Specialist / #02-38 (For all your meat on rice needs, try out this stall. There's a man who works there who sometimes wears large red Japanese clogs. He's a complete nutbag, but he's also one of the friendliest men alive.)
Lor Mee 178 / #02-58 (Shark-lovers of the world would unite and campaign outside this stall for Greenpeace. Thankfully, they haven't heard about it yet, so the only option is "extra, Shark Bites please".)
Yuan Ji Fishball Noodle /#02-72 (Okay, so this husband and wife team may be one of the slowest servers in the market, but this is still definitely the best offering for this most simple of dishes that is known to cure any ang mo hangover. Tried and tested, too many times to mention.)

Snacks
7 Original Tiong Bahru Fishball / #02-20 (Craving fish balls or sotong balls on a stick? How about fish cakes shaped like actual fish? This stall has it all and more and the guy serving it has a whisker as long as my index finger. That means he's been around for a while and so has this stall. Rocking.

Outside of the market, there are a number of excellent eateries offering delicious dishes served in air-conditioned surroundings:

Le Le Pot at Blk 58 Seng Poh Road #01-23 (+65 6222 9442). Our favourite place for a constantly sumptuous and affordable steamboat feast. The price gets you a buffet selection from the a la carte menu, which is comfortingly always the same. Added to this, we have never had any gastronomic illnesses from eating there (unlike our experience at Tin Yi Gang Shi Huo, a few doors down on Seng Poh Road) and the owner is a former TV extra, so the place is adorned with photographs of him dressed in various amusing costumes. If you're lucky, when you go up to pay your bill, you might just meet him!

Por Kee Eating House at Blk 69 Seng Poh Lane (+65 6221 0582). Open since 1996, this eatery offers both alfresco and air-con dining, serving up live seafood from its wall of tanks next to the car park. Enjoy the achar appetiser whilst you peruse the enormous menu. No one in the area offers better meaty spare ribs ("Champagne Pork Ribs - short") which come coated in a sticky blackened sauce to die for. Order their live prawns (with your choice of sauce) and get stuck in with a side of spicy kang kong. Finger bowl essential.

Ting Heng Seafood Restaurant at #01-03, Blk 82 Tiong Poh Road (+65 6323 6093). No frills, alfresco steamboat haven for those hungry enough to tackle its large menu. Open until 4 am, you might find some of the waitresses get a little lost in translation. This is nothing that a little pointing won't fix.

Loo's Hainanese Curry Rice at 57 Eng Hoon Street #01-88 (+65 6225 3762). Curry that takes three days to cook puts Jamie Oliver's slow-roasted lamb recipe to shame. Arrive early. Chope seats. Queue. Get barked at by one of the aunties. Quickly select your chosen dishes that will be served with boiled rice. Four dishes will easily feed two hungry brunchers. Roadside seating, delicious home-cooked dishes. An institution.

Sin Hoi Sai Seafood Restaurant at 55 Tiong Bahru Road (opposite The Link) (+65 6223 0810). Famous for Chilli Crab, it has a wide selection of crabs from different part of the world as well as the opportunity for you to try geoduck, by far the weirdest sea creature I have ever had the mild-pleasure to ingest.

Where to do marketing? [Where can I go to the market or shops to buy food?]

Tiong Bahru Market - #01-134 - the best place to buy fish and seafood. Run by a husband and wife team, if you frequent them long enough, answer their searching questions (they know my job, my ethnic background, where I live, but have yet to ask my name), you will get good discounts on their excellent selection.

Tiong Bahru Market - #01-171 - Stanley's Fresh Chicken & Duck Suppliers (+65 8161 2178). By far and away the best kampong (read: free-range) chicken money can buy. Aunties, Japanese expat wives and me queue up every weekend to grab Stanley's poultry served with a cheeky grin and a witty quip before it all runs out. He is usually cleaning up his stall by 11 am. The early marketer catches the bird.

If it's dessert you're after, look no further than Centre PS, at 78 Guan Chuan Street #01-43, for exquisitely delicious French macaroons, crumbly biscotti, delicately designed cupcakes and melt-in-the-mouth cheesecakes of varying flavours. Perfect presents to take over to your favourite friend's dinner party for something to wow the palette during the coffee course.

There are a host of stalls on the outside sections of the wet market that sell virtually everything else you need for your weekly shop (bar fresh cow's milk that you can get from the 7-11 opposite). If you're in doubt, buy something from Stanley and ask him what you're after. His wife will show you where to get it.

I want to off the TV and go out after midnight. Where got party? [Is there a good nightspot?]

Zouk is but fifteen minutes' walk away (OK, twenty if you're half cut and walking the squiggly way home). Famed as being one of Singapore's longest standing and best quality nightclubs, the crew have worked tirelessly to put Little Red Dot Clubbing on the map, attracting top names approximately once a month. Dig your own rave.

Ai-yo! So bored. Is there something to look, look, see, see? [Is there anything cultural to see or do?]

White Canvas Gallery is just a few months old and, when it fully launches, promises to enhance the local cultural offering. Tiong Bahru is not just about beautiful architecture any more. Enrico Furlan, the owner, has kitted out the gallery space with some highly unusual but rather special items: vases made of multi-coloured silicone, golden tortoises, over-sized pulled plastic flower sculptures and animals made of metal sheets and wires are the current exhibition. Highs: Exuberant surroundings, intriguing artwork and a wonderfully tranquil atmosphere. Lows: Why can't I live there?

Wahlau! So many info oreddy. More got, where? [Where can I read more about Tiong Bahru?]

Alvin Yeo (Estate Agent for Tiong Bahru) maintains a regular blog full of local tidbits to keep you amused. It's well written, often witty, and a superb insight into life in this golden village. If Tiong Bahru's for you, he's your man.

Singapore life where got fun? Bonne Anniversaire Singapur

2010-01-15T07:47:00.002Z

After one year on this tiny isle, has Sin City surpassed expectations or has it just been one big Singa-bore?

Highs:

Gastronomic wonderland - When they are not eating, they are talking (or, at the very least, thinking) about food. It is little wonder. Singapore has it all - from the tasty $2 noodle stall to the ultra fine dining experience. It has yet to become a Michelin star state, but with the arrival this year of Joel Robuchon, that is likely to change. With as many concentrations of nationalities as there are matching food outlets, there exists a spectacular melting pot of gastronomic delights. Chefs beware, though, NTUC Fairprice should only be your first port of call if you're whipping up some local cuisine. If you're cooking anything vaguely Western, head to Cold Storage or Carrefour instead.

Roaming South East Asia - Uniquely positioned on the globe, Singapore has long benefited from it's location as a gateway to South East Asia. With the advent of the low cost carrier industry, residents and visitors can now take advantage of cheap and regular travel to neighbouring countries: Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia and The Philippines are all on the doorstep along with countries growing as tourist destinations such as Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Burma and China. In the space of just one year, we have enjoyed no less than thirteen Asian Adventures, a "personal best" in terms of foreign travel, which would be impossible in the UK for those without over-sized wallets. The opportunity to explore this region with its myriad of different cultures and experiences has been nothing short of amazing. Apparently, the novelty of saying, "I spent last weekend in Jakarta, next is in Krabi, after that, it's Siem Reap and then after that, I might stay in Singapore or I might pop to Rawa" wears off after a while. Not yet, is all I can say.

People galore - It's not the place, it's the people. Wherever you are in the world, the people around you are what make your experience truly unique. We have been unbelievably lucky to have met the people we now call our friends. Of course, as expats, we have naturally gravitated to others in a similar position, so our circle is still predominantly foreign rather than local. In London, we would hang out in our 'clique' semi-cautious of "new people" (not out of fear, more out of a lack of time or energy to devote to the cementing of new friendships). Our first year here has been like being back at university - tons of new places to explore and a whole bunch of similarly-aged people to hang out with. The difference is that it is the rule rather than the exception that they are from other parts of the globe. Dinner parties are cosmopolitan experiences where you can share and learn about life from a different corner of the world. Added to that, I have never met such a great concentration of mixed race people - those that can understand my childhood identity woes and together feel smug about how 'globally trendy' it has made us. The only drawback is that Singapore is a fairly transient place. Many stay just two years and if you make it past four, it's likely you will be here for another four. Nevertheless, the excellent times you spend together, however short, ensure that you will always hold your Sin City chums in special regard. I have never been blissing out in Rawa, clubbing in Jakarta or diving in Ko Lanta with any of my friends 'back home'. But then again, you could say we are 'missing out' on good times in London. Right now, the party is East side. Period.

Extraordinary pursuits - From condominium crashing to jungle trekking; from diving the deep blue sea to learning Singlish, from partying on yachts and helipads, we have done a lot of things this year that we would never have done living in the UK. The constant climate means that so much more of our lives is spent outdoors and plans for picnics and BBQs are not weather dependent. Sure, some residents miss the seasons, which help to mark the passing of time, but personally, I would trade seasons any day over the long, grey, cold, wet and windy winters of the isle of Great Britain.

Lows:

Kiasu - This pervades every facet of Singaporean life. Here, the attitude is not 'work hard, play hard', it's 'work hard, get ahead, work harder'. Singaporeans shuffle to the front of a busy train approaching a station using the catchphrase "eskew" in fear of not getting off. More than a handful of times have I had to inform the space intruder that I am also alighting. They join queues for free newspapers for fear of not getting one. They chope seats for fear of not finding one. These types of behaviour could be forgiven if the risk of losing out was real. Although Singapore is the world's second most populated country (after Monaco), the worry associated with there 'not being enough to go round' is ill-founded. Singaporeans appear to forget that they live in a highly developed society where trains don't just pull out with passengers hanging on (as in India), where free newspapers don't run out (as in London) and where there are enough seats for everyone.

Edge - The lack of it. "Low crime doesn't mean no crime" is the line imprinted on the minds of locals amongst whom fear-mongering is rife. Sadly, because many Singaporeans are afraid to leave the shores of this tiny island (even Malaysia is "dangerous"), they will never really know just how lucky they are. Of course, literally, "it's a jungle out there" but to concentrate so much on the idiomatic meaning is surely idiotic. From an outsider's point of view, life is so accessible, effortless, smooth, straightforward, uncomplicated (how many other words can I find in my thesaurus for "easy"?) here, that it's almost as if everyone has an imaginary shroud of cotton wool wrapped around them (standard government issue, of course). As one local famously stated: "Singapore is like a warm bath. You sink in, slit your wrists, your lifeblood floats away, but hey, it's warm." Having said that, things are changing: the proliferation of independent art galleries and bookshops, the growing relaxation of censorship at the cinema and the greater interest in independent fashion and design labels signify a small step towards a culture of "cool". It may yet be a little red dot in the distance, but it's there and only time will make it bigger.

Questions that remain as yet unanswered:

- Why are there so many French people in Singapore? We currently have more French friends and there are more French expat bloggers in Singapore than any other nationality.
- Why do some Singaporeans believe that changing the spelling of their name will be 'auspicious'? (Notable examples: Audrey - Alldri; Serene - Surryn)
- Why do so many Singaporean women wearing high heels walk as if they just got off a horse on a long ride into town?
- Why are flip flops called 'slippers'?

To celebrate our one year anniversary (and the large number of French friends that we had made), we journeyed out to Les Bouchons for a slap up meal of enormous steaks and unlimited fries washed down with a bottle of Bourgogne Rouge. Recommended.

In summary, it's been a blast. A whirlwind of a year, complete with awesome people, amazing experiences and a whole lot of fun, smiles and laughter. We were searching for 'a life less ordinary' when we left the shores of Great Britain. We found it and then some. Thank you, Sin City and all your cotton wool wrapped people. For now, we will continue to enjoy your warmth.

