Twenty-seventh month, secret dining

This month, we have mostly been...

- Bored in Batam. Under duress, I journeyed to Batam on the 40 minute ferry ride from Harbourfront for the annual staff away day. Next time, I think I shall feign illness. Batam is dusty, unkempt and devoid of character. Harris Resort is a giant germ-infested sand pit filled with snivelling children and horrid orange decor. I thanked my lucky stars I only had to stay one night. Unfortunately, I returned to Singapore with a legacy lurgy that I picked up somewhere between the meeting room, the canteen and my bedroom. Rancid.



- Attempting to dance. Paul Kalkbrenner graced Singapore with his presence on a multi-stop world tour to promote the celebrated youth culture flick, Berlin Calling:



Sadly, the Management at Singapore's best club, Zouk, heinously mis-judged the pulling power of a popular film and showcased Paul Kalkbrenner in Velvet Underground. The tiny dancefloor was packed to the rafters. Drinks were spilled everywhere by people trying to return from the bar to their friends. I even lost my bracelet as my trailing arm became sandwiched between three masses thronging in different directions. It was utter clubbing hell. Never to be repeated.

- Shucking our own oysters. Why pay for a whole hotel buffet when you have a craving for freshly shucked oysters? Coming to a home near you... maybe. All you need to do is order your oyster knife online at eBay and wait two weeks for it to arrive. Then, take a long ride with Uncle to Greenwood Avenue, land of rich people in Singapore (you can check out their enormous houses whilst you wait for a taxi back to normal town). Visit the fish market and hand-pick your own. Return home. Try not to stab your hand and end up at Singapore General Hospital before you can say "shallot vinegar". Maybe, next time we'll just go to Culina.

- Dining 'illegally'. It should be of no surprise that Singapore is the latest place to see the sudden appearance of secret supper clubs on the gastronomic scene. For those 'in the know', these intimate dining affairs offer the chance to get to know some friends you hadn't met yet and chow down on some delicious home-cooked (but often restaurant standard) nosh. Seek and ye shall find.

Twenty-sixth month, culture club

Marina Bay Sands - view from the launch of the Singapore Biennale

This month, we have mostly been enjoying the Singapore Biennale...


Although the last show was in 2008, the Singapore Biennale took place this year in 2011. Having heard good reports from the previous shows, we were expecting to see some eye-catching and inspiring installations. The opening kicked off with Tatzu Nishi's enthralling pop-up hotel. Some said that encasing the Merlion's head in a box adorned on the inside with dark gold wallpaper and a blood red carpet was lacking in imagination but then again, offering people the chance to wake up under a giant mouth that would usually be spouting a ton of water was rather playful. It made me smile.

Despite having to use Google Maps to direct turn by turn our taxi driver Uncle to Old Kallang Airport, we were pleased to arrive and be dropped right at the door as it started to spit with rain. Whilst there were far too many video art exhibitions which could not tempt us to linger given the suffocating heat, here are a selection of favourites:


Rafael Lozano-Hemmer, Mexico - 'Frequency and Volume'




Michael Lee, Singapore - 'Office Orchitect'

Fumio Nanjo, Director of Tokyo's Mori Art Museum was previously Artistic Director of the Singapore Biennale. This time, Matthew Ngui (who was previously a curator) was named as the front man. Sadly, I can't say I was particularly bowled over by the show. With the 'catch all' title, 'Open House', it lacked cohesion, featured too much video art and was missing 'wow' factor. If I was to mark it like a school report, I would say, 'Could do better'.

Asian Adventure 21 :: 22-27 Feb '11 :: Yangon and Bagan

"Grand" Hotel

"Manchester, Portsmouth, Liverpool, Arsenal", said the taxi driver after he had learned my native country. An impressive knowledge of the English premier league teams and strong brand awareness of the BBC seems to sit with many Myanmar citizens.

Near City Hall

Beautiful Shwedagon Pagoda

Dusty roads, uneven pavements with man-sized gaping holes and road barriers covered in barbed wire characterise Myanmar's highways. Colonial buildings stand decaying, their façades covered with black soot and mould. Night falls; limited street lighting makes the pavements even more precarious to the untrained eye. Over-loaded buses, battered and falling to pieces clatter past at speed, weaving in and out of rows of saloon cars from the 1980s. A knee-high child lingers by the side of a busy road, examining something freshly plucked from the floor. No obvious parent is in sight.

