Not that I never feel the need to head to Orchard Road to flex my credit card, but I do try to avoid the area at the most crowded times - mid-morning to late afternoon on the weekends. I also like to support the burgeoning scene of quality independent retailers offering a little break from the norm:
Around the house:
- Strangelets - Wooden monkeys and handmade soaps to unique ceramics and illustrated notepads.
- egg3 - Funky handbags and handmade toys to painted glassware and frilly tops.
Books:
- Books Actually - Intriguing titles, handmade journals and vintage Singapore memorabilia. For heaven's sake, don't just mill around on the ground floor.
- Littered with Books - Inspiring titles, staff picks and a free cuppa. What's not to like? Be warned: Many hours may pass between entering and exiting.
Vintage:
- Granny's Day Out - A plethora of dresses, shoes, bags and jewellery from times gone by are lovingly collected and displayed for your purchasing pleasure.
- nana and bird - Scarves, belts and treasure chests. You'll be hard pressed not to find a single item that will serve as a beautifully unique gift.
Masterchef:
- ToTT (Tools of The Trade) - The place wet kitchen dreams are made, especially those featuring Jamie Oliver.
- 25 degree Celsius - Singapore's first (and therefore, best) cookbook shop. They also run recipe sessions selected from the books available in store.
Fashion:
- Boutiques at Fort Canning - This event happens every couple of months or so and features a wide range of items from some excellent designers (mainly expat wives) who have yet to open a physical store.
- Not In The Malls - An online portal gathering some of Singapore's finest 'finds' from the independent designer scene.
- Asylum - For global trend spotters and setters: if your wallet's feeling heavy, I'm sure you can unload some excess weight here in exchange for a whole lotta 'cool'.
Bonus Tip - Mixed bag:
- Hairloom & Caramel - Where else can you get a hair cut, eat a quiche lorraine and leave with a retro notepad? Simply awesome.
1. Location location location. Much like being in the hawker centre and deciding between rice or noodles, you'll at least have to make the following simple choices to narrow down your search:
- Central or 'Pretty much Malaysia'. MRT stations Newton and Marina Bay on the North-South line and Tiong Bahru and Bugis on the East-West line are the limits of what I would call Central. Outside of that, I would consider Holland Village and Portsdown Road because both areas contain pockets of properties that are full of character. I am sure you can perceive my bias for living centrally given the label for all other areas outside of those above-mentioned as 'Pretty much Malaysia'. Unless you are minted enough to own a car, or you actually enjoy long taxi rides with Uncle, I would steer clear.
- East or West. North is a non-starter unless your job is based in the Heartlands and you relish the idea of being surrounded by nothing other than a sea of residential dwellings. East wins on proximity to 'beaches' (not that you would want to swim in the rancid oil-infested waters) and the airport but unless you live in Geylang, you will be far from the MRT and you will live your life between bus stops. West has far better transport links and a greater variety of things to do: Botanic Gardens, Bukit Timah, Jurong Bird Park, The Southern Ridges to name a few.
2. To condo or not to condo?. Basically, are you willing to live without a pool so that you can live in a place with a unique character? Alternatives are:
- Registering for a black and white. Assuming you have a spare S$10,000 deposit to be in with a chance to bid and have a salary the triple of which will get you close to the sometimes astronomical rents, get involved! If you are lucky, you may find a steal and your rent will be next to nothing but, as you can imagine, those places don't come up very often so you will often spend time online ogling the houses that only CEOs can afford; S$45,000 per month? You have got to be kidding me. If you're not, can I be your friend?
- Old HDBs. Dotted around in Chinatown, Tiong Bahru and a small handful of other places are properties that have had their soul ripped out and replaced with contemporary living spaces. Your neighbour may be one hundred years old, sitting on a stool with a fan in his hand whilst you may have a weather-sensitive sliding roof and more remote controls for aircons than you know what to do with but therein lies the charm of 'real' Singapore.
- Shophouses. Around Outram Park and in Little India are some fabulously preserved shophouses complete with wooden floors and ornate carvings. Real gems, if you can find them.