Asian Adventure 13 :: 31 Dec '09-3 Jan '10 :: Ko Lanta

2010-01-04T12:49:00.010Z

New Year's Eve began in Singapore and ended in Thailand this year. After a short hop to Phuket, we embarked on a four hour long journey by road and boat to Kantiang Bay at the southernmost end of Ko Lanta Yai. We arrived in time for a late lunch which would be the beginning of a string of excellent meals, Thai style.

Our companions had arrived a day earlier, so had scoped out Lanta Miami as a good place for a seafood BBQ on Klong Nin beach, a short cab ride from our hotel, Anda Lanta Resort.

Bliss

Cocktails whilst watching our first sunset preceded our journey up and down the dusty track leading away from our hotel towards the (arguably) posher paved parts of the southern beach roads. As we rocked out in our cab to Michael Jackson, little did we know that we would be taking bus number 11 (a.k.a. w.a.l.k.i.n.g) all the way back to base in the wee hours of New Year's Day.

Following our seafood session, we were ideally positioned to take up a pew at the delightfully named Mong Bar, complete with a menu advertising tickets to the moon. Perfect. Four, please! Klong Nin turned out to be an excellent spot for bars with a range of tunes to suit many tastes including reggae, Thai cultural and house music to make your ears bleed. Included in the experience were fire dances performed by the bar staff; wild rocket launchers masquerading as fireworks; snake tequila shots and, of course, the ubiquitous (but you have to do it or you feel left out) paper lanterns.

Fire-bar-man

It just tasted like "mouldy tequila"

After grabbing two motorcycle taxis complete with sidecars to take us back to our hotel, we were treated to a most hair-raising ride to the edge of the paved road whereupon the drivers decided that their vehicles wouldn't survive the dusty track. Despite willing them to go on, inside all of us were the immediate memories of having to shift weight by re-positioning intermittently to ensure we didn't keel over into the Thai jungle, so we didn't protest too much. Thankfully, due to the brilliance of the moon that evening, our journey on foot was well-lit and passed without incidence of being attacked by monkeys, monitor lizards or just plain old falling over on the uneven road.

Thank you, Moon Shine

To congratulate ourselves on having made it back to our hotel alive, we skipped across the inlet to the neighbouring beach bar, complete with hammocks, good cocktails and a man called Sea who would become our favourite barman on the trip.

Bed at 4 a.m. on New Year's Day and breakfast at 9 a.m. was no mean feat, but well worth it. When else is it not sinful to have chicken stir-fry, fried rice, spaghetti bolognese and crinkle cut fries as your first meal of the day?

All food groups covered!

Some poolside lazying was essential before picking up our scooters for a day of exploring the island. With little traffic, we managed to cross to Lanta Old Town in half an hour, an experience marred only by the fact that the last stretch of road was more dusty than the back of a radiator, leaving us all caked in a fine layer of mud. Nevertheless, it was an enjoyable road trip and we passed many family shacks that gave us an idea of what it was like pre-resorts.

We visited the Drunken Sailors for an excellent lunch of green chicken curry and burgers with a side of "French fried" before heading back for more sunset action and cocktails. Spot a pattern emerging? We were thoroughly exhausted and opted for dinner at our hotel, which was superbly tasty (even if, like many places in Ko Lanta, the service was a little slow at times) followed by drinks in our favourite hammocks next door.

The second day of 2010 had been set aside for diving and massages. So, in that order, we were picked up early doors by Scubafish for a well-organised trip out to Ko Haa. Over our two dives, we saw plenty of fish but missed out on any turtles, which had always been a feature of previous dives. On arrival back at basecamp, we decided to enter virgin territory and indulge in a sixty minute Thai massage. I can't say that I will be rushing to be pushed, pummeled and body-slammed during any future massages so may stick with something Swedish next time. Our evening was rounded off by a delicious meal at Same Same But Different, where we toasted a superb start to the year.

All in all, we thought Ko Lanta was an excellent place for a relaxing New Year, different from the raucous psy-trance raves that you might find on other islands with the same prefix. We were surprised and heartened (given the length of the journey from Krabi alone - 2 hours by road and speedboat) by the number of holidaying families complete with very miniature people and we all agreed it would be a lovely place to return with children. Our over-arching piece of advice: order the bill when you order your last drink. You won't live to regret it.

Eleventh month, 'tis the season to be rainy, tra la la la la la la la la

2009-12-15T08:14:00.011Z

This month, we have mostly been:

- Enjoying the advent of Christmas in Tiong Bahru.

Please note the complete absence of any season's greetings. The only signs around the base of the tree read: Danger - HIGH VOLTAGE. Nothing like a good bit of Christmas cheer!

- Experiencing life in deepest darkest China.

- Learning about an architectural wonder planned for 2010: Marina Bay Sands - two thousand five hundred rooms spread across three fifty-five storey towers topped by a magnificent 1.2 hectare Sky Park, employing more than ten thousand people and setting its sights as one of Asia's most iconic, spectacular, original and breathtaking venues. It is hoped the hotel will throw open its doors in April and the Sky Park will be ready for strolling, running, and kite-flying in June. Along with Universal Studios and Resorts World on Sentosa, Singapore's entertainment offerings are about to receive a much-welcome face lift in 2010. We can hardly wait.

- Booze Cruising in Singapore waters. Grab 99 of your favourite buddies, ask everyone to bring a bottle of their favourite poison and set sail from Marina South Pier aboard a diesel-powered vessel for the Singapore Straits.

Giving new meaning to the word "shots"

Add thumping tunes, pirate costumes, a vat of dangerous cocktail, super soakers filled with vodka, moor the boat off the Southern Islands and watch as young adults throw themselves in the water for an afternoon's alternative entertainment.

- Enjoying a quick hop to Auckland, New Zealand.

- Feeling Zouked Out. The tradition is to rent a hotel room in one of the Siloso beach resorts, start drinking at 4 pm and hope that you can still stand by the time any of the good DJs grace the stages (around 1 am). We, thankfully, were invited to substitute a delicious home-cooked Thai meal for the liquid dinner chosen by some of our friends and arrived on the beach around 2 am (after waiting in the longest traffic jam in the clubbing universe) in time to enjoy some drinks before the beginning of Richie Hawtin's set an hour later. Sadly, some of the hotel-goers didn't even manage to make it out of the rooms and on to the beach (a mere five minute walk).

Where are your friends now?

We had never seen so many train wrecks in Singapore, all gathered together in one large space, covered in sand, revelling in the fact that it was the one night of the year that the police turn a blind eye. Despite that, the atmosphere was electric and exploded when the main man of the night, Armin Van Buuren arrived to trance it up. At this point, being techno-lovers, we had to make our excuses and decided to embark on the one-and-a-half hour trek back to Harbourfront MRT. We watched the sunrise over the Universal Studios building site, admiring the twists and turns of the soon-to-be opened rollercoasters and were content that the moon was still smiling on us:

Next up is Christmas Day and all the trimmings, New Year in Thailand and our one year anniversary of being Sin City dwellers. Bring on the party season! Let the drinking games begin.

48 hours in Auckland :: 7-8 Dec'09

2009-12-09T05:35:00.004Z

Being sent on a business trip at the last minute to Auckland, New Zealand wasn't on my planned weekend agenda. And so with great difficulty, I hauled my brunch drunk mind to the airport after a six hour champagne-fueled session. Thankfully, I was travelling business class, so my position at the low-lit Krisflyer lounge bar sipping more champagne was not exactly a shock to the system. I was more alarmed that the first class lounge (I was sneaked in by my fellow frequent travellers) was not proportionately better than the business class lounge. Why was I not drinking out of a gold-plated goblet and being fed grapes?

Ten hours on a flat bed later, interrupted only by my next door neighbour laughing maniacally at his screen, we rolled into our waiting car and enjoyed the slow drive to the city centre through rows of two-storey houses and green fields. I won't lie: "more sheep than people" kept resonating through my mind.

On arrival at The Westin, I was pleasantly surprised to be welcomed to a hotel right on the quayside, overlooking a vast array of yachts, large and small. Still, though, Where Is Everybody?

After our meetings finished around 6 pm, we were astonished to find out that all shops, except for the supermarket and a pharmacy had closed. It was hard to come to terms with the grief at not having Singapore style late night shopping to keep us occupied, so we consoled ourselves with enormous steaks at Jervois Steak House & Saloon, washed down with some fine local wines before heading to the ONLY bar in Lighter Quay that had any kind of 'atmosphere' (a.k.a PEOPLE), Danny Doolans. Two guys with guitars belted out familiar tunes such as 'Brown-Eyed Girl' whilst we sipped whiskies and answered emails from colleagues working on Singapore business hours.

The next day, we were treated to a late start which allowed me to indulge my oyster fetish. Six of some of the largest and juiciest rock oysters slid down my neck before we were trapped in our meeting room until 7 pm. Given that it was our last night, however, and that the meetings had progressed well, we all headed off to the exquisite Kermadec at Viaduct Harbour, just a short stroll from our hotel.

As locally caught and freshly shucked oysters were a special on the menu, it seemed a crying shame not to indulge once more. They were different from any I had ever tasted before - hats off to Head Chef, Richard Highnam. To follow, I opted for the Confit Hapuku Fillet with asparagus étuvée, toasted wheat and scampi pilaf, baby sorrel, Cotriade stock, and one eye bouillabaisse. To finish, I had the simply titled but delectably complex, 'Rooibos Red Bush Tea and Caramel Custard', which was a divine selection of five different desserts in one. A delicious Rippon Valley Riesling from 2007 helped to oil the chatter cogs whilst I learned about the quiet life on North Island, New Zealand. Apparently, it's all about owning a boat.

In all, my forty-eight hours in Auckland was enjoyable, primarily because of the superb seafood, steak and ludicrously low-priced wine (by Singaporean standards). It was a good experience to be somewhere so serene that starkly contrasted with the hustle and bustle of Singapore life. The Kiwis have perfected the 'work to live' approach to life and with so much outdoor space per capita to enjoy, who can blame them?

Asian Adventure 12 :: 26-29 Nov '09 :: Kuala Lumpur and Yangshuo

2009-11-30T08:13:00.030Z

Another long weekend (Hari Raya Haji), another short break. This time, I went off alone to visit a friend who had been living in China for nine months, five of which had been in Yangshuo. To get there without spending a small fortune, I opted to go via Kuala Lumpur on Malaysia's popular low-cost carrier, Air Asia.

Whilst Air Asia flies out of Terminal 1 of Changi Airport, it flies in and out of Kuala Lumpur's dedicated budget terminal (also known as "Hell On Earth" - full of The Damned and all their children).

To kill the time between touching down at 7 pm and departing for Guilin at 6 am, I embarked on the one hour journey into the city (via dusty, smelly bus to the international terminal and super-sleek, looks-like-the-Heathrow-Express fast train) to meet with some friends at Leonardo's Dining Room and Wine Loft.

Flamin'

A few whiskies and some bright blue shots set on fire later, we journeyed off into the night to chow down on some excellent nasi lemak (coconut rice, beef rendang, ikan bilis, peanuts and extra chilli sauce served on a banana leaf - what's not to like at 3 am?) at a busy mamak stall. Then, off I was whisked in a taxi, slowly jolting in and out of consciousness as my driver sped towards the airport.

Arriving back in Hell, it seemed the population of The Damned had doubled. It was utter mayhem attempting to check-in whilst still mildly inebriated and lacking sleep. The Departure Hall was worse than the Arrivals, so it was with a great sigh that I found a suitably hard chair and spent my waiting time muttering about the loudness of the tannoy and the constant flow of imbeciles around me, seemingly travelling with their kitchen sinks and three generations of their families.

It was with pure joy that I stepped out into the cold air at Guilin airport at 10 am. It was the first time that I had seen my breath for a very long time, so I marvelled at that for a few seconds whilst I located the mini-bus that would take me into the city centre. Forty five minutes later, I de-wedged myself and hopped off the bus into the roaringly busy Friday morning traffic.