Downtown, the streets team with foodstalls and betel nut sellers. Here, you can experience the true smell of Asia - a heady mixture of exhaust fumes, street barbecues, decaying tropical vegetation and the occasional whiff of sewerage.

Street food


Snake head, anyone?

Betel nut stall

Every other block, you'll find a set of home telephones laid out on a table or a make-shift booth. It costs over US$1000 to buy a SIM card in Myanmar. People either rent mobile phones or stand in the street on a home phone hooked up to the local network, which is sketchy at the best of times.

Home phone a friend

The local currency notes are limp and blemished, as if they have been through the washing machine and left out to dry in a muddy puddle. Perversely, US dollars won't be accepted as tender unless they are clean and crisp, as if fresh off the press.

Traditional dress is prevalent and thanaka (a yellowish-white cosmetic paste made from ground tree bark) coats the cheeks of many women and children. Whilst heavily controlled - many have had their passports confiscated - people are warm, welcoming and calm. Strange for a country ruled by a military so distant - how many people know that the capital was moved from Yangon in 2005 three hundred kilometres north to Nay Pyi Taw?

Cleaning time at Shwedagon Pagoda


Sunset prayers at Shwedagon Pagoda

Taxis rides are a beltless swerving adventure in a car that doesn't even have a tape deck, only a short wave radio. Forget about the cooling fan, the windows are permanently down. Those with an aversion to hairdryers should not apply. Our last taxi driver of the holiday was high on betel nut, at every traffic light throwing his head back and cackling as he saw the whites of our eyes in his rear view mirror. It was one of those moments when you had to laugh. Nervously.

Travelling up north on Air Bagan is a reprieve from the bustling streets of Yangon. Welcome to the land of horse and cart. A bandana face mask comes in useful for the dust kicked up by your trusty steed and a torch can save you from descending pitch black interior temple staircases. Children pester you for 'bon-bons' (clearly, the French hand out the most sweets) and no major temple is without rows of 'same same but different' souvenirs. That said, the views are simply stunning.

Bagan Skyline

View of the largest temple in Bagan

Rare Double Buddha

In all, Myanmar is a mystery. The expectation that the military would be highly visible and that you might just get locked up for whispering "Aung San Suu Kyi" did not materialise. Yangon is rough, ready and fast decaying. Bagan is peaceful, nostalgic and so far only gently kissed by the plump lips of tourism. What will happen in the next twenty years is uncertain. As political corruption allows infrastructure to crumble and sag, will the Myanmar of today eventually wither and die? Will the rulers simply keep moving to new outposts where they can build shiny new palatial homes leaving behind one urban mess after another?

Check it out:
Kandawgyi Palace Hotel, Yangon
Monsoon (85-87 Thien Byu Road, Yangon)
Bogyoke Aung San Market (Scott Market), Yangon

Twenty-fifth month, blink and you'll miss it

This month, we have mostly been...

- Entertaining at home. Make your own flour tortillas. There's a challenge. Not really, when you have a bored husband turned wannabe baker at home. Hey presto, Mexican Party! Arriba!

- Enjoying. Is having two 'New Year' celebrations greedy?

- Travelling to Tokyo for the Digital Creative Conference. I was very lucky to be invited as a guest to the conference, where I formed a great bond with the legendary Bill Thompson:


Bill enjoying his goblet of wine at Bar Piano in Drunkard's Alley.

I was also very lucky to be able to meet up with my dear friends, Rie, Yusuke and Adam. As usual, Rie took me to the most delectable places to eat both super fresh seafood and 'heroin-grade' beef (highly addictive). Here are the business cards. Like the menus: No English. Perfect.

Asian Adventure 20 :: 3-6 Feb '11 :: Hanoi

Hanoi Rocks. The words, stuck onto a school bag, have stayed with me for the past fifteen years. My trip felt long overdue. Shame then, that we chose to go to Hanoi when our dates coincided with the Tết holiday. So smug had we felt when booking our cheap flights four months previously. So annoyed we felt when we arrived in 'post-apocalyptic Hanoi'.

