Twenty-seventh month, secret dining

This month, we have mostly been...

- Bored in Batam. Under duress, I journeyed to Batam on the 40 minute ferry ride from Harbourfront for the annual staff away day. Next time, I think I shall feign illness. Batam is dusty, unkempt and devoid of character. Harris Resort is a giant germ-infested sand pit filled with snivelling children and horrid orange decor. I thanked my lucky stars I only had to stay one night. Unfortunately, I returned to Singapore with a legacy lurgy that I picked up somewhere between the meeting room, the canteen and my bedroom. Rancid.



- Attempting to dance. Paul Kalkbrenner graced Singapore with his presence on a multi-stop world tour to promote the celebrated youth culture flick, Berlin Calling:



Sadly, the Management at Singapore's best club, Zouk, heinously mis-judged the pulling power of a popular film and showcased Paul Kalkbrenner in Velvet Underground. The tiny dancefloor was packed to the rafters. Drinks were spilled everywhere by people trying to return from the bar to their friends. I even lost my bracelet as my trailing arm became sandwiched between three masses thronging in different directions. It was utter clubbing hell. Never to be repeated.

- Shucking our own oysters. Why pay for a whole hotel buffet when you have a craving for freshly shucked oysters? Coming to a home near you... maybe. All you need to do is order your oyster knife online at eBay and wait two weeks for it to arrive. Then, take a long ride with Uncle to Greenwood Avenue, land of rich people in Singapore (you can check out their enormous houses whilst you wait for a taxi back to normal town). Visit the fish market and hand-pick your own. Return home. Try not to stab your hand and end up at Singapore General Hospital before you can say "shallot vinegar". Maybe, next time we'll just go to Culina.

- Dining 'illegally'. It should be of no surprise that Singapore is the latest place to see the sudden appearance of secret supper clubs on the gastronomic scene. For those 'in the know', these intimate dining affairs offer the chance to get to know some friends you hadn't met yet and chow down on some delicious home-cooked (but often restaurant standard) nosh. Seek and ye shall find.