First stop after meeting my friend and another friend who was on a South East Asian tour, was the Seven Star Scenic Park where we lunched on bland dumplings and started the first of many sniggers at the beautiful command of English that appears on the majority of signs in China.

warm reminding you

Shortly after, we decided to ditch Guilin in favour of the more picturesque surroundings of Yangshuo so hopped on a local bus where I intermittently topped up my sleep credits between the loud honks of the bus horn and knocking my head against the window as we journeyed down the bumpy road.

On arrival in Yangshuo, I immediately sensed the calm and laid back atmosphere in stark contrast to the bustle of Guilin.

The man selling bamboo was having a nap in the street, sausages hung from windows slowly air-drying and the view across the Li River of the monoliths in the mist was breathtaking.

Bamboo man nap time

Monoliths in the mist

After admiring the view from my friend's flat and getting settled in to my home for the next 48 hours, we took a stroll to grab some food at a local eating house off Shen Shen Lu Road, opposite the Tai Chi school where for just six RMB (55 pence/S$1.20), we had our pick of raw ingredients which was stir-fried and served with rice. Simple, but delicious.

Roof terrace view - surrounded by beautiful mountains

Take your pick!

For our after-dinner stroll, we ambled around the most bustling part of Yangshuo, West Street (or to use its full name, "West Plaza hotel shopping food Walking Street") where we were greeted with stares and people wanting to take our photograph whilst we perused the selection of hundreds of trinkets you never knew you needed.

We shot some pool at MC Blues, pondered what could possibly be in a "Pakistan Sandwich" and relaxed in the roof top expat haven of Monkey Janes, complete with dedicated beer pong table, and snake surprise.

Any idea what's in a Pakistan Sandwich? Answers on a postcard. We were laughing too much to be able to ask.

Snake Surprise

The next day, we hired bikes and, after a hearty breakfast of dumplings next door to the "Simmer soup crock Museum", headed off on a circular tour along the Yu Long river. We stopped by the Outside Inn before heading to the Jiu Xian art house via lunchtime. In a falling down hamlet by the Yu Long river, we were led to our eating house with no menu and no other customers.

Sliced pork and potatoes in oyster sauce, fried egg and tomatoes and deep fried battered aubergine with steamed rice. Delicious and peaceful! (^_^)

Best name for a cat I ever heard: Chairman Miaow

After our post-lunch glow had worn off, we travelled along gravelly tracks and concrete roads and had a "Stand By Me" moment. We made up songs, we tried to whistle in tune, we had no map and it felt so good.

Whether it was the mountain surroundings, the air or just something my friend had put in my tea earlier, I can honestly say I was totally relaxed and my smile was a permanent fixture on my face. Then, we reached the ancient river crossing and I soon snapped out of 'free' mode to 'OK, I could actually fall in the water' mode. Clambering down the bank after negotiating our special price for foreigners, I know I leaned a little too hard on the old man about to 'sail' us across the river on his bamboo raft.

Aiii-yaaaaaugh

Once over the other side, we rewarded ourselves by having a terribly sophisticated coffee in a beautiful riverside house with this sign outside:

"You? Sorry, what? WTF?!"

As the mist was drawing in and the coffee had warmed our cheeks, we decided to get a shift on and hot-biked it back to the centre in time for the 7 pm watershed on our rental. Cold shower, no shave and a quick costume change and we were on course for a deliciously stodgy pizza meal, at Rock 'n' Grill, that would line our stomachs for the evening's entertainment: Sid's Birthday.

On the way to The Alley Bar, we passed by two types of stall found all over Yangshuo: The t-shirt shop and the grill stand.

Osama Bin Raden

The soft palate (l) and penis of a pig (r)... on a stick. Dessert, anyone?

We arrived to see the party in full swing and were in time for the ceremonious tune (I was saddened not to hear anyone singing along in Chinese, but hey, this is expat central). I hadn't envisaged being able to ride carefree through the mountains and then go out clubbing, especially before my flight the next morning, but I am easily led. Especially when on holiday. Thankfully, booming East End warehouse this wasn't. Any club containing a pole, funky teenagers and the odd man in his work suit is usually on the 'no-go' list for me, but I can honestly say it was fun taking photos.

Funky

Funky chicken?

Leaving some time around 3 am, we had time to reflect on the evening and the trip in a post-alcohol haze. There is a high turnover rate of expats in Yangshuo. Whether they are lost souls searching for something; running from something; or just hopping in because it's a rare Chinese 'safe haven' and hopping back out before heading onwards to Thailand, the expats are full of anecdotes to share. My over-arching feeling was that Yangshuo is probably one of the few places in China where they have balanced Westernisation with traditional culture. When I return in twenty years, I wonder if I will have changed my viewpoint.

Asian Adventure 11 :: 20-22 Nov'09 :: Jakarta

2009-11-23T07:38:00.002Z

For a crowd that is weary of the über squeaky clean and commercial offerings in Singapore, Jakarta offers a clubbing mecca that goes by the name of "Stadium".

Leaving on the late Air Asia flight on Friday, we missed much of the notorious traffic and arrived around 10 p.m. at our three bedroom (193 square metres) apartment fit for an emerging rock band, complete with glass table, over-sized television featuring Fashion TV, and a fridge full of enough mixers to make Mr. Pyotr Smirnov weep.

After lining our stomachs with vodka, we nipped out for a swift dinner of grilled beef and hit an atrocious bar full of undesirables. It was then time to enter our labyrinthine experience complete with intense aural pleasure and hundreds of sweaty clubbers being chilled by an over-zealous air-conditioning unit producing an atmosphere that was anything but "chilled". Stadium brought back fond memories of East London warehouse parties that can only be described as "gritty".

Putrid post-clubbing smell: check. Ming on shoes: check. Alcohol poisoning: almost.

Clubbed to Death rating: 8/10.

Tenth month, Boom Town

2009-11-15T09:49:00.005Z

This month, we have mostly been:

- Marveling at Tiong Bahru's offerings. Not only can one shop at the Tiong Bahru "Department Store" at the market (this is a unit of not more than 30 square metres akin to a Pound Shop in the UK, selling all manner of household items that you never knew you needed), but on disembarkation from the MRT each evening after work, one is greeted in the main square by the dulcet (read: ear-bleed inducing) tones of a local auntie, her soundsystem - complete with miniature karaoke screen - and a rotation of fellow aunties and uncles eager to help belt out Chinese ballads. Pure class.

- Learning the nuances of Singaporean cuisine. Sunrice Global Chef Academy offers an escorted tour of the Spice Garden at Fort Canning followed by a hands-on cooking class every weekend. We learned how to make an everyday sambal, seafood hor fun and bak kut teh. Overall, the experience gets a 10/10 from me - McDonald Eng, the teacher and walk leader, was very amusing ("This chilli is so hot, that it can ACTUALLY kill you") and informative. We learned plenty of secrets that I will be applying to my home cooking and we can now recognise a variety of spices in their pre-harvested form. Thoroughly recommend as an alternative Singapore experience, as long as you don't mind the 8 a.m. start on a Saturday morning. Hangover victims need not apply.

- Drinking wine and feeling fine at Speak Easy. In a hidden enclave between Outram Park and Tanjong Pagar lies a cluster of renovated Peranakan shophouses. Home to a discerning group of expats and locals, it is a charming area of narrow streets with the odd gallery (by appointment only) and trinket shop dotted about. Speak Easy is the perfect place to pull up a pew and watch the monsoon rains cascade around you with tasty glass of wine and a friend.

- Loving the choice at Ocean Curry Fish Head. Frequenting the Telok Ayer Street branch of this specialist local food chain would be utter joy were it not for the long queues and waits for available tables. Clearly, however, the longer the queue, the better the food, so it's totally worth the wait. Choose from having a fish head curry (watch your colleagues fight over the oversized eyeball) and supplement with an array of side dishes to ensure that you feel thoroughly engorged and can burp delicious gastronomic memories during a session of Friday afternoon clock-watching. Mmmmm.

- Drinking brandy at lunchtime. OK, it may be super diluted in deliciously smooth sliced fish noodle soup, but Holland Village XO actually names Courvoisier as the key ingredient. The brainchild of a former XO salesman has since branched out and offers city workers a delectable lunch that makes you feel just that tiniest bit naughty. Coupled with a side order of prawn paste chicken wings, what's not to like?

- Celebrating the Moon Cake festival. This year, the festival started on 3rd October, so I scooted down to Pagoda Street in Chinatown to pick up my double and quadruple (oh yes, ladies and gentlemen, more salted egg yolk than bean paste!) mooncakes. As a special treat to myself, I have been eating small wedges for breakfast. I blame the Singaporean in me.

- Shooting pistols at the poolside. My belated Singapore birthday party was hosted by a dear friend who lent us her condo poolside for the afternoon. I provided a whole roasted pig from Tiong Bahru Roasted Pig Specialist, which I highly recommend (although be aware that the golden piglet comes on a red plastic tray and not in a box, so you may want to get it delivered - our taxi driver thought we were two sandwiches short of a picnic to be carrying a hog as our luggage). My carving skills were tested to the max (they CAN cut it up for you, but I wanted the aesthetic of the whole piggy), however, nothing that my Global knives could not conquer. We spent the afternoon proving the fact that "growing old is compulsory; growing up is optional" (Enid Blyton).

- Raising the roof and bringing the house down. BluJaz played host to DJ Dash's first gig as part of the Digging Deep collective. The crowd loved the transcendence from melodic beats to sharp Berlin sounds and the night was such a roaring success that the next gig has already been booked for January. Music to tinkle your hammer, anvil and stirrup.

Next up are trips to Jakarta and Yangshuo, the infamous local one day rave (when (for 24 hours) the Singaporean police let you put your hands in the air, like you just don't care) and the advent of Christmas in the sun. Boom Town.

Asian Adventure 10 :: 16-19 Oct'09 :: Lombok and Gili Trawangan

2009-10-20T03:50:00.016+01:00

L is for laid-back, lavish and luscious in Lombok. We arrived in Bali and had a few hours to kill so headed for a delicious lunch at Biku. There's nothing quite like a fresh gazpacho sitting under a parasol in the searing heat of the Balinesian midday sun.

After returning from the up-and-coming Petitinget area, next up was to survive the challenging experience of Bali's domestic departures airport (complete with stinking, puddle-ridden squat toilets). It was in the poor man's version of the international departures airport (even the ice cream freezer was empty) that we decided that should we return to Lombok from Singapore, we would fly direct if at all possible. This would avoid the utter chaos of navigating the row of fledgling carriers operating ancient aircraft who seemingly share out customers between them. This causes queues, confusion, cancellations and a poor beginning and end to what otherwise is a thoroughly relaxing getaway in an idyllic sand and surf location.

It is hard to imagine that our choice of accommodation could be surpassed in the setting, service and gastronomy categories. Qunci Villas offered us an ocean view poolside villa complete with an exquisitely comfortable king-size bed and breakfast served on our spacious balcony.

View by night

In the evenings, we dined al fresco listening to the sound of the waves lapping gently at the white sand shore lit with over-sized spotlights for night-time swimming.

By day, we lazed in and by the infinity pool looking forward to Happy Hour cocktails from 4 - 7 p.m. to accompany sundown. I interspersed my reading and relaxing one day with a one hour session of being covered in a chocolate and coffee bean paste which exfoliated my sun-kissed skin and made me smell good enough to eat.

We also took two trips out to Gili Trawangan - one for exploration and one for diving with Dream Divers. The island is very small and easily navigable by horse and cart, bicycle or on foot. Once a day, the boat docks from Bali bringing a sudden influx of backpack clad Westerners clutching travel-beaten guide books in search of accommodation. We watched the world go by sipping jaw-clenchingly sweet Lombok coffee and speaking to a local glass-bottomed boat owner who marvelled at the increase in the number of Westerners who had, over the last twenty years, chosen Gili Trawangan as their home. You could tell that he was undecided on the change.