Renowned for its busy and bustling streets filled with motorbikes and food stalls spilling across each pavement, Hanoi was a ghost town. After leaving our bags at our simple but effective hotel, we wandered the Old Town streets, dodging the odd wire hanging from the mess of cables overhead and marvelling at the anorexic buildings constructed to house several generations under one roof. After an unsuccessful attempt at finding nourishment at one of the few street food stalls (it tasted like crushed beetles wrapped in caterpillar skin), our grumbling bellies were soothed in the ubiquitous noodle chain, pho24.


Skinny living

That evening, we had a rather disappointing meal at Restaurant Bobby Chinn. For a restaurant that prides itself on its 'fusion' menu, this felt more like, 'blended cuisine'. Neither Asian nor Western; neither good nor awful. It was all just somewhere in between - nothing to excite the palate nor particularly to induce vomit. Distinctly average.

Thankfully, we were destined for a relaxing trip around Hạ Long Bay for the remainder of our long weekend, so the next morning we zoomed at breakneck speed to the coast care of the Paloma Cruise minibus. Only one stop was made for the rest and refueling of our driver - at a roadside cafe attached to a huge store selling an odd collection of marble statues and other random trinkets. Shockingly, photographs of people purchasing statues with their full names and email addresses adorned the outside walls. Weird 101.


No word of a lie

Arriving in the Bay, we were greeted on board by a loud blasting of 'Happy New Year' by Abba and a welcome speech given by our dear leader, who had an intriguing approach to the English language. Mostly, "We are so happy" interspersed with details of the cruise itinerary and the history of the poorly timed Tết holiday. We consoled ourselves with a Hanoi 'bia' on top deck with a slight chilly wind on our faces.


View from top deck

Just before dinner was served, we took part in a cooking (read: rolling) class where we assembled spring rolls and watched the chef dunk them in oil. Surprisingly, even the ones made by the stubby fingers of Chinese children onboard with their multi-member families were edible. Note to self: Add spring rolls to foolproof recipe list.

And then came a string of further disappointing meals (was the usual chef on his bloody Tết holiday too?) which were more Thai than Vietnamese, and more oil than substance. We retired early to bed after a short-lived attempt at squid fishing. Believe.

The next morning, we awoke to find ourselves in Vietnam's boat parking lot. Time to ride: off we pootled on our speedboat to clamber into a rowing boat steered by a pitiful lady struggling under the weight of four Western fatties. Trying not to be too distracted by her huffing and puffing, we enjoyed peering into the lives of those who live in the Floating Village. Next up was Sung Sot Cave (a.k.a. 'Amazing Cave'). Let's put it this way: apart from the penis rock, don't be fooled by the nickname. If piped music at a heritage site is your thing, however, please feel free to arrange for an extended visit.


I hope your biceps are strong...



Highlight of the trip to 'Amazing Cave' is 'Penis Rock'.

We exited the Bay in much the same fashion as we had arrived, only this time, our fellow minibus passengers had to ask the driver to conduct the vehicle a little less maniacally. Very amusing. We were rather enjoying the skill with which he demonstrated the signature Vietnamese haphazard weave. Back in Hanoi, we had enough luck to taste some of the dishes we had been craving by simply going to the Elegance Diamond Hotel's restaurant. Finally, cha ca la vong and bun cha were no more strangers and we slurped and munched with delight.


The height of fashion in downtown Hanoi

Overall, we felt like we had been in Hạ Long Bay about ten years too late - long after tourism's grubby fingers had touched everything. And we were just unlucky to coincide with the Tết holiday in Hanoi. Our love for Vietnam is far from over - we are only just beginning.

Twenty-fourth month, time flies

Happiness is cheap in Singapore

Fun fun fun in the sun sun sun = time flying like there's no tomorrow. After two years on this tiny isle, has the UK become a distant memory of a life less ordinary? Has Singapore reached the coveted spot as the place I call 'home'?

If it's possible, this second year has zipped by even more rapidly than the first in a whizz of weddings and weekends away. We managed to escape to Asia no less than six times (albeit half the number of holidays we had in the first year) and back to the UK twice.

So, how has life changed in this second year? Here's a quick round-up:

- Cementing friendships. Much like university days, by the time you get into your second year, you pretty much know who your core group of buddies is and you spend the rest of the year building on those solid foundations. You sort the wheat from the chaff, know who you want to spend holidays with (and those who you definitely don't), know whose calls to return and whose to reject. It may sound tough but there literally aren't enough hours in one's life to waste on people who you just don't like that much. There are seldom enough for those who you'd like to see more of in any event. The key difference between expat life and university life is that you win and lose people along the way. As if someone just dropped out of university, people disappear from Singapore life to pastures new. For many, their photos on Facebook change from tropical beaches to wintery scenes. No more booze cruises, only nights out down the pub. It's always sad to see them go, but the transient nature of Singapore and its non-stop party scene means that you can refill the hole in your friend circle with ease at any time.