3. Agents. Like'em or loathe'em the world over. It is no different here. You get some who will show you places exactly in line with your specifications (initially, it look us just four days to find a place) or others who are clueless, ignore your requests and then dog you with endless streams of text messages offering you places that are so far removed from what you want, they may as well be located on the Moon. I personally recommend Alvin Yeo who will take really good care of you in Tiong Bahru; outside of that, it's worth asking around at work or amongst your friends for someone they have used.
4. Get the movers in. If you are seriously busy (read: lazy) you can hire movers to pack everything and neatly deliver to your new place. They will even pack your underwear, if you let them. We chose a combination of us packing everything bar the large items of furniture and them delivering. It's fun to see your sofa wrapped in bubble wrap and cling film for careful transportation. That's one idea movers in the UK could learn from Singapore! Shalom Movers say they are No. 1 and we wholeheartedly agree.
5. Get yourself to the auction. Expat Auctions are held once a month and are havens for severely cut-price Oriental furniture. We recently walked away with five pieces of furniture for just S$1000. Although the process can be quite long (it takes approximately one minute per listed item to auction so be prepared to wait if you like items 23 and 188), it is fun and exhilarating bidding for your desired items. If that's not your cup o' cha, head to FairPrice Antique for similar Oriental style items at fixed (and fairly high, but not outlandish) prices. Of course, there's always Craigslist too for buyer-seller transactions involving a mix of characterful items and bog standard IKEA stuff. If you need pick-up and delivery for the odd item here and there, Mr Pang on +65 9223 6234 is an absolute legend.
1. Accept that it's a paradoxical Shopper's Paradise. For a country that has over two million malls, one might say that Singaporeans must be obsessed with retail: both online and offline. Wrong. Here, it's all about the 'look look, see see' past time of window shopping and saving on the electricity bill by cooling off in the air-conditioned surroundings of a mall rather than putting your own unit on at home. Give it time - you will catch yourself doing this at some point.
There's no Amazon, there are few pickings on eBay's empty shelves (there's no chance to bargain, you see) and even if you can buy stuff over the phone (rare), you will no doubt find the conversation 'challenging' unless you speak good Singlish (remember: it's 'oreddy' not 'already').
Fear not, if the thronging crowds of Orchard Road scare you, a plethora of items to quench your materialistic thirst awaits you in the forgotten malls of Singapore (if you know which one you need). Added to those, forums such as Singapore Expats, Adpost and Gumtree are the place to find locals of all ages selling a huge variety of secondhand items. Note: You will have to arrange a pick up yourself in person and be prepared to negotiate on the price.
2. Get used to going 'marketing'.
No, I'm not talking about business development. Here, they distinguish food shopping from other types of purchasing adventures and call it 'marketing'. So, don your best t-shirt and shorts combo, slide into your flip-flops and head to your nearest 'wet market'. Often the best place for sourcing fresh fish and quality vegetables at prices that are kind on the wallet. Warning 1: The floors can get quite slippery. Warning 2: Chinatown market even sells turtles and frogs... for consumption.
The three main contenders in the supermarket space are (in order of cost): Fair Price (it does what it says on the tin, but if you're whipping up a Western feast, you may find it challenging to grab everything on your shopping list); Carrefour (excellent for wine and cheese); and Cold Storage (you can buy everything here but certain European items are shockingly expensive). Both Fair Price and Cold Storage offer online shopping, which are solid services except that the websites are not as user-friendly as they could be.
Finally, just deal with it: alcohol is unbelievably expensive, especially when compared to the rock-bottom duty free prices charged at Changi airport. Just make sure you journey further afield than Malaysia, lest you be stopped in your tracks at the checkout on your return to Sin City. It's embarrassing, you'll look a fool and don't bother trying to pretend you're from another flight - they might wrestle you to the ground and cart you off for terrorist questioning.
3. Take up eating as a past time. Famous for their love of all things edible, Singaporeans think, talk and dream about food. During lunchtimes with your colleagues, conversations on planned or past consumption are the norm. There are huge numbers of food bloggers who you will see with their cameras out getting the best angles before diving in, bib first. Some places, like Tippling Club, even expressly forbid cameras at the dinner table lest the constant flashing annoy fellow diners.