Wooden cart + horse + tractor tyres = Lombok taxi

Diving at the Coral Fan Garden and Basket Coral Garden was a real treat. A green turtle graciously swam by, schools of fusiliers were suspended in the currents along with pipe fish and of course, our favourite clown fish nestled and played in the brightly coloured anemones.

As there is little in the way of "nightlife" in Lombok, this allows for the ultimate in relaxation. There really is nothing wrong with slipping beneath the bedsheets at 9 p.m. after a hard day's chillaxing, so it is thoroughly recommended for couples and families with young children. For the thrill-seeking among you, there's still always the lure of careering round steep mountain bends on roads lit only by the bulbs of the ubiquitous street-side stalls (just jump in any taxi after sundown) or the challenge of climbing Mount Rinjani. Verdict: Lombok rocks.

Ninth month, shambolicus vs. phenomenal

2009-10-15T10:42:00.005+01:00

This month, the experiences have been at opposite ends of the life spectrum. You want the good news or the bad news first?

THE GOOD

- Living on the edge in Asia's most unique city: T.O.K.Y.O.

- Going gold shopping at the infamous Poh Heng in the morning, lunching on scrumptious dumplings at the acclaimed Wah Lok (Carlton Hotel) and checking in to a two-level suite at the Fullerton Hotel in the afternoon: delectable canapes and cocktails, a delicious seafood buffet, and a champagne breakfast, served in exquisitely plush surroundings by people who take real pride in their jobs. An outstanding experience for a once in a lifetime thirtieth birthday treat.

- Thoroughly enjoying "Spot The Difference" at my colleague's wedding. Aside from the well-known dress changes and endless "yam seng's" common at a Chinese wedding, this one also came complete with a fifteen minute photo montage showing the happy couple's path to togetherness right from baby photos all the way to the pre-wedding shots taken at prime locations around Singapore. The best part, however, was the cutting of the fake cake and the ceremonious pouring of champagne down a tower of glasses. Yes, you guessed it - no cake nor a drop of champagne was served. Apparently, the couple cut into a plasticine section of an otherwise plastic cake and the champers - well, that's just for show. My fellow table mates were asking me how Chinese weddings differ from English weddings. I honestly did not know where to begin. Fundamentally, Chinese weddings are all about: family, ceremony and food (an eight course meal eaten at great speed). English weddings are about: the speeches, drinking and dancing like there's no one watching. The fact that the best man couldn't even be heard over the cacophony of chattering voices was something that would never ever happen at an English wedding. Seeing your drunk uncle parading around with his tie wrapped around his head like Rambo is something that would never ever happen at a Chinese wedding. I am hoping our wedding falls somewhere in between...

- Attending the most unique and "edgy" party since arriving in Sin City. Blackmarket selects threads from hip independent fashion labels from around the world for the in-the-know kids in Singapore. Located near the uber-trendy Haji Lane, the founders invited DJs TWOFACE to play in a space without walls right on the street. Revellers enjoyed the free vodka cocktails and coveted sunglasses from the Mystic Vintage collection that was launched that evening. Inside, we learned that each of the Orangina bottles hanging precariously from the ceiling had been consumed by the founders. Dedication to the cause. Respect.

DJs TWOFACE

THE BAD

- Lamenting the shockingly poor service that Singapore Inc. has a strong tendency to offer to its bar, restaurant and taxi clientele. Not only is it 'normal' for there to be only one trained (and trusted) cashier behind a ten barman strong bar, but the high proportion of migrant workers staffing the restaurants also means that there are often communication issues when ordering. On top of that is the frequently unreal cluelessness of taxi drivers. I already lamented this topic in month seven, and have sadly continued to experience irritating journeys during which I am not left to enjoy the ride but to act as back seat driver and teach the driver where to go. Having said that, out of bad often comes good: A Singapore Taxi Driver's Diary is a joy to read and covers the story from the perspective of an over-educated driver. Eloquently written short stories uncover the harsh economics of the job as well as the good, the bad and the evil citizens who happen to catch a ride with Mingjie Cai. I have since taken to tipping those drivers who deposit me at my destination without driving like a lost vehicle at the fairground dodgems.

As you can see, thankfully, the good is still outweighing the bad. I am managing to keep my Angry Ang Mo at bay. Coming up is a long weekend in Lombok, a roasted pig party hosted by Yours Truly, and the horrors of Halloween...

Asian Adventure 9 :: 18-28 Sep'09 :: Niigata and Tokyo, Japan

2009-09-29T10:38:00.010+01:00

After meeting up with a friend who had travelled over to meet us from London at his well-chosen one night abode, the Park Hyatt (of Lost in Translation fame), we headed for the bullet train to Echigo-Yuzawa, our home for the next four days, hidden in the depths of Niigata Prefecture. We entered as virgins into The Land of the Rising Techno and exited as true Labyrinth converts to this most fantastic of festival experiences.

We indulged ourselves with a post-festival one night stay in the mountains at Inamoto Ryokan complete with two 100% natural hot spring water onsen to cure our 'clubbed to death' zombie-like state. A delicious meal of yakiniku preceded our slow ease into the plump futons which had been laid out for us by our room attendants. The silence after four days of electronic music from a Funktion One soundsystem was deafening. The next morning, our hearty breakfast of six different Japanese delights including grilled fish, pickles, broiled vegetables and, of course, the 'love it or hate it' natto (silent barf), fueled our next adventure - back to Tokyo, via the temple-lover's paradise, Nikko.

If time is short and culture by way of temples is sought, Nikko is one of the best complexes in Japan. Easily navigable within three hours and set amongst trees far older than the generations you can remember in your family, it is reached by a specially designated line from Utsonomiya station - a local 'world heritage bus' will take you to the site.

Minds bursting with stories of spirited away historic people in ancient times, we headed for our final destination: the bright lights of Tokyo. Checking in to the superbly located Sakura Fleur (reservations here), we were reunited with our bags in which we had left unessential festival items five days previously. It was kind enough for the hotel not to have charged us for doing the same but even better that our luggage had already been placed in our rooms. Service in Japan is second to none and like a breath of fresh doublemint after a meal of burger and onion rings when compared to Singapore.

Overcome with tiredness from covering the entire temple complex, we headed for an early dinner at Bistro 35 steps (at level B1 of Shibuya City Hotel) where the highlight was mackerel 'a la blow-torch' perfectly singed at our table. As we had decided to head to Tsukiji to see the tuna auction at 6 a.m., we retired early for some deep sea dreaming.

Being rudely awakened at 4:45 a.m. with the prospect of heading to a huge, busy and bustling marketplace stinking of fish, it was hard to focus our fuzzy heads on the journey ahead. Although just turning light when we stumbled outside, Tokyo life was slowly stirring. Salarymen, school children and a number of older generation Tokyo-ites were going about their daily lives intermingled with a handful of tourists clearly heading to our destination. On arrival, we followed the mix of locals and foreigners and headed deep into the heart of the market, dodging the speeding motorised fish carts, to the auction place. A low hub-bub of voices discussing quantity, cost and flavour floated above rows and rows of frozen tuna, some twice the size of the men peering over them.

When you are used to eating tinned tuna, the actual size of each fish is astounding.

The auction itself was not dissimilar how one could imagine watching the climax of an aquatic episode of Bargain Hunt, in Japanese. We left after about fifteen minutes to explore the rest of the market that we had earlier rushed past in a blind panic lest we be tardy for the auction. Our eyes feasted on row upon row of fresher than fresh sea creatures, some a few hours dead and others on death row. Soon, it was time for our breakfast. I can't say I've had a better morning snack in Asia:

Bellies full, we headed for the waterfront (via the Dentsu Building to ride in my favourite glass lift to the 46th floor) and enjoyed a wallet-punchingly delicious pot of coffee at The Intercontinental Tokyo Bay before journeying up the Sumida River to Asakusa. Along the way, we noted that Tommy Lee Jones was enjoying a nice pocket-filler advertising BOSS coffee in Japan.

I wasn't surprised - when I was living in Japan in 2002, David Beckham was advertising chocolate:

For real.

After a stroll round Asakusa, we decided to head to the Ryōgoku Kokugikan to take in a few bouts of sumo. In the ensuing four hours, we tasted chankonabe and winced and clapped our way through the afternoon whilst super-sized men gave each other a good slap. As we were there early, we joined in with the local custom to sit in higher priced empty seats and were lucky enough not to be disturbed by the true seat-holders until five minutes before we had decided to leave. Watching my hero, the current yokozuna, Mongolian Asashoryu enter the ring from the aisle made my day. Getting back to our hotel in time to watch him on television deftly flick his opponent out of the ring was even better.

A swift couple of aperitifs in Shibuya's Nombeiyokocho "Drunkard's Alley" (a small row of bars sitting up to ten people hidden underneath the railway tracks) led us into our evening meal which was hosted by my dear Japanese friend, Rie. She led us through the backstreets of Shibuya, up Love Hotel Hill and onto our waiting table at Ondoru topped with a skillet on which we seared morsel after morsel of delectable Iberico pork.

Post-dinner entertainment was provided by another dear friend and DJ, Dave Twomey, who whisked us away to Nishi-Azabu where he and Marcel Fengler whipped up a techno storm.

A late start the following day meant that we arrived in Shimokitazawa, my favourite of Tokyo's suburbs, in time for lunch and a coffee at Free Factory. We pounded each alley, nook and cranny for trendy threads and lost ourselves in laughter at Village Vanguard. An overdose of shopping prepared us for the evening's gastronomic journey, beginning at Omoide Yokocho "Piss Alley" (a row of yakitori places sitting about 15 people beneath another set of railway tracks, this time in Shinjuku). From there, we journeyed deep in to the sleepless streets of Kabukichō to a place with no signboard. Inside Bungo Murase works tirelessly to produce some of the best nihon ryōri (plump and fresh sashimi, grilled pacific saury (sanma), punishingly strong wasabi rolls, and a smoothly delicious namboko mushroom miso soup). The number is 03-3207-6165 and his email is uoshin.bungo[at]docomo.ne.jp. If you can find it, you won't regret it. We rounded off the evening with some late night glasses of wine at Bar Beret, one of the themed bars hiding in the backstreets of Shibuya off Roppongi-dori.

Another late start meant breakfast was bypassed in favour of lunch. Today was the designated mega-shopping day so we stocked up on the essential uber-energy meal of curry hamburgers - not your usual American style burger but an enormous meat pattie stewed in Japanese curry sauce, doused with melted cheese. Heart attack on a plate. Awesome. We took in the whole of Shibuya's shopping delights whilst making our way slowly to Harajuku's infamous Takeshita-dori, which (of course, for a Saturday) was packed to the rafters with equally trend-seeking people. All that required a sit down in the beautiful Yoyogi Park with a nice can of cold Chu-Hi before preparing ourselves for the evening's entertainment. That turned out to be a SURPRISE! party for my birthday, organised by my friend and shared with two others. We played "How Many People Can You Fit On a Rooftop Bar in Tokyo?" and partied like sardines on holiday in a matchbox. Brilliant. After one too many dirty birthday drinks, we headed to Legato which was hosting Exit The Labyrinth. It was far too packed and hot for my inebriated mind and body to cope with so we left early at 3:30 a.m., sadly lacking the ambition to travel to Ageha to watch the sunrise. Next time...