- Moving house. As most lettings are two years here, the time on our first home came swiftly to an end. After deliberating over the dire straits of the UK economy and the grim weather back home, we decided that we had not had enough of Asia yet so signed on for another two years in a new flat. Cue spending a month's salary on kitting out an unfurnished place because we wanted the place to feel more like we own it. Ouch.

- Settling in. After extensive research via word-of-mouth recommendations and the interweb, we know where to buy wedding rings (DeRocks: 10 Anson Rd #19-11 Singapore 079903. Contact: 62226818), get jewellery fixed, buy Thai groceries, find an organic farm, plan a fancy dress costume and invest in contemporary Asian art. We have truly mastered the art of avoiding Orchard Road and enjoy sourcing things from esoteric shops in the forgotten malls of Singapore. SHOP. EAT. PARTY. Rinse and repeat.

Stay tuned for more banal observations on life, Asian adventures, and top tips for your successful survival in the badlands of Sin City.

Asian Adventure 19 :: 31 Dec '10 -4 Jan '11 :: Bali

For New Year this year, we decided to go it alone and enter the territory of Eat, Pray, Love. Ubud welcomed us with a deluge - we even had to roll up our trousers just to reach our room. Why oh why did we opt to stay amongst the rice paddies?

8 pm until ALL PASS OUT

As is often customary in centres of tourist exploitation, we were charged a hefty US$75 each for the New Year Dinner & Dance. Not a drop of alcohol was served. The food came at a rate of knots and given the fact that we're just not that in to Balinese 'dance' music, we had retired to our four poster bed to watch films by 10.30 pm. Nice.


Ubud is full to bursting with handicraft shops. Should you be searching for a mosaic plate, wood carving, wind chime or garden furniture, you need look no further. And if your aural senses are heightened by the smooth groove of Ethnic Lounge, then you should seriously consider moving there.


A trip out to Tegallalang (organise it through your hotel) is a must for the quintessential photos of the tiered rice terraces and as long as you are up to date with your rabies injections, you should not fear a stroll through the Monkey Forest.




Just avoid the idiotic people who insist on 'hand-feeding' the monkeys (unless you consider having a monkey jump on your back and bite your face and shoulder in a frenzied attack on the hand-held banana a fun experience).


Cafe Lotus and Indus were other treats along the way before splashing out on a supreme tasting menu at Mozaic. It was a delectable journey, each dish captured by the three diners on the table next to us on their mobile phones. There's nothing like a bunch of food bloggers taking photos from all angles of their own and their companions' dishes to distract from the peaceful enjoyment usually associated with fine dining.

Our driver told us that the last five years had seen a marked increase in traffic in Ubud. Given the sheer number of EPL's (a.k.a. single, white females re-discovering 'life') clinging to local motorcyclists and the more daring ones going it alone, I can only predict that Ubud's roads will become more and more gridlocked. I dare say the number of 'mixed race' babies being born in Bali will no doubt see a spike too.

Ubud is certainly a peaceful alternative to the busy beaches of Seminyak. Of the few large hotels, many are hidden from view down sheltered approaches so a lot of the area still has a village feel. A village selling all manner of homewares imaginable, nonetheless. Shop, Sleep, Sloth.

Top five tips for alternative gift shopping

Not that I never feel the need to head to Orchard Road to flex my credit card, but I do try to avoid the area at the most crowded times - mid-morning to late afternoon on the weekends. I also like to support the burgeoning scene of quality independent retailers offering a little break from the norm:

Around the house:

- Strangelets - Wooden monkeys and handmade soaps to unique ceramics and illustrated notepads.

- egg3 - Funky handbags and handmade toys to painted glassware and frilly tops.

Books:

- Books Actually - Intriguing titles, handmade journals and vintage Singapore memorabilia. For heaven's sake, don't just mill around on the ground floor.

- Littered with Books - Inspiring titles, staff picks and a free cuppa. What's not to like? Be warned: Many hours may pass between entering and exiting.