The Singapore food bible, Makansutra actually has an index listed by dish and contributors to recommendation site, Hungry Go Where often list out their experience course by course, mouthful by mouthful. Be warned: Hungry Go Where can be infuriatingly confusing with some diners giving a restaurant the highest accolades and others labelling it as the worst dining experience in the history of mankind. I recently found this out and was involved in an online battle of the tastebuds, between myself, Massive Dynamic and low ernest. Fun!
Quick tips for eating out at (i) Hawker centres:
Carry tissues at all times to chope your seats.
Grade B is dirtier but it tastes better.
Learn to sweat while you eat (aforementioned tissues will help).
(ii) Low to mid-range restaurants:
Despite what it says on the menu, even if you order starters, all dishes will likely come at the same time.
Waiters often can't explain what is on the menu, so be patient.
If wine is on the menu, don't expect it to be anything to write home about unless you're spending more than S$70.
If you can't face leaving the house and are hungry as sin, look no further than Hungry Go Where's Delivery Service. With a huge variety of offerings, you will find something you desire. The only odd thing is that you proceed with a 'normal' online order but at the last moment, you have to call a number. Through some astonishing technical wizardry, the person at the call centre will know everything about you and you only need confirm your order, lessening the time you have to spend practicing your Singlish. Die die, must try.
Finally, be warned that Durian-flavoured anything is available. Try it if you dare.
Durianmisu anyone? Anyone?
4. Marvel at the transport options but laugh at the way they are used.
Singapore Taxi Drivers to Learn French.
Taxi: Enjoy bouncing around the back of old cabs, the smell of rotting pandan leaves (to ward away cockroaches) and odd conversations ("Dogs. Do you like dogs? I like dogs."). Whilst you may be shocked at some drivers' poor navigation skills ("I dunno, you teach me, ah?") a read of the famous Taxi Drivers' Blog (you can also now buy the book) will, no doubt, leave you feeling less angry and more compassion for those in this difficult line of work.
MRT: Despite this politeness campaign being played everyday on the MRT and large pictures of Phua Chu Kang everywhere, aunties are oblivious and will routinely barge their way to the front, when embarking and disembarking, of people waiting to board the MRT and then getting on before anyone else has had a chance to leave the train. Sadly, auntie assault is a punishable offence.
Bus: Good luck deciphering the bus network. You cannot just walk to a bus stop and figure out which bus you need to take you where you're going: the stops just list the buses stopping there and where they are going. So, unless you are naturally lucky in life, please consult gothere before you embark on a bus journey, lest you end up going from Tiong Bahru to Orchard Road via Ang Mo Kio.
Elevator: For some unknown reason, it appears to be a commonly held belief amongst Singaporeans that jabbing one's finger on the elevator button will make the deck appear faster. Being half-Singaporean, I must confess that I have found myself doing this, on the off-chance it really works. Try it for yourself and feel closer to this unique culture.
Walking: Walk at a snail's pace. That's all you need to do to walk like a local.
Driving: Pick a lane, any lane. Swerving and braking hard are all acceptable. Just don't dare to jump any red lights and for goodness sake, don't do an OJ Simpson if you are summoned by sirens.
5. Come to terms with island fever.
Apparently, the 'victim' is so traumatised that she cannot get out of bed...
Accept that you won't find much of interest in the Straits Times, and that some of your favourite websites may be blocked. Instead, charter a yacht, hire a private island, or escape to one of the many destinations you can get to for a weekend without taking any time off work (Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, and Indonesia) and enjoy the bliss of arriving back to Singapore through the world's best airport. Now that it houses the world's tallest slide (in an airport), there's all the more reason to just hang out at the airport even if you haven't got a plane to catch. For real: it's on my 'to do' list.
All in all, you will hear the following phrase on repeat: "Life in Singapore is just so easy." It's true: the weather is almost permanently superb (save for the occasional monsoon rains), good food is ubiquitous, and there's hardly any crime. One the flip side, it lacks avant-garde creativity and has been likened to a warm bath.
I'm lucky because I get to see both sides, being part local and part ang mo. It was very baffling indeed for my colleagues when I first arrived. How could they categorise this person speaking with a plummy English accent about how much they love to eat century eggs who could then flick into finely tuned Singaporean patter on the subject of contract law, hor?