Amazingly, we managed six plates of sushi for brunch the next day (turning Japanese after only 7 days...) and went on a final culture push to see the Cosplay girls, Tokyo Rockabillies, Yasukuni Shrine and the Imperial Palace East Gardens, where we paid our respects to the Emperor by having a little nap on his finely manicured lawn. For the Last Supper, we journeyed back to my darling Shimokitazawa for a slap up meal at a restaurant (Tobu Sakana) whose owners also have a stall at Tsukiji. Of course, again, we would never have found it nor been able to read the menu without my dear friend, Rie, who took us on yet another tour of gastronomic wonderment. We fitted in a photo session at the famous Shibuya crossing on the way home before slipping between our Japanese sheets for the last time:

Being a firm believer in the delicate balancing scales of life, I was able to deal with the fact that we were foiled at the last hurdle by having had far too much fun in the preceding days. Our attempt to depart for the airport was hampered by the fact that trains to Narita from Shinjuku do not leave as regularly as they do from Tokyo station. After ditching our attempt to board the train to Tokyo station at rush hour (and thereby witnessing the men employed to push people on to trains), we hailed a taxi and pretended we were handing over Monopoly money. Transfer time: 1 hour. Cost: GBP3 per minute. Go figure. At least we didn't have to go through this:

As you can tell by the length of this post, I am thoroughly, whole-heartedly, 110% in love with Japan. If I could move to Tokyo tomorrow, I would. It is one of the most contemporary yet traditional, ostentatious yet mysterious cities in the world. It is truly unique and I never fail to feel humbled by its people who demonstrate unending friendliness, generosity and kindness to strangers. Having a local friend or guide is essential to show you those parts that remain hidden to foreign visitors, lest you end up always having to visit places with an English menu that have made it in to Time Out. If it's culture shock and awe that you're looking for, Japan is the country for you.

Eighth month, burning man

2009-09-15T03:03:00.006+01:00

This month, we have mostly been:

- Watching Tiong Bahru burn. It has been Hungry Ghost month and many of the local residents have been out burning fake money, gold, expensive shoes and wristwatches - you know, all those essential items you might be missing as you float around the spirit world. I have been routinely surprised at the offerings left out, each night increasingly elaborate. A whole roasted duck and enormous slab of (my favourite) crispy roasted pork were laid out one evening. I can't tell you how much I had to fend off the devil of temptation inviting me to pluck a couple of pieces and pop them in my mouth. The icing on the hungry ghost cake was an inordinately loud concert (getai) with an overactive smoke machine that at one point clouded the entire stage and its performers. Due to being lost in translation, we didn't stay long.

- Checking out the forgotten malls of Singapore. People's Park, Peninsula Plaza and the Golden Mile Complex house specialist shops should you be in the market for electrical components, cables and camping equipment respectively, as long as you don't mind a pungent smell of disinfected toilet, a grime covered floor and shops that time forgot. Contrasting sharply with the intriguingly named 'had its own special 'shopping' scent designed for it', "ION", these malls are full of charm - where else can you visit the 'Ministry of Clothing', 'Lady Dress Making' and 'Jumbo Jeans'? They are however, unfortunately, existing on borrowed time.

- Enjoying the newly opened bar in Tiong Bahru. Finally, a bar in Tiong Bahru that is not serving the most disgustingly wood (yes, wood not oak) flavoured wine to the 'tunes' of psy-trance. Hotel Nostalgia's bar offers reasonably priced wine that is eminently quaffable. Friendly and inviting bar staff and peanuts served on a plate (!) top off the low lit ambiance. The only unfortunate circumstance is the proximity of the busy Tiong Bahru Road. Even on a weekday evening, the buses roaring past or (worse) stopped at the traffic lights can put a dampener on an otherwise romantic conversation. Food portions could be up-sized a little given the high prices in an area famous for $3 noodles but it's still our new favourite local watering hole.

- Marvelling at the many uses for one long finger nail. Why do some Chinese men have all nails short bar the little finger nail? Is it for distance nose picking, ear digging, tooth picking or head scratching? Is it a sign of one's male prowess? In fact, the story goes that it is a sign of power or riches. Labourers working in a field couldn't possibly grow long finger nails, you see. Perhaps I shall write to Richard Branson and see if he's keen to try some Asian cultivation.

- Slurping the local steamboats. At Tin Yi Gang Shi Huo and Le Le Pot on Seng Poh Road as well as Ting Heng on Tiong Poh Road, a boiling pot of tasty broth is placed on your tabletop burner and a huge array of raw meats, seafood and vegetables is brought out. The order of the day is 'cook your own' but if you ever come out with me, keep an eye on your prawns. I have a tendency to 'borrow'. At the end of the meal, the broth has entered the 'uber-tasty' realm and noodles are thrown in as a last round for those who have the stomach space remaining.

- Raving it up in Rawa.

Next up is my 30th birthday extravaganza in Japan (where we shall be entering The Labyrinth) and a Chinese wedding as well as hanging out with my Singaporean cousin who will be visiting from the windy city of Chicago. Rock and roll.

Asian Adventure 8 :: 12-13 Sep '09 :: Pulau Rawa, Malaysia

2009-09-14T11:16:00.003+01:00

Raise your body from its slumbering state at 4:00 a.m. (or stay up from clubbing the night before) and convene in a low lit condo twenty minutes from your house. Electronic music welcomes you along with the tired but smiling faces of your party accomplices. Pile on to the waiting bus and drive at full pelt to the Singapore-Malaysia border. Disembark to leave Singapore and again to enter Malaysia and later wonder how you managed it in such zombiefied state. Arrive at Mersing jetty, realise the sun has come up and take a speedboat to paradise:

Alang's Rawa - (+60)143232952

Spend Saturday chillaxing, snorkeling, and eating scrumptious seafood. Prepare yourself for the evening's entertainment:

Hang from the rafters and dance like no one's watching... until you pass out

Lie in on Sunday, go rock climbing in the afternoon and do the journey in reverse from 5 p.m. Arrive back home in time to read a few civilised chapters before bed.

I can't think of a better way to escape Singapore - beautiful place, people and pumping tunes. I am a definite Rawa convert.

Asian Adventure 7 :: 28-30 Aug '09 :: Nusa Lembongan (Bali), Indonesia

2009-09-01T08:58:00.005+01:00

What better excuse for yet another weekend escapade than three good friends from the UK passing through Bali. With another hop, skip and an early afternoon jump from work, we arrived in Sanur in time for a few beers before bedtime. Up with the larks in the morning, we took the boat to Nusa Lembongan where we would be stationed away from the hub-bub of the touring masses on the mainland.

After dropping luggage at our 'retreat', we wandered down the beach in search of a quick and easy brunch before renting scooters to explore the island. Given that none of us had a scooter licence (and all but one of the five had never ridden before), we each had to pass the basic test set by the owners: ride down the dusty lane 25 metres, turn, and ride back without falling off, crashing into the wall or injuring any of the chickens. We got three out of five and paid for two drivers to accompany the others (complete with running commentary of the local economy and sights in broken English). There is a seaweed micro-industry feeding the global cosmetics industry but the main money spinner is tourism from running hotels, bars, diving/snorkeling trips and of course, scooter rental (with a little bit of cock-fighting on the side). Total cost for five scooters and two informative drivers - just 450,000 Indonesian rupiah (US$45) for half a day. Bargain.

Jungut Batu Beach

Journeying along secluded tracks towards the suspension bridge connecting the sparsely inhabited Nusa Ceningan, our pot-hole avoidance skills were tested to the max. Made of yellow painted 'Scunthorpe' metal and weathered wooden planks, some of which could have easily swallowed my foot, the bridge easily rocked and swayed during my brief attempts to test its 'suspension'. Next stop was the legendary Gala Gala Underground House, a series of cosy rooms, which add a new dimension to claustrophobic living, fashioned by a man called Made Byasa using only a hammer and chisel. Our final stop was Dream Beach where we were left by our drivers to chill, jump the waves, and chew the fat about, you know, life. (What else is there to do on a semi-deserted beach?). After accidentally loading my bikini with enough sand to create a man-made beach back in Tiong Bahru, it was time to journey back. Our drivers re-appeared through the powers of mobile communication and we were safely deposited back at base in time to head out to dinner.

The Suspension Bridge

Kitchen at the Underground House

Slumber time was cancelled by the cockerels and chickens at 6 a.m., followed by people beating carpets and hammering their wooden huts, dogs and finally wood pigeons that joined the morning chorus. Nusa Lembongan should come with a government sleep warning: EAR PLUGS ESSENTIAL. Thankfully, after a hearty breakfast, we were feeling human enough to join the creatures down below so we headed off for a few hours of snorkeling. Our trip encompassed an area just off the mangroves and then Gamut Bay on Nusa Penida. With the visibility stretching over 30 metres, the experience resembled how one could imagine being miniaturised and dropped into an aquarium at the local pet shop - no turtles or sharks, but a plethora of bright colours darting all around to the soothing sound of the delicate corals being kissed by the ocean.

Watching the sun go down

Gastro highlights:
Linda's Bungalows and Restaurant (Jungut Batu beach, Nusa Lembongan) - sumptuous Asian fusion (sweet chilli, avocado and cheese toasts) items alongside well-prepared and delicious standard Western offerings. They advertise themselves with the slogan "Still the best food on Nusa Lembongan". If it's good quality and budget friendly you're looking for, 100% agree.

Living Room (Seminyak, Bali) - an exquisite Sunday dinner before heading back to Singapore, which cost (for four of us including drinks) approximately 2.5 million Indonesian rupiah - more than we had spent on the entire weekend's activities from Friday through Sunday. Oops. Saying goodbye to dear friends over a scrumptious splurge is clearly the way forward.

Seventh month, Asian 'summer'

2009-08-15T15:08:00.018+01:00

This month, we have mostly been enjoying our Asian 'summer' holidays. Whilst the tropical seasons speak of 'dry' or 'wet', international companies remain affected by the temperate seasons such that the end of June, July, August and the beginning of September are relatively quiet times. So, we have been taking full advantage and enjoying ourselves to the max:

- Living it up in London (and realising how much we love our lives in Sin City).

- Banging around Bangkok.

- Kicking back in Kota Kinabalu.

- Fully embracing the new nightclub, Stereolab. With a music policy focused on good quality international house DJs and a custom built soundsystem that offers an all-encompassing musical hug, it's possible that the brains behind Cafe Hacienda at Dempsey have got another 'full house'. It is the first club in Singapore to host a DJ from an international record label to perform weekly and with a capacity of only 300, is the perfect size for little red dot clubbing.

Dennis Ferrer gets a bead on boogeying to his beats

- Continuing to enjoy the delicate nuances of Singlish:

In other news, here are some 'slow burn' items:

- Taxi drivers. Lately, we have been subjected to some really 'goondu' taxi drivers. Granted, taxis in Singapore are far cheaper than in London and it is rather fun bouncing around on the super springy seats. It is less fun when after clearly enunciating your destination, you hear the dreaded words: "You teach me; I dun no". On a world map, Singapore can be covered by a chunky choc chip cookie crumb. It is quite beyond me how the taxi drivers are unfamiliar with roads and routes. One particular 'missed-my-calling-as-a-bin-man' taxi driver had to be directed between Tiong Bahru and Dhoby Ghaut - a journey of approximately 4.5 km (2.8 miles). Next time, I'll just offer to take the keys and self-drive to my destination.

- Acronyms. So as not to lose out on too much speaking time, Singaporeans have a love of shortening. I am all for avoiding long-winded speech, but too many acronyms spoil society's broth and make the basic understanding of how stuff works largely impenetrable to the uninitiated. For example,

"When I am not taking the MRT, I enjoy travelling on the PIE, ECP, AYE and CTE but I have to pay the ERP to my taxi driver uncle from the HDB heartlands."

Say what? It cheers me that the top dogs at Talking Cock have come up with new meanings for all these acronyms; my personal favourite being 'Single, Desperate and Ugly' for SDU (the government matchmaking organisation "on a mission of promoting marriage among singles and inculcating positive attitudes towards marriage among all singles in Singapore"). Good luck with that.

- Track rage on the MRT.

A Happy Journey Starts Like That!