Vintage:

- Granny's Day Out - A plethora of dresses, shoes, bags and jewellery from times gone by are lovingly collected and displayed for your purchasing pleasure.

- nana and bird - Scarves, belts and treasure chests. You'll be hard pressed not to find a single item that will serve as a beautifully unique gift.

Masterchef:

- ToTT (Tools of The Trade) - The place wet kitchen dreams are made, especially those featuring Jamie Oliver.

- 25 degree Celsius - Singapore's first (and therefore, best) cookbook shop. They also run recipe sessions selected from the books available in store.

Fashion:

- Boutiques at Fort Canning - This event happens every couple of months or so and features a wide range of items from some excellent designers (mainly expat wives) who have yet to open a physical store.

- Not In The Malls - An online portal gathering some of Singapore's finest 'finds' from the independent designer scene.

- Asylum - For global trend spotters and setters: if your wallet's feeling heavy, I'm sure you can unload some excess weight here in exchange for a whole lotta 'cool'.

Bonus Tip - Mixed bag:

- Hairloom & Caramel - Where else can you get a hair cut, eat a quiche lorraine and leave with a retro notepad? Simply awesome.

Top five tips for moving house

1. Location location location. Much like being in the hawker centre and deciding between rice or noodles, you'll at least have to make the following simple choices to narrow down your search:

- Central or 'Pretty much Malaysia'. MRT stations Newton and Marina Bay on the North-South line and Tiong Bahru and Bugis on the East-West line are the limits of what I would call Central. Outside of that, I would consider Holland Village and Portsdown Road because both areas contain pockets of properties that are full of character. I am sure you can perceive my bias for living centrally given the label for all other areas outside of those above-mentioned as 'Pretty much Malaysia'. Unless you are minted enough to own a car, or you actually enjoy long taxi rides with Uncle, I would steer clear.

- East or West. North is a non-starter unless your job is based in the Heartlands and you relish the idea of being surrounded by nothing other than a sea of residential dwellings. East wins on proximity to 'beaches' (not that you would want to swim in the rancid oil-infested waters) and the airport but unless you live in Geylang, you will be far from the MRT and you will live your life between bus stops. West has far better transport links and a greater variety of things to do: Botanic Gardens, Bukit Timah, Jurong Bird Park, The Southern Ridges to name a few.

2. To condo or not to condo?. Basically, are you willing to live without a pool so that you can live in a place with a unique character? Alternatives are:

- Registering for a black and white. Assuming you have a spare S$10,000 deposit to be in with a chance to bid and have a salary the triple of which will get you close to the sometimes astronomical rents, get involved! If you are lucky, you may find a steal and your rent will be next to nothing but, as you can imagine, those places don't come up very often so you will often spend time online ogling the houses that only CEOs can afford; S$45,000 per month? You have got to be kidding me. If you're not, can I be your friend?

- Old HDBs. Dotted around in Chinatown, Tiong Bahru and a small handful of other places are properties that have had their soul ripped out and replaced with contemporary living spaces. Your neighbour may be one hundred years old, sitting on a stool with a fan in his hand whilst you may have a weather-sensitive sliding roof and more remote controls for aircons than you know what to do with but therein lies the charm of 'real' Singapore.

- Shophouses. Around Outram Park and in Little India are some fabulously preserved shophouses complete with wooden floors and ornate carvings. Real gems, if you can find them.

3. Agents. Like'em or loathe'em the world over. It is no different here. You get some who will show you places exactly in line with your specifications (initially, it look us just four days to find a place) or others who are clueless, ignore your requests and then dog you with endless streams of text messages offering you places that are so far removed from what you want, they may as well be located on the Moon. I personally recommend Alvin Yeo who will take really good care of you in Tiong Bahru; outside of that, it's worth asking around at work or amongst your friends for someone they have used.

4. Get the movers in. If you are seriously busy (read: lazy) you can hire movers to pack everything and neatly deliver to your new place. They will even pack your underwear, if you let them. We chose a combination of us packing everything bar the large items of furniture and them delivering. It's fun to see your sofa wrapped in bubble wrap and cling film for careful transportation. That's one idea movers in the UK could learn from Singapore! Shalom Movers say they are No. 1 and we wholeheartedly agree.