If you're even faintly interested in exploring Southeast Asia and having the cash to do so, come to live and work in Singapore to experience it for yourself. It's the closest you can get to taking a gap year and seeing the world without actually having to give up your job.
Whilst it may appear that you can barely walk two block in Singapore's central shopping district without stumbling across another building site earmarked for yet another monstrous mall, we should take care to remember that there is respite from the cookie cutter luxury retail outlets... The forgotten malls of Singapore, I salute you: most were built in the late 1970s and 1980s so have withstood 20-30 years of hardcore mish-mash retail and 'look look, see see' shoppers.
1. People's Park Complex: Vintage memorabilia, DIY electronics, goldsmiths, arguably the most popular bak kua store on the island, copy watches, and a small television showing disturbing footage of someone having a blepharoplasty* (*CAUTION: not for the faint-hearted). This mall's got it all. Snack stop: Head for the small stalls outside selling edible duck parts (there are more than you initially think, trust me). Turn right and search for the fried goods stall which sells by far the best hei-piah (prawn cake) in Singapore: light, yet glutinous dough, topped with a prawn and deep-fried to perfection. Wolf it down and give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back.
2. Peninsula Plaza: Guitars, fancy dress, vintage clothes, opticians, and specialist camera stores. This is a mecca for music lovers, photographers and those who like to dress a little differently. Snack stop: It has to be Sotong Ball OnStik from Old Chang Kee.
3. Golden Mile Complex: Were you wondering where all the Thai people hang out in Singapore? Look no further. More Thai shops, clubs, barbers, travel agents and eateries than you can shake a lemongrass stick at, the mall dubbed 'Little Thailand' has it all, including an enormous supermarket. Snack stop: Clear Tom Yam soup from Diandin Leluk Thai Restaurant. (Okay, not really a snack, per se, but if you want your spicy socks blown off, don't miss this gem.)
4. Bras Basah Complex: If it's obscure books and magazines, or you're about to get crafty, this is your hang out. Art Friend is the place you need to head if you're planning to paint yourself blue, make yourself something out of felt and all other obscure creative activities. The Complex is also home to my favourite jeweller that would never make it big in the UK: Fook Hing (see above). Snack stop: Grab a coffee amongst the bookshelves at Popular's cafe or go retro and order an ice cream float at Jack's Place. Time to watch the world go by and catch up on a little reading.
5. The Peace Centre: The entire ground floor of this place is dedicated to all things 'print'. If you need to waste half a rainforest printing out your memoirs, head here and compare the prices. Be warned though, the fancy dress shop which used to exist here has now morphed into a dodgy looking 'university' - one of those ones offering 'degrees' in Needlework & Stitching, with a major in English for Beginners. Snack stop: There is a Turkish kebab place next to the main exit, which always seems fairly popular. It even has the enticing 'elephant's leg'. Check your cholesterol levels before ordering.
Finally, a special mention for most short-sighted name for a mall - Singapore Shopping Centre. Did they really think that they would be the only one?
With the announcement that the first three-Michelin-starred restaurants from Europe to set foot in Singapore have now opened, here's a quick round-up of the top five starless gastronomic adventures before Mr. Michelin and his cronies come to town.
5. Tiong Bahru Boneless Chicken Rice (#02-82, Tiong Bahru Food Centre). I am wondering, after all the free promotion this establishment gets from my blog, whether they would print me a t-shirt. Mr. Michelin should try obtaining the chilli sauce recipe. I am sure the response would be similar to Charlton Heston at an NRA Rally: "From my cold dead hands."
4. Ju Shin Jung (West Coast). If you like grilled meats, seared to perfection at your table and accompanied by 101 small plates of crunchy Korean 'tapas', this is the place for you. The quality of the meat is divine, the staff are attentive and there's nothing quite like stinking out the taxi ride home with the smell of BBQ on your clothes. Post-meal shower essential.
3. Si Chuan Dou Ha (60th floor of UOB Plaza). The view of the Marina is hard to beat: the stunning Marina Bay Sands, the Fullerton Hotel and the Esplanade glint by day and by night. If fiery food is your forte, pluck a couple of the four chilli rated dishes to tantalise your taste buds. Beware though, you should opt for some of the more sedate dishes to balance out your meal lest you turn into a fire-breathing dragon at the table. Thankfully, the tea ninjas are always on hand to put out any manageable explosions. The mesmerising act of pouring water from an incredibly long spouted kettle into your tea cup will take your mind off the burn. Deliciously challenging.