Despite the overhead monitors blaring out Phua Chu Kang ("PCK")'s 'yoof' education video on constant repeat and each station itself being adorned with the corresponding "Don't Play Play, Let Me Come Out First" posters, I actually find the most irritating members of the travelling public are the 'aunties'. Their particularly dismaying rush-hour habits include:

1. Boarding before others have disembarked;
2. Boarding, taking two steps and turning round to secure their spot near the doors;
3. Shuffling their way to the front in a packed train to ensure that they disembark first;
4. Placing their whole handbag on the EZ-link card reader in the vain hope that it will locate their card in the depths of their bag and then looking surprised when it doesn't work; and
5. Slowly pausing to check their card balance when they are aware of the hordes of other people also trying to exit that lane.

A new advertising campaign needs to target those five specific behaviours with less rapping and chastising of young people, and more public humiliation of the aunties and uncles of Sin City. I would happily star as the MRT Grim Reaper. Death to all those who stand in my way.

To round off the 'summer', we have another weekend in Bali (this time, Nusa Lembongan), a party on Rawa, my 30th birthday in Tokyo, and then Lombok and Koh Phangan before the New Year (which will also likely be spent on some Asian escapade outside of this fair isle).

We have been advised by friends who have been here for some time that Singapore is nothing short of a nightmare (not dissimilar to central London) at the end of year celebrations - bars and clubs packed to the rafters, impossible to get a drink and facing the strong possibility of having to sleep in the flower bed of Old Parliament House due to lack of a homeward bound taxi. Nice.

Asian Adventure 6 :: 6-13 Aug '09 :: Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia

2009-08-14T15:37:00.019+01:00

Arriving at midday in KK, we were surprised to see the streets and sky laced with a smokey haze, somewhat reminiscent of the fog that persistently shrouds Hong Kong and Shanghai. Was Borneo similarly polluted?

We settled in at our budget hotel and looked forward to obtaining our shameless wet suit tans whilst learning how to dive.

KK was noticeably sleepy with a handful of locals sitting outside the dusty Filipino market area, each with no more than a few armfuls of fruits (rambutans, mangosteen and durians) laid out for sale. No economies of scale here - just sell as much as you can pick.

A few steps further on from the fruit sellers were the all-male sewing machinists. Mending a full range of clothing and any leather accessories, I couldn't help but marvel at this reversal of the Western stereotypical mother ready to darn your socks and patch your jeans.

Staminate sewers

The next morning, after a breakfast of fried bee hoon and ring-stingingly hot sambal chilli squid alongside the usual bread and jam offerings, we were picked up by our dive school, Down Below, to begin our journey to Pulau Gaya in the Tunku Abdul Rahman Park.

We soon found out from our instructors that the hazy atmosphere was being caused by forest fires in Indonesia, the smoke from which had blown across to Borneo and was creating a mystical cloudiness surrounding its neighbouring islands. Added to this, the weather had not been ideal of late which made for murky waters due to the fine sands being disrupted by the rough seas. "Great," I thought, "just what we need."

Over the three day PADI course (with integrated e-learning), I believe I swallowed a substantial amount of the Park's waters during the mask removal training. I hope they don't subsequently find a drop in local sea levels. Having had a serious sense of humour failure on the second day when I found that I hadn't really mastered the mask removal task whilst ten metres below (which caused numerous bouts of aforementioned sea swallowing), I got my act together for the final day and passed with flying colours. I must say, I have to thank Calvinn, the cheese-loving Malaysian Chinese dude who's taking time off from five years spent as a software engineer to teach novices like me how to survive underwater. If I could raise a flipper to him, I would.

Calvinn - he shivers if the water is less than 25 degrees Celsius

We booked a final day's 'fun dive' at North Sulug whereupon we discovered a blue-spotted stingray; Nemo and a number of his friends; and - the pièce de résistance - a hawksbill turtle gently grazing at twelve metres.

Our other adventure in KK was to the Klias Wetlands to visit the Monkey Tops Safari Eco Lodge where we saw proboscis monkeys, monitor lizards and fire flies all hanging out and doing their thing. Our tour was dominated by Japanese and Chinese tourists so it wasn't long before we spied a t-shirt with a typically poorly expressed English slogan: "have a terrific Sensibility" (sic). What does that MEAN?

Can you spy the tree-swinging Nasosus Machedonus?

Eating highlights were (from extortionate to dirt cheap):

- Coast at the Shangri-La Rasa Ria Resort: If you have a special occasion to mark, book a private gazebo here. It is a 40 minute (90 ringgit) taxi ride from the centre of KK, but your delectable menu starts with a champagne cocktail watching the sun set, and comes complete with your own iPod dock filled with suitably chillaxing music, a live acoustic guitarist for a couple of tunes, and half a dozen red roses surreptitiously thrust into the hands of your beau as he returns from the wash room by your private butler, Cuthbert. For real.

A little slice of Heaven on Earth

- Nishiki: Never seen such thick slices of sashimi in my life (and I've lived in Japan). Great food, huge portions (we definitely over-ordered) and mid-range prices to be expected with good quality Japanese food in deepest darkest Malaysia.

- Bella Italia at the Jesselton Hotel: Served up delicious pizzas and pastas for knock-down prices complete with lashings of eminently quaffable wine - a rarity in this region.

- Kohinoor: An Indian gem amongst a number of sub-standard outlets along the Waterfront serving up all your usual favourites to satisfy any longstanding British love affair with their adopted national dish.

- Wisma Merdeka Food Court (Phase 1, 2nd Floor, Wisma Merdeka Shopping Centre) was a god-send for lunches and dinners when we needed a simple Asian meal powered by air-conditioning.

- Filipino Night Market: Famed for being one of the best night markets in Malaysia, the stalls serving an array of freshly barbecued prawns, fish, crab and squid certainly lived up to their reputation. For a meal for two, including rice and excellent fresh chilli sauce, the fine was just 70 ringgit. Thank goodness there was no extra charge for tissue papers. It was by far the hottest and most sweaty meal that we had ever eaten (and we are used to eating in 30 degree heat!). The fact that everything still tasted so good and we stayed until we had finished every last morsel is testament to the excellence of the explosion that tickled our taste buds.

Largest prawns. Ever. Fact.

As a novice dive spot specialising in macro life (the small stuff), KK was a good place to base ourselves. Now that we have our passport to the seas, we plan to get in a few dives where we can around Indonesia before facing the challenges and adventures of Sipadan, often noted as one of the world's best dive sites. Strap on your Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus and we'll see you down below!

Asian Adventure 5 :: 31 Jul - 2 Aug '09 :: Bangkok, Thailand

2009-08-03T07:39:00.003+01:00

Making use of the thoroughly amenable flight times and using up some Krisflyer Miles, we headed out for a weekend in Bangkok to meet up with friends at the end of their two week honeymoon traversing Thailand. A collection of impressions:

- People in Bangkok have a 'do it until you're told not to' attitude. All three lanes of the motorway entering the city were jam-packed on arrival at 8 pm on a Friday night, even the hard shoulder. Only when a police car attempts to cut through the traffic are people alerted to move off the hard shoulder, something which causes further gridlocked chaos. The long-awaited Skytrain extension which will connect the city with the airport will, no doubt, ease this arrival congestion.

- People in Bangkok are never more than 10 paces away from something edible. This is enabled via the inordinate variety of items categorised by locals as 'food'; items which would not necessarily be considered in the same light by other cultures - soft shell turtles, toads, grasshoppers, grubs and bugs. It's all about the dipping sauce. Clearly.

Deep fried soft shell turtle with chilli sauce, anyone?

For more mainstream eateries, we headed to Arun Residence for a delectable riverside Thai feast overlooking Wat Arun (how did they ascend and descend back in the day without the modern handrails?!); and Tapas Cafe for a delicious selection of Spanish morsels.

- Ping pong is not only a bat and ball sport. When I was last in Bangkok, eighteen years previous, Patpong was all about pole dancing. I recall as a wide-eyed eleven year old pretending to study the fake handbags furiously whilst occasionally glimpsing over my shoulder to spy the pole dancers through the red doors held ajar by heavily makeup clad 'mama-sans'. Now, the touts tend to be vertically challenged super-tanned slicked back geezers waving flyers in your face for 'Patpong Ping Pong' - a showcase of 'powerful pussies'. No miaowing allowed.

- The long boats on the Chao Phraya River are powered by suped-up old aircraft engines, which ensure a white knuckle waterborne ride. We heeded the advice of a fellow traveller and enjoyed the journey with our mouths firmly held shut to avoid ingesting any of the waterborne diseases lurking in the constant spray from the swell.

Pimp my power boat

- The thirty five acre plot that Chatuchak Market occupies offers upwards of 5,000 stalls, each of varying quality, along with a curious omnipresent mixed odour of drains, rotting fruit and delicious street food. It is a mecca for a range of individuals - from Western boutique owners who negotiate wholesale (read: dirtier than dirt-cheap) prices for original, often handmade, garments and also for those in the market for fashionably dressed baby rabbits:

"Excuse me, do you have any Burberry bunnies?"

- The Khao San Road has to be seen to be believed. Packed like sardines in a short street to the north west of the centre are scores of bars and clubs. The road glows with neon lighting and attracts mostly young international revellers there to drink and be/get drunk. It's no frills, plenty of spills, and no seeing and being seen. Despite this, we managed to locate a little piece of drunkard's paradise complete with a partially secluded beer garden and a two storey traditional Thai wooden house full of nooks, crannies and many of Bangkok's rich kids. (Hippie de Bar, 46 Khao San Road). It was a very welcome world away from the first bar that we tried at which the main formula was: lecherous lad + pretty Thai girl = "me love you long time"

Eighteen years ago, we journeyed around Bangkok mostly in vigourously haggled tuk-tuks. It was dirty, there were stray cats and dogs everywhere and there was a real danger of experiencing post-street food gastrointestinal disorders. Today, Bangkok is forging ahead with the sky train, swanky sky bars and saying "sawadee ka (/kup)" to the future. It's still chaotic, but it's an excellent place to enjoy some hedonistic havoc.

Back in Blighty :: 17-26 Jul '09

2009-07-23T23:25:00.005+01:00

Things that I've noticed about Blighty since being away for the last six months:

- The UK is grey. Really grey. Aside from the weather, many of the historical buildings are made of stone, which further contributes to the general greyness. The fact that everything is almost permanently bathed in sunshine yellow in Singapore is something that I have come to take for granted. Until now.

- Crime. There's a lot more of it in London. We saw a huge police raid, complete with two cars, two vans, and numerous officers, including two with enormous machine guns, on the way to visit our friend in Stoke Newington. We were here for six days when we saw that. In six months in Singapore, I have not seen anything that even vaguely resembles such serious criminal law enforcement.

- Dirt. Strangely, despite being a chewing gum aficionado, I totally understand why Singapore has outlawed chemically enhanced latex mastication. Long trodden black dots litter the pavements, bins overflow and the sewers are rather pungent since the recent heavy rains. The cleanliness of Sin City is yet another feature that I have grown to take for granted. No longer.

- Public transport sucks. There are, sadly, no two ways about it. London's 100+ year old tube network is dirty, noticeably old and unreliable. What you can calculate by counting stops is meaningless when you have to factor in signal failures and suicides. Singapore's uber-clean, super efficient and slick service is eons ahead of London. The only thing Singaporeans could do better is manage their ridiculous kiasu attitude and actually wait for people to get off before boarding.

- Vibrancy of the East End. London's East End will always hold a special place in our hearts. The aforementioned greyness, crime and dirt seem fitting of the East, where edginess pervades all things from atmosphere to haircuts.

- Friends. Of course, we can't replace the friends we have in the UK. It is difficult, having been away for the last few months living the life of Riley. We have many tales of adventures; the ones we have left behind speak of long winters, mundane jobs and far-flung daydreams. However, it's good to know that some of our friends have plans to visit us in Singapore or meet us on some cool island in South East Asia. I can think of worse ways to spend the last days of my twenties.

Sixth month, Singapore senses

2009-07-15T06:58:00.009+01:00

After six months, it seems appropriate to summarise first impressions of life in Sin City:

:: People ::

Kiasu behaviour strongly pervades Singaporean society. This all-consuming fear of 'losing out' causes some people to ignore any semblance of etiquette when using public transport and a relentless determination to be the top dog. Numerous characters have been created to poke fun at this tenacious nature, including Mr Kiasu and Mr Everything Also Know who leads the 'Know Your Singapore' Quiz in the URA gallery. The latter taught me the terribly interesting fact that more than half of Singapore is not taken up by major infrastructure nor Defence but by reservoirs. Despite this, Singapore is not yet self sufficient in the water stakes but is working hard to change this vulnerability into a capability by surging ahead in water technology. Watch this space for yet another 'World's First' or 'World's Largest' something or other. I'm on the edge of my seat.

:: Food ::

Singaporeans eat at all hours of the day and when they are not eating, many of them are thinking or talking about food. These hobbit-like people are fully experienced at fitting in second breakfast, elevenses, afternoon tea, and supper around the usual three meals a day on which other people in the world subsist. But who can blame them? Singapore truly is a gastronomic paradise where food from all over the world can be sampled alongside local food which is a delicious mixture of Chinese, Indian and Malay. The fusion of Chinese and Malay has even given rise to a whole new class of cuisine, Peranakan. Laksa is an excellent example of a fusion dish for which all over Singapore, people carry on their relentless search for the ultimate 'die die must try' bowl.

Morning meal - take your pick from economic bee hoon with sambal chilli, chee cheong fun, loh mai kai, nasi lemak, yam cake, char siu bao, toast (with the crusts cut off) spread with kaya, or soft boiled eggs with a dash of soy sauce. Wash that down with a kopi or teh remembering to say your chosen appendage, lest you want your drink served with a heaped spoonful of sugar and a squirt of sweet condensed milk: 'o' (no milk) or 'c' (with unsweetened evaporated milk) or 'peng' (with ice); 'kosong' (no sugar) or 'siudai' (less sugar). For those on a caffeine avoidance programme, select soya milk or Milo, which can be served on ice or lukewarm.

Try Wang Cafe for the toast or egg dishes and any of the myriad of small coffee shops and food courts dotted around Singapore for the chillified selections.

Afternoon meal - first decide whether you want rice or noodles. Then, decide between meat, fish or vegetables or a combination. Next, something 'dry' (with a sauce) or 'wet' (with a soup). Finally, with or without chilli (unless you're having curry).

Evening meal - see 'Afternoon meal'. Rinse and repeat.

In-between meal snackettes - all manner of fish-based products: fish balls on a stick, fish crackers, fish pounded into a paste, wrapped into a beancurd-based wrapper and deep-fried to get the right balance of crunchy and chewy. Yum. You can also try pork floss buns (a bread roll topped with dried flaky pork using some kind of edible glue) or any of the other baked delicacies found in stores like Breadtalk or (the celebrities' favourite) Bread Pitt:

A quick note about 'chopeing' seats. Entering a hawker centre or food court, you may be surprised to see numerous abandoned packs of tissues dotted on the tables. Far from this being your opportunity to blow your nose or take a seat, please note that locals have placed those tissues there to save their seat. Should you be brave enough to sit in a 'choped' seat, be warned that coming between a Singaporean and his food could be the one and only time that you ignite a passionate and burning tirade of fury. Saying 'belly solly, lah' and moving away will, no doubt, defuse the situation immediately.

:: Language ::

Singlish is everywhere. Even in the workplace. Far from it being an uneducated way of speaking, I find it a refreshing take on the English language. Currently, I am perfecting when to use 'lah', 'lor', 'leh', and 'what' at the end of a sentence and have designated Friday afternoons for Singlish practice with my local colleagues, which they find rather amusing. My favourite so far (and the one I am finding hardest to incorporate into my conversations) is the particle 'wat', also spelled what, which is used to remind or contradict the listener, especially when strengthening another assertion that follows from the current one: "The food there not bad what. Can try lah."

In other news, this month's highlights include:

- One night, two helipads. We were lucky to receive invites to party on the helipad of the New Asia Bar, situated on no less than the 72nd floor. The cityscape views were awesome and it was fun to be reminded how high in the sky we were by the occasional strong gust of wind. To max out our 'high', we then went to Helipad.

- Blissin' out in Bali.

- Learning how to cook ravioli with Heather Barrie, Founder of Fine Palate.

Next up is a weekend in Bangkok, learning how to dive in Borneo and following the preparations for National Day. Stop using the national flag as a tablecloth, hang it outside your house for four weeks (not a moment longer - it's the law) and feel smugly patriotic. We are Singapore.

Asian Adventure 4 :: 10-12 Jul '09 :: Bali, Indonesia

2009-07-13T19:52:00.007+01:00

Having been lucky enough to meet a superb group of friends in such a short space of time, we had a most amazing weekend on the Indonesian island of Bali. Just a 2.5 hour hop from Singapore, it's a perfect location for a weekend away that doesn't require any time off work. Beautiful beaches, trendy bars, and hidden treasures ensured that we all got very Bali Hai indeed.

Villa Bugan

On holiday with Big Foot

Seminyak

Gastronomy highlights: Top notch Indonesian lunch at Made's Warung II on Jalan Raya Seminyak and an exquisite beachside Mediterranean feast at La Lucciola.

Fifth month, gastro gang

2009-06-15T09:23:00.010+01:00

This month, we have mostly been...

- Getting into the swing of the dinner party thing. As the bar scene in Singapore is somewhat lacking compared to London's homely public houses complete with roaring fires and edgy watering holes of the East End with mis-matching furniture and kids sporting designer kicks and flicks, it's a popular alternative to gather in friends' places for dinner and drinks. Added to this, you also get the benefit of cheaper alcohol and a maid to clear up after you. Bonus. So, we have now been treated to parties in a range of places: from a two storey semi-detached black and white house to an old school condominium fit for a princess; from a converted shop house in Little India to a finished-last-year condominium that gives new meaning to the term "über-plüsh". All have their own distinct charm and it is excellent that, despite Singapore's size, there is a wide range of different types of places which one can call home.

- Learning about the life of 'Expat Brats', or rather more kindly, 'Third Culture Kids', whilst hanging out at the Tanglin Club. On the whole, I have found them all to be very welcoming. I'm just glad that I wasn't still drinking off my parents' beer money at age 25.

- Dining at number 45 of the world's 50 best restaurants (according to San Pellegrino). Iggy's served up a ten course dining extravaganza with a lean towards delectable items from the sea. On certain occasions, we were informed in which order to consume the beautifully presented parcels of gastronomic joy and in between others, we were served delicate creations that certainly amused our mouths no end. Our two complaints were that at the credit crunchingly punchy price of S$195 per head, not including wine, one expects every course to be the taste (as well as the picture) of perfection. Whilst presentation was spot on, there were a couple of dishes that lacked the balance required in molecular gastronomy. Added to that, the setting (in the Regent Hotel) was a little cramped and the decor could do with a makeover, but the service received was five star and it's always nice when the maître d' shakes your hand when you leave.

- Experiencing our first foray into clubbing with 'proper' music at Zouk. We grooved and bopped to the sounds of Ricardo Villalobos. Our penchant for electronic music played on a high quality soundsystem surrounded by an up-for-it crowd was satisfied given that it was the first time in almost five months that we had graced the dancefloor of a place not known purely as a model hang out (Mimolette) or one that plays god-awful 'salsa-house' and offers 'culinary clubbing' (Supperclub). We also met up with two lovely guys via the power of the internet - from posting on 4Four. Geek chic clubbing.

- Entertaining my parents. The 'rents landed on a Sunday and I treated them to a homemade Malaysian chicken curry, fast becoming my signature dish, made with another fabulous kampong chicken from the wet market in Tiong Bahru. During the week that they were here, I was working, so I met up with them for lunches and dinners. Given that they are old hands at the inner workings of Sin City, they shun posh eateries in favour of hawker centres featuring in the Makansutra. We did, however, convene one evening for a family gathering at the Swiss and Asian buffet at the Swissotel Stamford, which (with the credit card dining discount - a Singaporean must-have) was just $20 per head. It was rather amusing to see Grandad wandering round making pains to avoid any of the Western food. Thankfully, there were enough fresh oysters to start a farm, so I overdosed on zinc and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

- Feeling a strong pang of homesickness. The departure of Dash's parents was the first feeling of missing home that I felt. The second came, rather oddly, when I was watching 'The Duchess' at the Screening Room for a 'Women in Business' networking event organised by Norton Rose. The scenes of the beautiful Georgian mansions and sweeping English countryside made a little lump appear in my throat that wasn't a poorly swallowed bitesize samosa from the nibbles tray. Thankfully, more free wine helped to numb the thoughts of being far away from home.

Next up is a trip back to Blighty to attend a fabulous wedding at a farm in Suffolk and celebrate six months of UK non-residency status. Just before that though, we shall be celebrating a birthday at a villa in Bali and no doubt hanging out at more 'phat' Singaporean pads. It's a hard life.

Asian Adventure 3 :: 15-17 May '09 :: Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

2009-05-17T08:57:00.003+01:00

After a faultless one-and-a-half hour hop on Jetstar to Ho Chi Minh City's Tan Son Nhat International Airport, we secured the (seemingly) set price of US$10 for a trip into District 1 (Sài Gòn), and enjoyed our first experience of rush hour traffic, which has to be seen to be believed.

Never seen a motorcycle lane so full

Our taxi driver was a lady with painted eyebrows who sported a jacket, floppy sunhat and leather gloves. It was sunny and 28 degrees Celsius. This was true heliophobia (fear of the sun) - a trait common in Asia where pale skin is favoured as a way of distancing oneself from those who work as labourers (i.e. outside). Rather different from the West where people are keen to tan themselves as brown as the muck they are as common as, in Eastern eyes.

To get a feel for the area (Pham Ngu Lao) around our hotel before meeting our guide at 1pm, we wandered to grab lunch at the excellent Wrap and Roll and then walked to Thu Thiem Ferry Terminal on the Saigon River, taking in the Ben Thanh Market and the Opera House along the way.

Next up, we were met by the wonderful Van Dang from Connections Vietnam. For the ensuing four hours, Van took us on a whistle stop tour of some of the hidden districts of the City and gave us some excellent lessons in crossing the road. [Just walk very slowly out into the oncoming traffic and they will go around you]. We first journeyed around the famous market and Chinese temples of Cholon and then took a boat into District 2, once again being astounded by the sheer number of motorbikes (even on the boat itself) and the number of people allowed on a motorbike (by law, four at the last count)

Motorcyle Madness

One man, three children? No problem. Let's go!

District 2 has been ear-marked for proposed developments that look like very similar to the Singapore of now. Apparently, though, it's not unusual for such proposals to remain the daydreams of urban planners.

On return to District 1, we checked out the Notre-Dame Basilica (every stone of which was imported from France in the late 1800's) and enjoyed a street-side iced coffee before winding up at the last of the French colonial outposts, the Saigon Central Post Office.

Good to see Uncle Ho lives on inside the Post Office

As the sun began to fall, we embarked on a gastronomic adventure of Vietnamese wonderment. With the guidance of Van, we tried special dishes such as Xoi Man (sticky rice with chicken, shrimps, shallots and spring onions served with pickled mooli, cucumber and carrot) at Che Xoi (111 Bui Thi Xuan Street), Bun Rieu (noodles with tomato and crab) and Nem (flat spring rolls from North Vietnam) at a restaurant specialising in food from Hoi An and Banh Xeo (Vietnamese pancake filled with pork and beansprouts) at Long Huy (129 Cach Mang Thang Tam).

Seriously, everything we tried was lip-smackingly good. It was reassuring to note that Song Que, Viet Hoa and Huong Viet restaurants in Shoreditch and De Beauvoir, London, do a good rendition of Vietnamese dishes. However, the London scene can't quite beat sitting in a bustling restaurant, slurping whilst getting a bead on (a.k.a sweating) and listening to the sing-song chatter of the local Vietnamese. We ended the night by crossing one of the City's largest roundabouts by walking almost straight across the middle of it. Yes, we were only lit by the headlights of oncoming cars and motorbikes, but we were with our trusted Van, and that made anything achievable.

The next morning, we were up early after a breakfast at our hotel of last night's leftover dinners (for real, tasty fried rice, noodles, beef stew etc. alongside toast, cereal and fruit). This time, we were picked up by Giang Minh Nguyen to embark on a journey to the outskirts of the City where we went shopping with Mrs. Nghia at the local market (note: even in the tiny market lanes, motorcyclists do not dismount) for raw ingredients to make delicious goi cuon and beef pho (it's not 'fo', it's 'fur').

Goi Cuon Medley

Can't get enought goi cuon in my daily Singapore life

Beef pho made with real love

Over lunch, we learned how to say 'delicious' (ngon) and 'full' (ngot) but didn't attempt to say 'deliciously full' given that Vietnamese happens to be a very difficult language comprised of sounds that (to the untrained ear) are very similar.

In the afternoon, we headed over to see the two French protagonists of Wonderful District. It was most superb to meet Bertrand Peret and Sandrine Llouquet who gave us a keen insight into life as artists in the burgeoning creative scene in Vietnam. Both are wonderfully talented, forward-thinking, innovative and incredibly welcoming. They are working on a bi-lingual magazine on contemporary art in Asia and events under the Jet Lag brand, including an awesome end of year festival at Mui Ne, about five hours from Saigon.

After our enormous lunch, we decided that we had not had quite enough delectable cuisine so we headed to An Vien (178A Hai Ba Trung St, District 1), in the luxurious settings of an old French villa, where the highlight was a delicious king prawn soup that was garnished with edible flowers.

On our final day, we took in the War Remnants Museum and the Reunification Palace before heading to have our last Vietnamese coffee at the wonderfully secluded Serenata (6E Ngo Thoi Nhiem, District 3), an open-air cafe-bar with live piano music tinkering around the walls of an old villa. I could have sat there all day, had it not been for the necessary journey back to Sin City.

All in all, we had a magical time in Ho Chi Minh City. What made it really special was the chance to meet locals and experience a little bit of their daily lives. It is, after all, the people that make a place.

Fourth month, fandango

2009-05-15T10:51:00.003+01:00

This month, we have mostly been entertaining:

- Dash's parents (my soon-to-be-in-laws!). We kicked off their arrival with a homemade Malaysian chicken curry and the next day, enjoyed a walking tour of Kampong Glam and Little India after a ride on the Singapore Flyer. We were immensely glad not to have been trapped and winched down seven hours later.

View from the Flyer - you can see Temasek Tower (where Dash and I work) on the far left):

The next day, we journeyed East to Changi Village and stopped by Changi Chapel and Museum, which showcases informative accounts of the Japanese occupation and various prisoners' paraphernalia. We then welcomed the intermittent seaside breeze as we ambled along Changi Point Boardwalk:

They were then picked up by their Malaysian guide and driven around the mainland taking in the wonders of Malacca, the Taman Negara rainforest (one of the world's oldest rainforest est. 130 million years old), the Cameron Highlands, Penang and Langkawi for ten days before re-joining us in Singapore armed with a bunch of excellent tales of adventures and experiences highlighted by a super collection of photographs. Their favourites were the Cameron Highlands for its cooler climate and 'English kitchen garden' feel and staying in the Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion in Penang.

On their return for another weekend in Singapore, we completed a tour of Chinatown, taking in the excellent Chinatown Heritage Centre, the Buddha Tooth Relic Temple, the Sri Mariamman Temple and inter-connecting streets and alleyways. We also checked out the Urban Redevelopment Authority (URA) which houses the futuristic models of Singapore (including the up and coming Marina Bay Sands Resort complete with Singapore's first [controversial] casino and eagerly-awaited sky park on the 51st storey):

Our final sojourn was to Jurong Bird Park and the lush peacefulness of the Botanic Gardens.

Eating highlights: Karma Kettle & Rhapsody (Dempsey) - rather eclectic "traditional European and colonial" menu. Wouldn't go back and can't now it's reported closed. Si Chuan Dou Ha - superb Chinese restaurant on the 60th floor of the UOB Plaza. Would go back just to witness the tea boy's ninja pouring skills. Melt @ The Mandarin Oriental - an array of international delights at this sumptuous buffet that never disappoints. Tiong Bahru Market - Tiong Bahru Pau did us proud and served up some breakfast items that were not too outlandish for our English visitors. Halia - beautiful setting nestled within the natural environs of the Botanic Gardens, one cannot fail to delight in the splendour of this restaurant.

- Tiong Bahru Tippling Club. We held our first party to christen our home with laughter, smiles and liquor. It was thoroughly enjoyable to welcome all of the people we had met so far to sample some of my edible treats and Dash's beats.

and being entertained:

- By journeying across the Southern Ridges. Our two hour walk encompassed the newly opened tree-top walkway at Telok Blangah Hill Park and the superbly designed highest pedestrian bridge in Singapore, Henderson Waves.

- At Giles Petersen's Worldwide Festival. Sadly, a rather disappointing turnout due to poor marketing meant that the beach festival was lacking somewhat in atmosphere. The music was OK for a commercially sponsored event. We continue on our quest for the 'sound of the underground' in Singapore. Slowly slowly, catchy monkey, as they say.

- By the tremors felt after the explosion at Marina Bay. From Temasek Tower, the 'boom' was accompanied by views of the mushroom clouds of smoke after the blasts went off in triplicate. An odd scene in 'Safety Singapore'.

- By the amusing Chinese anecdotes that my colleagues have been treating me to. (i) Not only does Milo make you "heaty" but a whole bunch of other foods can also make you feel 'hot' or 'cold'. (ii) Putting too much Milo into your mix of hot water and milk will create a "Milo Dinosaur" and you can even order one of these in a coffee shop. (iii) The local Chinese pudding place at Amoy Street Food Centre sells such delights as 'yam paste with gingko nuts' and 'turtle pudding'. Now, which one of those is going to make me hot or cold (or just plain sick)? (iv) For not wishing to try the aforementioned puddings, I have been labelled a 'sua ku' (lit. mountain turtle). Yes, imagine a turtle that hid in its shell all day and lived in the mountains. True, it would not be a very adventurous individual. However, I reject the suggestion that said turtle would enjoy 'turtle pudding'.

Next month, more friend-making, party-attending and general enjoyment in the sunshine, as well as welcoming our next set of guests: my parents! Most excellent.

Third month, growing roots

2009-04-15T11:02:00.001+01:00

This month, we have mostly been feeling like we are starting to grow roots in Sin City. As this really is 'Asia-Lite', a coin termed by mainly given this fair isle's cleanliness and welcoming nature, we are now bedding down in our 'home from home':

- Caught up with some aunties, uncles and my granddad over a superb selection of Malay and Indonesian dishes at the locally famed Zion Road Nasi Padang. Thanked my blessings for my poor attempts thus far to learn Mandarin. I only had to endure indirect chastisement (via translation) for confirming that I do not give my parents any money. This being an age-old tradition here, my granddad was very curious to know whether I am partaking. Having only reached the post of a launderette worker, his state pension is woefully small but he is lucky enough to rely upon (and will be until he checks out of this life) the generous donations of his children. He accused me of 'not being filial enough'; however, being told off in a foreign language never quite has the impact of the real deal, so I comforted myself in my ignorant English shroud and tucked into another spoonful of curried eggplant.

- Being of the type who've spent their twenties in and out of various nightclubs and outdoor festivals around the world, it was with a degree of sadness that we attended the last party at the now defunct KM8 beach bar. The fact that the website is still functioning is a sign that the spirit of this place may never die. They are, in fact, replacing the chillaxathon-day-space-morphing-into-raucous-night-time-ravathon with a more upmarket venue, which the 'authorities' believe will calm down the racing heartbeats and washed out drunken faces of the locals and expats who frequented KM8. Little do they know that rich people can be just as (if not more) ludicrously behaved than those without Liberia's deficit in their sky-rocket. Oh well. If it gives the 'authorities' more feeling of 'control' then it must be good. Right? I look forward to visiting the new space armed with a bottle of Bollinger and a picnic hamper. I might tuck a couple of glowsticks in the side pocket, though, just in case.

- Had a curious dining experience at Red Star, Dim Sum Restaurant, which is famed for being one of the only and one of the best Hong Kong style dim sum experiences, where they push overflowing carts of dumpling-filled bamboo steamers from table to table. After queuing for 20 minutes on the monumental hangover from the night before, we were finally directed towards a table piled high with dirty dishes and half-chewed pork ribs on a chilli-stained table cloth. After another 5 minutes, someone came to clear the dim sum detritus and I had learned the order of the day: Due to the enormity of the restaurant and the age of many of the waiting staff, the push carts just didn't quite seem to be making the full rounds. Many of the carts were surrounded by locals of all ages like bees round a honey pot. These bees, however, were armed with hungrily waved yellow scorecards. I whipped our yellow card out of its holder and spent our entire lunchtime hastily munching on a few dumplings and then leaping up to grab a front row spot at the next new cart. In all of this kerfuffle, I was unable to locate even one 'aunty' who was serving my favourite, har kau. Red Star was apparently started in the 1970s by four top chefs in Singapore. Clearly, their philosophy of "economical, value-for-money, and tasty food" died when they did.

- Wandered around the eerily deserted Haw Par Villa, a Chinese mythological theme park. The Ten Courts of Hell is by far the best bit. Where else in the world, let alone Singapore, can you marvel at dimly lit sculptures of drug dealers being pulverised by a millstone, prostitutes having their arms and legs cut off and liars having their tongues cut out. We left feeling smug that we were 'good citizens' and unlikely to face a mean looking long-bearded Chinese dude before being sent to our deaths.

Kids, this is what happens to you if you're bad. Just say no.

Spot the monkey.

- Attended a great birthday dinner at the ridiculously named "Brunch". Thankfully, the choice of name was the only error on the part of the owners. The outdoor BBQ buffet was excellent with king prawns, cod, steaks, lamb chops, and sausages brought to our table and a help-yourself salad and dessert bar. Of course when washed down by a 'free-flow' of beers and wines, most meal experiences would be "like, really great and I love this and that and blah" but I do recall moments prior to being hit by intense inebriation when my taste buds were telling me good things.

- Hung out at Helipad after over-indulging in chargrilled items and freeflow. Now, I'm all for al fresco tippling under a hot Italian sun, but when it comes to outdoor binge drinking on a Singapore rooftop with not a breath of wind, I am less amenable. After tucking in to a couple of the drinks made by drunkards (at many Singapore bars, you can order whole bottles of spirits and disproportionately small carafes of mixers to ensure you set sail into oblivion), I consoled myself by resting with my feet in an ice bucket, much to the disdain of my fellow companions. I decided it should be time to go home after I started to threaten them with poorly-expressed ideas of where I might be soon placing cubes of my 'foot ice'. Despite Helipad's unimaginably challenging route of access, we managed to find our way downstairs via a brief respite of air-conditioning and out into the sweltering humidity. Beginning to run out of fingers for the number of times I have fallen asleep in the back of the taxi on the way home.

- Endured and enjoyed our second Asian Adventure!

Next up is local touring to show our home city to our first guests from London. Expect tales of meanderings in the searingly hot sun and taste-bud tantalisation interspersed with some more weekends involving liquid inebriation and getting high (on life).