5. Get yourself to the auction. Expat Auctions are held once a month and are havens for severely cut-price Oriental furniture. We recently walked away with five pieces of furniture for just S$1000. Although the process can be quite long (it takes approximately one minute per listed item to auction so be prepared to wait if you like items 23 and 188), it is fun and exhilarating bidding for your desired items. If that's not your cup o' cha, head to FairPrice Antique for similar Oriental style items at fixed (and fairly high, but not outlandish) prices. Of course, there's always Craigslist too for buyer-seller transactions involving a mix of characterful items and bog standard IKEA stuff. If you need pick-up and delivery for the odd item here and there, Mr Pang on +65 9223 6234 is an absolute legend.

Best of luck in your quest for a new home!

Twenty-third month, shivering

This month, we have mostly been...


For a country where it usually hovers around 30-31°C, this is positively chilly!

- Feeling a little chilly. This year, the rainy season has been on its true form and we have had many more prolonged thunderstorms. Whilst we had been stifling our laughter at our local friends who have been complaining of the 'cold weather', we were shocked to see the temperature gauge read a measly 24 degrees Celsius the other day! Lowest on record since we have been here. That evening coincided with our friend giving us a lift back to base in a borrowed BMW convertible. It was the first time I had felt goosebumps outside in Singapore and it wasn't just down to him 'testing' the accelerator.

- Looking for and finding a new home! Check out my top tips on preparing for moving day. Fear not, we are still in our beloved Tiong Bahru, having moved approximately two hundred paces down the road to be in a slightly larger unit. We are now even closer to the market and live directly above Yes Natural, one of the jewels in the crown of the independent stores in the estate.

- Loving the view but hating the food. We decided to take our visiting friend to enjoy the views from the highest restaurant in Singapore (282m). Sadly, Stellar did not live up to its name. Over-zealous air-conditioning, underwhelming food. We were served by five different staff - one to take our order, one for drinks, two for food and another one for the bill. What a shame the bill was wrong - we had to track down the duck egg who took our order to prove that we had ordered the Aberdeen Angus and not the Wagyu. We were informed that we had actually been served the Wagyu (not that you could tell) but they were kind enough (and rightly so) to reduce the price accordingly. Sadly, that wasn't enough to ever entice us back as the word 'sorry' was not heard even once during this whole stellar ordeal.

- Avoiding the crowds. Check out my top tips on alternative gift shopping.

Next up, we shall be keeping our fingers crossed that although we do not have a chimney or any snow, Santa will still remember to fly over Singapore to deposit some gifts under our tree.

Twenty-second month, life goes on...

This month, we have mostly been...

- Kicking back in Kanchanaburi, Thailand.

- Marvelling at the Singapore advertising standards. Check out the current prizes on offer:

UOB - Win A Trip To Anywhere*.


'What? Even to the Moon?!'

DBS - Win a condominium.


A whole condominium? Wow, that's like having 150 bedrooms. Cool!

Naturally, I immediately checked the Terms and Conditions and was sad to note that the 'Trip To Anywhere' would have to be purchased with the real prize of S$6000 of UOB Travel Vouchers (I do not believe they are currently dealing in Moon tourism) and the definition of 'condominium' is actually a 980 square feet, 2-bedroom unit (#03-13) at Oasis@Elias, which is expected to receive its Temporary Occupation Period ('T.O.P.') in December 2012. Misleading advertising at its best.

- Enjoying a short trip back to the UK. I was lucky enough to join my new role at the British Council at the time of the Encounters Short Film Festival in Bristol, UK. I spent many hours in darkened rooms watching some amazing and some terrible short films from around the world. Particular highlights were: HALF TERM, directed by Sam Donovan; A FAMILY PORTRAIT, directed by Joseph Pierce; WHEN A HEN EATS A BEE, directed by Tim Frost; and THE ONGOING LIFE OF PETER PEEL: CAN, CAN, CAN’T, directed by Felix Massie.

WHEN A HEN EATS A BEE, directed by Tim Frost.

THE ONGOING LIFE OF PETER PEEL: CAN, CAN, CAN’T, directed by Felix Massie.

Next up is the run up to another hot and sweaty Christmas in the tropics. Looking forward to hearing hits such as 'I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas' blasting through the airwaves in all the shopping malls. Brilliant.

Asian Adventure 18 :: 4-7 Nov '10 :: Kanchanaburi

The order of the day was a weekend of chilling with a little splash of culture. Kanchanburi, just two-and-a-half hours from Bangkok fitted the bill. We skipped over to Bangkok to stay at the Siamese Views Lodge for the night ('boutique' = 'basic', rather than 'trendy' in this instance) and enjoyed an evening stroll down the Khao San Road - land of henna tattoos, deep fried beetles, fake ID cards and I ♥ Boyfriend t-shirts.

The next morning, we were picked up early by our driver arranged through Xanadu 2008, where we were to stay for the following three days. Run by Dennis from the UK and his Thai wife, Nee, it was a homely place perfect for peaceful contemplation outside of the backpacker vibe in central Kanchanaburi.


Famous for being the home of The Bridge over the River Kwai (formerly the Mae Klong River before it was re-named), the majority of Kanchanaburi's delights lie away from the main tourist drag.


All are welcome


Sadly, the centre is over-populated with seedy bars offering Western food by day and sex tourism by night. Many also stop off to get their dreadlocks repaired or grab another henna tattoo before their onward trip to discover 'The Beach'. A little bit of culture before staying up for 48 hours dancing to psy-trance never hurt anybody, right?


We hired a motorbike (despite being licence-free) and journeyed off to the Erawan Waterfalls. A straight road takes you right to the doorstep of seven levels of refreshing azure plunge pools. Our young legs took us up to level five where our feet were tickled by the gentle caresses and occasional nips from the resident fish.


The only spoilers were the two over-sized Russians who 'spoke' only in sign language and who rudely motioned for me to move from where I was sitting so that they could take photos of each other posing in their skintight Speedos.


Before scooting back to base, we detoured to the Phra That Caves - a monstrous cavern hidden at the top of approximately one million steps (okay, the equivalent of doing twenty-five minutes on a poorly calibrated step machine). As we were the only visitors at the time (and it was the last week of low season), the usual cave lighting was off meaning that we had a one on one guide lit by a kerosene lamp. The experience allowed me to re-live my childhood fear of the dark and it was all topped off when the lamp was shone on a white snake coiled around the fence about 30cm from my left foot. That's when I momentarily lost my sense of humour and was glad to squeeze back through the gap in the rocks known as the exit.

We are never disappointed with Thailand. Great food, beautifully kind people and a huge variety of breathtaking and thought-provoking attractions. There's something for everyone - even dirty old men looking for a cheap date. Kanchanaburi, for us, was a superb place for some R&R whilst having enough to see and do that kept our brains from turning to mush.

Twenty-first month, whirlwind

This month, we have mostly been:

- Recovering from our immense honeymoon in Japan. Started my new job on 28 September and am loving life as a Cultural Diplomat - Director of Creativity at The British Council. It's definitely one of those jobs they don't tell you about in school.

- Entertaining family and friends. My parents, sister and family, cousin and our good friend, Hannah, descended on Singapore in quick succession which precipitated an extension of the over-eating and excessive drinking sessions that we enjoyed on our honeymoon. Putting the diet off until 2011, methinks. Particular highlights were a sumptuous Peranakan meal at Candlenut Kitchen (their ayam buah keluak is a die die must try) and Noble House for exquisite dim sum.

- Meeting Great Aunties and Uncles that I never knew existed. The setting for my cousin's Chinese wedding was the beautiful Four Seasons - just the right amount of gaudy chic. This being my second Chinese wedding, I was keen to compare notes with the previous wedding I had attended. As before, there was a seven tier plastic cake (although this one didn't even have a cutting slot!) and there was the ceremonious cascade of a bottle of champagne but none was served to the seated guests.


Yam Seng!

New notes on the list: (i) It is acceptable to turn up in jeans and a t-shirt (I pondered that this guest must usually wear a singlet and yellow wellies, so this was considered 'posh'); (ii) It is not frowned upon to be late. There is little time for idle chitter chatter. Get in, chown down, leave. Nice. Thankfully, my cousin added a little Western touch and extended the bar so we had time to drink more than we should and embarrass ourselves. Even better.

I shook hands with distant relatives and close ones, perfected my stick on smile and enjoyed the feeling of being paraded around by my mum as her special daughter who lives in Singapore. I can only imagine that many of them were wondering how much I earn and whether I take chilli but didn't have the English vocabulary to ask. My Grandad was his usual 'silent but deadly' character and had scrubbed up rather well for the occasion - a rare sighting.

- Cringeing at the new MRT jingle that makes you want to strangle the nearest auntie.



Ludicrous and funny.

- Marvelling at the biggest loser in Singapore. Can you imagine what it feels like to lose one hundred million Singapore dollars? N.B.F. = Sheldon G. Adelson. Fact. Another fact is that I won $62 at my recent visit to throw money in the Marina Bay Sands coffers. Apparently, I can be rather lucky on blackjack but suck at roulette. The Chinese band's covers of popular tunes such as Lady Gaga's Poker Face and the free flowing whisky oiled the evening along nicely.

Next up, is a trip to Kanchanaburi, Thailand and getting back into the swing of Singapore in the run up to the Christmas season... Cue a Very Sweaty Santa Claus.

Nineteenth month, summer daze

This month, we have mostly been:

Culture Vultures - The Singapore Night Festival promised eclectic performers and paraphernalia in the night sky, lightshows and a host of other nocturnal attractions. Sadly, instead of arriving to see the National Museum's expansive historic building lit up, it was only lit by the reflections of the lights from the two music shows in the foreground - one Western, one Asian. Being in the middle of the two stages was a cacophony of plinks and plonks in all the wrong places.


Street Art Under CCTV - Uncle Harry is watching

The one item of interest was the graffiti wall, but even that had 'control' stamped all over it. We ended up parking ourselves at the courtyard bar and not seeing any other acts. Fail.

Popping up - If you stand at Tanjong Beach Club and look out to sea, there's a small peninsula that juts out into the water. We were lucky to be invited to our first pop-up brunch there: bring amazing food, fine wines, a collapsible table and a makeshift cover. Add water (yes, it rained a little) and friends. A wonderful afternoon in a secluded spot with some of our favourite people. Diamond.

Soldiering on - Set in one of the most ridiculously kitted out bachelor pads in Singapore (it even has a private rooftop pool), the kids at Nomu hosted another awesome event. The only thing lacking at Apocalypse Nomu was the smell of napalm; soldiers, nurses and a whole lot of guns squeezed onto the roof until the fun police showed up to tear the party down. Someday this war's gonna end...


"I love the smell of napalm in the morning"

Being a Foodographer - I attended a food photography course hosted by acclaimed local food blogger, Dr. Leslie Tay at Tetsu Restaurant. Naturally, I was the only ang moh in the room, which made me feel mildly self-conscious when the hokkien 'in-jokes' were rolled out. Nevertheless, it was a fun afternoon eyeballing other people's cameras, some of which had lenses larger than my head.

Digging Deep at Stereolounge - After just four gigs at other night spots around Singapore, DJs Julian Moore, Dan Paris and Dash graced the stage at Stereolounge and out-lasted the main dancefloor. Pulling in the crowd that loves solid electronic sounds, the lounge had a vibrant buzz despite it being the height of the summer and the time of many Europats' holidays 'en famille'.


Everybody wants to be a DJ...

Turning Peranakan - Hidden in the row of shophouses near Tanjong Pagar Market is the home of Peranakan food, Blue Ginger. Crispy kueh pie tie, succulent otak otak, meltingly soft beef rendang, fragrant ayam buah keluak and chillified sambal terong goreng all washed down with a few glasses of the house white. A sumptuous feast, easy on the wallet and perfect for an intimate meal catching up with old friends.

Getting high - The birthday extravaganza for my husband was spectacularly held at the home of the world's longest rooftop pool, the stunning Marina Bay Sands. We checked in for two nights and enjoyed 45th floor views of the Gardens by the Bay currently under construction and the port littered with container ships of all shapes and sizes. Service was impeccable and losing S$300 in twenty minutes at the casino was a uniquely sobering experience. We knew it was time to leave when the guy next to us pulled out two S$1000 notes to exchange for chips. High rollers we ain't.


Has to be seen to be believed.

Expanding our dumpling repertoire - The Cathay was the selected venue for a chow down and catch up with an old friend from university days. Slightly cheaper than our usual haunt, Si Chuan Dou Ha, but equally solid in the dumpling stakes, this is somewhere we would return. I even liked the chicken feet - just the right amount of gristle and soya sauce flavoured skin.

Next up, is our long-awaited HONEYMOON IN JAPAN! All will be quiet on the Eastern front for a little while but stayed tuned for news of how two ang mohs coped in the hot waters and techno fields of Japan. Sayonara for now!