2. Kuriya Penthouse (Orchard Central). If you are adventurous and you like the taste of Japan, you must try the omakase (tasting) menu here. After ascertaining any particular dislikes or allergies, the chef will take you on a journey through some of Japan's finest and most unique ingredients. The menu changes each week and is also designed for each guest. The staff are well-versed in exactly what you are eating, can recommend wines to accompany your meal and know when to interrupt your adventure to clear, serve and pour. You can opt to enjoy your dessert on the terrace overlooking the Istana Park and you will be pleasantly surpised at the spread the chef pâtissier has put on: wonderful flavoured mousses (have as many as you like) and your own selection of fresh fruits from an enormous basket.
1. Tippling Club. Whilst the other picks have specialised in food from Singapore, Korea, China and Japan, Tippling Club surpasses them all by offering a delectable journey across the gastronomic globe. The ten course tasting menu is the essential order of the day and the fact that each dish is assembled within viewing distance adds a unique je ne sais quoi. Chef Ryan Clift and Head Bartender Matthew Bax carefully note whether you have dined there before in order to shape the menu to your extraordinarily special dining experience. Mr. Michelin - I dare you to avoid awarding at least one star to this neat little club.
I am a firm believer that if the food is exquisite but the service is poor, any meal will be immediately tainted. Somehow, the sourness of a face can turn my food bitter, and it's not just all about smiling. Service that is (i) over-zealous (constantly clearing my barely dirty plate in a Chinese restaurant or topping up my wine glass after just one sip) or (ii) lost in translation (staff unable to explain menu items and getting the orders wrong) are two of my biggest bugbears in Singapore. WHY can serving staff not understand the key points of their job? I think this will be biggest challenge in Singapore for these new Michelin kids on the block.
Find me a waiter that can explain to me why I should try the 2005 Chablis rather than the 2006 White Rioja or exactly what is in the funny looking foam on my plate and I shall shake him by the hand. Sadly, for the most part, servers here have thrown out their brains along with their staff handbooks. Thankfully, a new reality television series, Can You Serve? may be able to infiltrate this nation of surly staff. The very fact that it exists is testament to my dining woes.
Having said all this, I am very excited at the prospect of our next 'special occasion' when I shall surely plump for one of these Singapore-side Michelin-starred experiences. Having tried Michelin-starred maze and The Harwood Arms in London, I am au fait with what the accolade means for my taste buds. However, at S$50 for dessert, I would want Mr. Savoy himself to feed it to me. Mr. Michelin, if you're reading, please pass on the message.
Although I often despair at being stuck in my office cubicle, I console myself with the fact that 'it could be worse'. Here's my take on the top five WORST jobs in Singapore:
5. Shrek at Universal Studios Singapore. Enormous, heavy, furry, bright green costume + 136.8 km north of the equator = Sweat Monster.
4. Pest control worker. With no less than FOUR different types of cockroach here, all loving the heat as much as any fresh-off-the-boat expat, I'd rather die than have to deal with an infestation.
3. Party Police. Policeman on the party circuit between midnight and 4 a.m. have the patience of Hachiko. Often having to return to the same expat households weekend after weekend, and although carrying heavy weapons which could close down any party at the shout of "everybody get down", the police here are extremely placid. We just wish that they didn't turn up so early. However, given the high population density and lack of double-glazing, it is little wonder that annoyed neighbours have their fingers on the keypad in no time at all.
2. Bin man. With the daily temperature hovering around the optimum temperature for common bacteria growth, and a less-than-perfect refuse collection system in some parts of Singapore (sadly, Tiong Bahru is one), the stench of dealing with rotting household waste day after day is less than desirable.
1. Romanian diplomat. The State Coroner recently ruled that Dr. Silviu Ionescu was responsible for the death of one and serious injury of two other Singaporean residents following an alcohol-fueled hit and run debacle. One has to wonder if the case would be different if Romania was a country in which Singapore was remotely interested. Unfortunately for Silviu, it looks as if his status may soon be revoked:
