Not that I never feel the need to head to Orchard Road to flex my credit card, but I do try to avoid the area at the most crowded times - mid-morning to late afternoon on the weekends. I also like to support the burgeoning scene of quality independent retailers offering a little break from the norm:
Around the house:
- Strangelets - Wooden monkeys and handmade soaps to unique ceramics and illustrated notepads.
- egg3 - Funky handbags and handmade toys to painted glassware and frilly tops.
Books:
- Books Actually - Intriguing titles, handmade journals and vintage Singapore memorabilia. For heaven's sake, don't just mill around on the ground floor.
- Littered with Books - Inspiring titles, staff picks and a free cuppa. What's not to like? Be warned: Many hours may pass between entering and exiting.
Vintage:
- Granny's Day Out - A plethora of dresses, shoes, bags and jewellery from times gone by are lovingly collected and displayed for your purchasing pleasure.
- nana and bird - Scarves, belts and treasure chests. You'll be hard pressed not to find a single item that will serve as a beautifully unique gift.
Masterchef:
- ToTT (Tools of The Trade) - The place wet kitchen dreams are made, especially those featuring Jamie Oliver.
- 25 degree Celsius - Singapore's first (and therefore, best) cookbook shop. They also run recipe sessions selected from the books available in store.
Fashion:
- Boutiques at Fort Canning - This event happens every couple of months or so and features a wide range of items from some excellent designers (mainly expat wives) who have yet to open a physical store.
- Not In The Malls - An online portal gathering some of Singapore's finest 'finds' from the independent designer scene.
- Asylum - For global trend spotters and setters: if your wallet's feeling heavy, I'm sure you can unload some excess weight here in exchange for a whole lotta 'cool'.
Bonus Tip - Mixed bag:
- Hairloom & Caramel - Where else can you get a hair cut, eat a quiche lorraine and leave with a retro notepad? Simply awesome.
1. Location location location. Much like being in the hawker centre and deciding between rice or noodles, you'll at least have to make the following simple choices to narrow down your search:
- Central or 'Pretty much Malaysia'. MRT stations Newton and Marina Bay on the North-South line and Tiong Bahru and Bugis on the East-West line are the limits of what I would call Central. Outside of that, I would consider Holland Village and Portsdown Road because both areas contain pockets of properties that are full of character. I am sure you can perceive my bias for living centrally given the label for all other areas outside of those above-mentioned as 'Pretty much Malaysia'. Unless you are minted enough to own a car, or you actually enjoy long taxi rides with Uncle, I would steer clear.
- East or West. North is a non-starter unless your job is based in the Heartlands and you relish the idea of being surrounded by nothing other than a sea of residential dwellings. East wins on proximity to 'beaches' (not that you would want to swim in the rancid oil-infested waters) and the airport but unless you live in Geylang, you will be far from the MRT and you will live your life between bus stops. West has far better transport links and a greater variety of things to do: Botanic Gardens, Bukit Timah, Jurong Bird Park, The Southern Ridges to name a few.
2. To condo or not to condo?. Basically, are you willing to live without a pool so that you can live in a place with a unique character? Alternatives are:
- Registering for a black and white. Assuming you have a spare S$10,000 deposit to be in with a chance to bid and have a salary the triple of which will get you close to the sometimes astronomical rents, get involved! If you are lucky, you may find a steal and your rent will be next to nothing but, as you can imagine, those places don't come up very often so you will often spend time online ogling the houses that only CEOs can afford; S$45,000 per month? You have got to be kidding me. If you're not, can I be your friend?
- Old HDBs. Dotted around in Chinatown, Tiong Bahru and a small handful of other places are properties that have had their soul ripped out and replaced with contemporary living spaces. Your neighbour may be one hundred years old, sitting on a stool with a fan in his hand whilst you may have a weather-sensitive sliding roof and more remote controls for aircons than you know what to do with but therein lies the charm of 'real' Singapore.
- Shophouses. Around Outram Park and in Little India are some fabulously preserved shophouses complete with wooden floors and ornate carvings. Real gems, if you can find them.
3. Agents. Like'em or loathe'em the world over. It is no different here. You get some who will show you places exactly in line with your specifications (initially, it look us just four days to find a place) or others who are clueless, ignore your requests and then dog you with endless streams of text messages offering you places that are so far removed from what you want, they may as well be located on the Moon. I personally recommend Alvin Yeo who will take really good care of you in Tiong Bahru; outside of that, it's worth asking around at work or amongst your friends for someone they have used.
4. Get the movers in. If you are seriously busy (read: lazy) you can hire movers to pack everything and neatly deliver to your new place. They will even pack your underwear, if you let them. We chose a combination of us packing everything bar the large items of furniture and them delivering. It's fun to see your sofa wrapped in bubble wrap and cling film for careful transportation. That's one idea movers in the UK could learn from Singapore! Shalom Movers say they are No. 1 and we wholeheartedly agree.
5. Get yourself to the auction. Expat Auctions are held once a month and are havens for severely cut-price Oriental furniture. We recently walked away with five pieces of furniture for just S$1000. Although the process can be quite long (it takes approximately one minute per listed item to auction so be prepared to wait if you like items 23 and 188), it is fun and exhilarating bidding for your desired items. If that's not your cup o' cha, head to FairPrice Antique for similar Oriental style items at fixed (and fairly high, but not outlandish) prices. Of course, there's always Craigslist too for buyer-seller transactions involving a mix of characterful items and bog standard IKEA stuff. If you need pick-up and delivery for the odd item here and there, Mr Pang on +65 9223 6234 is an absolute legend.
For a country where it usually hovers around 30-31°C, this is positively chilly!
- Feeling a little chilly. This year, the rainy season has been on its true form and we have had many more prolonged thunderstorms. Whilst we had been stifling our laughter at our local friends who have been complaining of the 'cold weather', we were shocked to see the temperature gauge read a measly 24 degrees Celsius the other day! Lowest on record since we have been here. That evening coincided with our friend giving us a lift back to base in a borrowed BMW convertible. It was the first time I had felt goosebumps outside in Singapore and it wasn't just down to him 'testing' the accelerator.
- Looking for and finding a new home! Check out my top tips on preparing for moving day. Fear not, we are still in our beloved Tiong Bahru, having moved approximately two hundred paces down the road to be in a slightly larger unit. We are now even closer to the market and live directly above Yes Natural, one of the jewels in the crown of the independent stores in the estate.
- Loving the view but hating the food. We decided to take our visiting friend to enjoy the views from the highest restaurant in Singapore (282m). Sadly, Stellar did not live up to its name. Over-zealous air-conditioning, underwhelming food. We were served by five different staff - one to take our order, one for drinks, two for food and another one for the bill. What a shame the bill was wrong - we had to track down the duck egg who took our order to prove that we had ordered the Aberdeen Angus and not the Wagyu. We were informed that we had actually been served the Wagyu (not that you could tell) but they were kind enough (and rightly so) to reduce the price accordingly. Sadly, that wasn't enough to ever entice us back as the word 'sorry' was not heard even once during this whole stellar ordeal.
- Avoiding the crowds. Check out my top tips on alternative gift shopping.
Next up, we shall be keeping our fingers crossed that although we do not have a chimney or any snow, Santa will still remember to fly over Singapore to deposit some gifts under our tree.
- Marvelling at the Singapore advertising standards. Check out the current prizes on offer:
UOB - Win A Trip To Anywhere*.
'What? Even to the Moon?!' DBS - Win a condominium.
A whole condominium? Wow, that's like having 150 bedrooms. Cool!
Naturally, I immediately checked the Terms and Conditions and was sad to note that the 'Trip To Anywhere' would have to be purchased with the real prize of S$6000 of UOB Travel Vouchers (I do not believe they are currently dealing in Moon tourism) and the definition of 'condominium' is actually a 980 square feet, 2-bedroom unit (#03-13) at Oasis@Elias, which is expected to receive its Temporary Occupation Period ('T.O.P.') in December 2012. Misleading advertising at its best.
Next up is the run up to another hot and sweaty Christmas in the tropics. Looking forward to hearing hits such as 'I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas' blasting through the airwaves in all the shopping malls. Brilliant.
The order of the day was a weekend of chilling with a little splash of culture. Kanchanburi, just two-and-a-half hours from Bangkok fitted the bill. We skipped over to Bangkok to stay at the Siamese Views Lodge for the night ('boutique' = 'basic', rather than 'trendy' in this instance) and enjoyed an evening stroll down the Khao San Road - land of henna tattoos, deep fried beetles, fake ID cards and I ♥ Boyfriend t-shirts.
The next morning, we were picked up early by our driver arranged through Xanadu 2008, where we were to stay for the following three days. Run by Dennis from the UK and his Thai wife, Nee, it was a homely place perfect for peaceful contemplation outside of the backpacker vibe in central Kanchanaburi.
Famous for being the home of The Bridge over the River Kwai (formerly the Mae Klong River before it was re-named), the majority of Kanchanaburi's delights lie away from the main tourist drag.
All are welcome
Sadly, the centre is over-populated with seedy bars offering Western food by day and sex tourism by night. Many also stop off to get their dreadlocks repaired or grab another henna tattoo before their onward trip to discover 'The Beach'. A little bit of culture before staying up for 48 hours dancing to psy-trance never hurt anybody, right?
We hired a motorbike (despite being licence-free) and journeyed off to the Erawan Waterfalls. A straight road takes you right to the doorstep of seven levels of refreshing azure plunge pools. Our young legs took us up to level five where our feet were tickled by the gentle caresses and occasional nips from the resident fish.
The only spoilers were the two over-sized Russians who 'spoke' only in sign language and who rudely motioned for me to move from where I was sitting so that they could take photos of each other posing in their skintight Speedos.
Before scooting back to base, we detoured to the Phra That Caves - a monstrous cavern hidden at the top of approximately one million steps (okay, the equivalent of doing twenty-five minutes on a poorly calibrated step machine). As we were the only visitors at the time (and it was the last week of low season), the usual cave lighting was off meaning that we had a one on one guide lit by a kerosene lamp. The experience allowed me to re-live my childhood fear of the dark and it was all topped off when the lamp was shone on a white snake coiled around the fence about 30cm from my left foot. That's when I momentarily lost my sense of humour and was glad to squeeze back through the gap in the rocks known as the exit.
We are never disappointed with Thailand. Great food, beautifully kind people and a huge variety of breathtaking and thought-provoking attractions. There's something for everyone - even dirty old men looking for a cheap date. Kanchanaburi, for us, was a superb place for some R&R whilst having enough to see and do that kept our brains from turning to mush.
- Recovering from our immense honeymoon in Japan. Started my new job on 28 September and am loving life as a Cultural Diplomat - Director of Creativity at The British Council. It's definitely one of those jobs they don't tell you about in school.
- Entertaining family and friends. My parents, sister and family, cousin and our good friend, Hannah, descended on Singapore in quick succession which precipitated an extension of the over-eating and excessive drinking sessions that we enjoyed on our honeymoon. Putting the diet off until 2011, methinks. Particular highlights were a sumptuous Peranakan meal at Candlenut Kitchen (their ayam buah keluak is a die die must try) and Noble House for exquisite dim sum.
- Meeting Great Aunties and Uncles that I never knew existed. The setting for my cousin's Chinese wedding was the beautiful Four Seasons - just the right amount of gaudy chic. This being my second Chinese wedding, I was keen to compare notes with the previous wedding I had attended. As before, there was a seven tier plastic cake (although this one didn't even have a cutting slot!) and there was the ceremonious cascade of a bottle of champagne but none was served to the seated guests.
Yam Seng!
New notes on the list: (i) It is acceptable to turn up in jeans and a t-shirt (I pondered that this guest must usually wear a singlet and yellow wellies, so this was considered 'posh'); (ii) It is not frowned upon to be late. There is little time for idle chitter chatter. Get in, chown down, leave. Nice. Thankfully, my cousin added a little Western touch and extended the bar so we had time to drink more than we should and embarrass ourselves. Even better.
I shook hands with distant relatives and close ones, perfected my stick on smile and enjoyed the feeling of being paraded around by my mum as her special daughter who lives in Singapore. I can only imagine that many of them were wondering how much I earn and whether I take chilli but didn't have the English vocabulary to ask. My Grandad was his usual 'silent but deadly' character and had scrubbed up rather well for the occasion - a rare sighting.
- Cringeing at the new MRT jingle that makes you want to strangle the nearest auntie.
Ludicrous and funny.
- Marvelling at the biggest loser in Singapore. Can you imagine what it feels like to lose one hundred million Singapore dollars? N.B.F. = Sheldon G. Adelson. Fact. Another fact is that I won $62 at my recent visit to throw money in the Marina Bay Sands coffers. Apparently, I can be rather lucky on blackjack but suck at roulette. The Chinese band's covers of popular tunes such as Lady Gaga's Poker Face and the free flowing whisky oiled the evening along nicely.
Next up, is a trip to Kanchanaburi, Thailand and getting back into the swing of Singapore in the run up to the Christmas season... Cue a Very Sweaty Santa Claus.
Culture Vultures - The Singapore Night Festival promised eclectic performers and paraphernalia in the night sky, lightshows and a host of other nocturnal attractions. Sadly, instead of arriving to see the National Museum's expansive historic building lit up, it was only lit by the reflections of the lights from the two music shows in the foreground - one Western, one Asian. Being in the middle of the two stages was a cacophony of plinks and plonks in all the wrong places.
The one item of interest was the graffiti wall, but even that had 'control' stamped all over it. We ended up parking ourselves at the courtyard bar and not seeing any other acts. Fail.
Popping up - If you stand at Tanjong Beach Club and look out to sea, there's a small peninsula that juts out into the water. We were lucky to be invited to our first pop-up brunch there: bring amazing food, fine wines, a collapsible table and a makeshift cover. Add water (yes, it rained a little) and friends. A wonderful afternoon in a secluded spot with some of our favourite people. Diamond.
Soldiering on - Set in one of the most ridiculously kitted out bachelor pads in Singapore (it even has a private rooftop pool), the kids at Nomu hosted another awesome event. The only thing lacking at Apocalypse Nomu was the smell of napalm; soldiers, nurses and a whole lot of guns squeezed onto the roof until the fun police showed up to tear the party down. Someday this war's gonna end...
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning"
Being a Foodographer - I attended a food photography course hosted by acclaimed local food blogger, Dr. Leslie Tay at Tetsu Restaurant. Naturally, I was the only ang moh in the room, which made me feel mildly self-conscious when the hokkien 'in-jokes' were rolled out. Nevertheless, it was a fun afternoon eyeballing other people's cameras, some of which had lenses larger than my head.
Digging Deep at Stereolounge - After just four gigs at other night spots around Singapore, DJs Julian Moore, Dan Paris and Dash graced the stage at Stereolounge and out-lasted the main dancefloor. Pulling in the crowd that loves solid electronic sounds, the lounge had a vibrant buzz despite it being the height of the summer and the time of many Europats' holidays 'en famille'.
Everybody wants to be a DJ...
Turning Peranakan - Hidden in the row of shophouses near Tanjong Pagar Market is the home of Peranakan food, Blue Ginger. Crispy kueh pie tie, succulent otak otak, meltingly soft beef rendang, fragrant ayam buah keluak and chillified sambal terong goreng all washed down with a few glasses of the house white. A sumptuous feast, easy on the wallet and perfect for an intimate meal catching up with old friends.
Getting high - The birthday extravaganza for my husband was spectacularly held at the home of the world's longest rooftop pool, the stunning Marina Bay Sands. We checked in for two nights and enjoyed 45th floor views of the Gardens by the Bay currently under construction and the port littered with container ships of all shapes and sizes. Service was impeccable and losing S$300 in twenty minutes at the casino was a uniquely sobering experience. We knew it was time to leave when the guy next to us pulled out two S$1000 notes to exchange for chips. High rollers we ain't.
Has to be seen to be believed.
Expanding our dumpling repertoire - The Cathay was the selected venue for a chow down and catch up with an old friend from university days. Slightly cheaper than our usual haunt, Si Chuan Dou Ha, but equally solid in the dumpling stakes, this is somewhere we would return. I even liked the chicken feet - just the right amount of gristle and soya sauce flavoured skin.
Next up, is our long-awaited HONEYMOON IN JAPAN! All will be quiet on the Eastern front for a little while but stayed tuned for news of how two ang mohs coped in the hot waters and techno fields of Japan. Sayonara for now!
"Summer Time" in Singapore = Party Central... This month, we have mostly been slammin' it hard...
Party at The Plantation - Set in the midst of the Portsdown jungle is a very special place: hidden from the masses, nature all around... Man, our friend knows how to throw a good party. Catered by Fine Palate, the order of the day is "drink the bar... dry". We say, "CAN!"
Celebrating Father's Day - Out for dinner with my Grandad and all of my aunts and uncles... The spot we chose was in deepest darkest Serangoon Gardens. The queue was immense. We had even booked a table but had to stand outside to wait for those lucky people inside to finish wiping the corners of their mouths. A feast ensued ~ I think my family thought I looked like a refugee that hadn't eaten in a month. True gluttony at its finest hour. That's what happens when you're not picking up the tab.
Another birthday, another boat party - And why not? We live on an island surrounded by rancid, oil-infested waters. What better than to get on a boat and assume the position of "drink to forget"? This time, we opted for the ultimate in P*I*M*P luxury and spent thirteen hours on a trimaran with no less than six flatscreen TVs in the lower deck. A day in the life of a celebrity. For real. Do it, before you die.
Interim documentaries - When not abusing our livers, we like nothing better than to lock the door and watch Storyville documentaries. Recommended this month is Kim Jong Il's Comedy Club - a story about three Danish 'dudes' (for want of a better phrase - watch it, you'll agree) who travel to North Korea on the pretense that they are a small Danish theatre troupe on a cultural exchange. It's difficult to find something so touching yet hilarious, political yet sentimental in the world wide web of moving image.
Third time lucky, Rawa - Once, twice, three times a lady! It's just too alluring...
Next up is an attempt to detox with marginally less partying until hubby's amazing surprise birthday... It's going to be a big one... Stay tuned!
This time, we had vowed not to be up until 6 am BOTH nights. Our plan to stave off the deadly poison on Friday was hampered by arriving at Mersing only to discover that the tides were too low for the speedboat to take us to paradise. All fifteen of us ended up being transported to a local hotel room suite where the "this will end in tears" game of Ring of Fire ensued, interrupted only by a few bouts of Charades and the snores of those for whom the bed had been too enticing. Five and a half hours later, we finally arrived on Pulau Rawa for the intense carnage to continue on Saturday when another fifteen reprobates displaced from Singapore (aka friends) arrived. Cue vigourous amounts of chillaxation, chats about life, the universe and everything, lip-smackingly delicious grub and a whole lotta P*A*R*T*Y.
1. Accept that it's a paradoxical Shopper's Paradise. For a country that has over two million malls, one might say that Singaporeans must be obsessed with retail: both online and offline. Wrong. Here, it's all about the 'look look, see see' past time of window shopping and saving on the electricity bill by cooling off in the air-conditioned surroundings of a mall rather than putting your own unit on at home. Give it time - you will catch yourself doing this at some point.
There's no Amazon, there are few pickings on eBay's empty shelves (there's no chance to bargain, you see) and even if you can buy stuff over the phone (rare), you will no doubt find the conversation 'challenging' unless you speak good Singlish (remember: it's 'oreddy' not 'already').
Fear not, if the thronging crowds of Orchard Road scare you, a plethora of items to quench your materialistic thirst awaits you in the forgotten malls of Singapore (if you know which one you need). Added to those, forums such as Singapore Expats, Adpost and Gumtree are the place to find locals of all ages selling a huge variety of secondhand items. Note: You will have to arrange a pick up yourself in person and be prepared to negotiate on the price.
2. Get used to going 'marketing'.
No, I'm not talking about business development. Here, they distinguish food shopping from other types of purchasing adventures and call it 'marketing'. So, don your best t-shirt and shorts combo, slide into your flip-flops and head to your nearest 'wet market'. Often the best place for sourcing fresh fish and quality vegetables at prices that are kind on the wallet. Warning 1: The floors can get quite slippery. Warning 2: Chinatown market even sells turtles and frogs... for consumption.
The three main contenders in the supermarket space are (in order of cost): Fair Price (it does what it says on the tin, but if you're whipping up a Western feast, you may find it challenging to grab everything on your shopping list); Carrefour (excellent for wine and cheese); and Cold Storage (you can buy everything here but certain European items are shockingly expensive). Both Fair Price and Cold Storage offer online shopping, which are solid services except that the websites are not as user-friendly as they could be.
Finally, just deal with it: alcohol is unbelievably expensive, especially when compared to the rock-bottom duty free prices charged at Changi airport. Just make sure you journey further afield than Malaysia, lest you be stopped in your tracks at the checkout on your return to Sin City. It's embarrassing, you'll look a fool and don't bother trying to pretend you're from another flight - they might wrestle you to the ground and cart you off for terrorist questioning.
3. Take up eating as a past time. Famous for their love of all things edible, Singaporeans think, talk and dream about food. During lunchtimes with your colleagues, conversations on planned or past consumption are the norm. There are huge numbers of food bloggers who you will see with their cameras out getting the best angles before diving in, bib first. Some places, like Tippling Club, even expressly forbid cameras at the dinner table lest the constant flashing annoy fellow diners.
The Singapore food bible, Makansutra actually has an index listed by dish and contributors to recommendation site, Hungry Go Where often list out their experience course by course, mouthful by mouthful. Be warned: Hungry Go Where can be infuriatingly confusing with some diners giving a restaurant the highest accolades and others labelling it as the worst dining experience in the history of mankind. I recently found this out and was involved in an online battle of the tastebuds, between myself, Massive Dynamic and low ernest. Fun!
Quick tips for eating out at (i) Hawker centres:
Carry tissues at all times to chope your seats.
Grade B is dirtier but it tastes better.
Learn to sweat while you eat (aforementioned tissues will help).
(ii) Low to mid-range restaurants:
Despite what it says on the menu, even if you order starters, all dishes will likely come at the same time.
Waiters often can't explain what is on the menu, so be patient.
If wine is on the menu, don't expect it to be anything to write home about unless you're spending more than S$70.
If you can't face leaving the house and are hungry as sin, look no further than Hungry Go Where's Delivery Service. With a huge variety of offerings, you will find something you desire. The only odd thing is that you proceed with a 'normal' online order but at the last moment, you have to call a number. Through some astonishing technical wizardry, the person at the call centre will know everything about you and you only need confirm your order, lessening the time you have to spend practicing your Singlish. Die die, must try.
Finally, be warned that Durian-flavoured anything is available. Try it if you dare.
Durianmisu anyone? Anyone?
4. Marvel at the transport options but laugh at the way they are used.
Singapore Taxi Drivers to Learn French.
Taxi: Enjoy bouncing around the back of old cabs, the smell of rotting pandan leaves (to ward away cockroaches) and odd conversations ("Dogs. Do you like dogs? I like dogs."). Whilst you may be shocked at some drivers' poor navigation skills ("I dunno, you teach me, ah?") a read of the famous Taxi Drivers' Blog (you can also now buy the book) will, no doubt, leave you feeling less angry and more compassion for those in this difficult line of work.
MRT: Despite this politeness campaign being played everyday on the MRT and large pictures of Phua Chu Kang everywhere, aunties are oblivious and will routinely barge their way to the front, when embarking and disembarking, of people waiting to board the MRT and then getting on before anyone else has had a chance to leave the train. Sadly, auntie assault is a punishable offence.
Bus: Good luck deciphering the bus network. You cannot just walk to a bus stop and figure out which bus you need to take you where you're going: the stops just list the buses stopping there and where they are going. So, unless you are naturally lucky in life, please consult gothere before you embark on a bus journey, lest you end up going from Tiong Bahru to Orchard Road via Ang Mo Kio.
Elevator: For some unknown reason, it appears to be a commonly held belief amongst Singaporeans that jabbing one's finger on the elevator button will make the deck appear faster. Being half-Singaporean, I must confess that I have found myself doing this, on the off-chance it really works. Try it for yourself and feel closer to this unique culture.
Walking: Walk at a snail's pace. That's all you need to do to walk like a local.
Driving: Pick a lane, any lane. Swerving and braking hard are all acceptable. Just don't dare to jump any red lights and for goodness sake, don't do an OJ Simpson if you are summoned by sirens.
5. Come to terms with island fever.
Apparently, the 'victim' is so traumatised that she cannot get out of bed...
Accept that you won't find much of interest in the Straits Times, and that some of your favourite websites may be blocked. Instead, charter a yacht, hire a private island, or escape to one of the many destinations you can get to for a weekend without taking any time off work (Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, and Indonesia) and enjoy the bliss of arriving back to Singapore through the world's best airport. Now that it houses the world's tallest slide (in an airport), there's all the more reason to just hang out at the airport even if you haven't got a plane to catch. For real: it's on my 'to do' list.
All in all, you will hear the following phrase on repeat: "Life in Singapore is just so easy." It's true: the weather is almost permanently superb (save for the occasional monsoon rains), good food is ubiquitous, and there's hardly any crime. One the flip side, it lacks avant-garde creativity and has been likened to a warm bath.
I'm lucky because I get to see both sides, being part local and part ang mo. It was very baffling indeed for my colleagues when I first arrived. How could they categorise this person speaking with a plummy English accent about how much they love to eat century eggs who could then flick into finely tuned Singaporean patter on the subject of contract law, hor?
If you're even faintly interested in exploring Southeast Asia and having the cash to do so, come to live and work in Singapore to experience it for yourself. It's the closest you can get to taking a gap year and seeing the world without actually having to give up your job.
Basking in the glow of post-marriage smugdom, this month we have mostly been:
- Chillaxing at the 'old KM8', Tanjong Beach Club. Swank, sun-kissed scantily clad ladies, and a whole lotta champagne and cocktails are the order of the day. What used to be the weekend hangout for the Sunday smash heads in Singapore has been converted into a rather posh venue, complete with sparkly infinity pool and a brightly lit restaurant. Upmarket beach parties have come to stay.
- Making the cut at the Survival Chic launch party. Held at the elegant La Villa on River Valley Road, Virginia Brumby and Christophe Ferreira hosted the launch for their inside knowledge membership club, Survival Chic. Members enjoy two main benefits: (i) 30% off the entire bill on their first visit to each handpicked partner: upscale restaurants and bars, wine shops, yacht hire, spas, cooking and art classes; and (ii) Invitations and special treatment at carefully selected lifestyle events: art openings, wine tastings, special dinners, film festivals, and polo. Sign up now!
- Street-fighting. There's nothing like a good dressing up theme to get me in the mood for a party. My definition of 'good' is simply a theme that I can manage with household items. Note: Yes, those are shower puffs on my head.
- Attending a preview of John Clang's exhibition. Hailing from Singapore, but now displaced in New York, photographer John Clang's work is both personal and innovative. Super-imposing himself onto a Skype call screen, ripping up photos and putting them back together again and taking shots through circular holes are all in his repertoire. Thought-provoking and intriguing images - the exhibition is on until 3 July at new gallery, 2902.
Up next month is the long-awaited opening of Marina Bay Sands, another pimping boat party and more house parties before people start shooting off for their 'summer' holidays.
Whilst it may appear that you can barely walk two block in Singapore's central shopping district without stumbling across another building site earmarked for yet another monstrous mall, we should take care to remember that there is respite from the cookie cutter luxury retail outlets... The forgotten malls of Singapore, I salute you: most were built in the late 1970s and 1980s so have withstood 20-30 years of hardcore mish-mash retail and 'look look, see see' shoppers.
1. People's Park Complex: Vintage memorabilia, DIY electronics, goldsmiths, arguably the most popular bak kua store on the island, copy watches, and a small television showing disturbing footage of someone having a blepharoplasty* (*CAUTION: not for the faint-hearted). This mall's got it all. Snack stop: Head for the small stalls outside selling edible duck parts (there are more than you initially think, trust me). Turn right and search for the fried goods stall which sells by far the best hei-piah (prawn cake) in Singapore: light, yet glutinous dough, topped with a prawn and deep-fried to perfection. Wolf it down and give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back.
2. Peninsula Plaza: Guitars, fancy dress, vintage clothes, opticians, and specialist camera stores. This is a mecca for music lovers, photographers and those who like to dress a little differently. Snack stop: It has to be Sotong Ball OnStik from Old Chang Kee.
3. Golden Mile Complex: Were you wondering where all the Thai people hang out in Singapore? Look no further. More Thai shops, clubs, barbers, travel agents and eateries than you can shake a lemongrass stick at, the mall dubbed 'Little Thailand' has it all, including an enormous supermarket. Snack stop: Clear Tom Yam soup from Diandin Leluk Thai Restaurant. (Okay, not really a snack, per se, but if you want your spicy socks blown off, don't miss this gem.)
4. Bras Basah Complex: If it's obscure books and magazines, or you're about to get crafty, this is your hang out. Art Friend is the place you need to head if you're planning to paint yourself blue, make yourself something out of felt and all other obscure creative activities. The Complex is also home to my favourite jeweller that would never make it big in the UK: Fook Hing (see above). Snack stop: Grab a coffee amongst the bookshelves at Popular's cafe or go retro and order an ice cream float at Jack's Place. Time to watch the world go by and catch up on a little reading.
5. The Peace Centre: The entire ground floor of this place is dedicated to all things 'print'. If you need to waste half a rainforest printing out your memoirs, head here and compare the prices. Be warned though, the fancy dress shop which used to exist here has now morphed into a dodgy looking 'university' - one of those ones offering 'degrees' in Needlework & Stitching, with a major in English for Beginners. Snack stop: There is a Turkish kebab place next to the main exit, which always seems fairly popular. It even has the enticing 'elephant's leg'. Check your cholesterol levels before ordering.
Finally, a special mention for most short-sighted name for a mall - Singapore Shopping Centre. Did they really think that they would be the only one?
With the announcement that the first three-Michelin-starred restaurants from Europe to set foot in Singapore have now opened, here's a quick round-up of the top five starless gastronomic adventures before Mr. Michelin and his cronies come to town.
5. Tiong Bahru Boneless Chicken Rice (#02-82, Tiong Bahru Food Centre). I am wondering, after all the free promotion this establishment gets from my blog, whether they would print me a t-shirt. Mr. Michelin should try obtaining the chilli sauce recipe. I am sure the response would be similar to Charlton Heston at an NRA Rally: "From my cold dead hands."
4. Ju Shin Jung (West Coast). If you like grilled meats, seared to perfection at your table and accompanied by 101 small plates of crunchy Korean 'tapas', this is the place for you. The quality of the meat is divine, the staff are attentive and there's nothing quite like stinking out the taxi ride home with the smell of BBQ on your clothes. Post-meal shower essential.
3. Si Chuan Dou Ha (60th floor of UOB Plaza). The view of the Marina is hard to beat: the stunning Marina Bay Sands, the Fullerton Hotel and the Esplanade glint by day and by night. If fiery food is your forte, pluck a couple of the four chilli rated dishes to tantalise your taste buds. Beware though, you should opt for some of the more sedate dishes to balance out your meal lest you turn into a fire-breathing dragon at the table. Thankfully, the tea ninjas are always on hand to put out any manageable explosions. The mesmerising act of pouring water from an incredibly long spouted kettle into your tea cup will take your mind off the burn. Deliciously challenging.
2. Kuriya Penthouse (Orchard Central). If you are adventurous and you like the taste of Japan, you must try the omakase (tasting) menu here. After ascertaining any particular dislikes or allergies, the chef will take you on a journey through some of Japan's finest and most unique ingredients. The menu changes each week and is also designed for each guest. The staff are well-versed in exactly what you are eating, can recommend wines to accompany your meal and know when to interrupt your adventure to clear, serve and pour. You can opt to enjoy your dessert on the terrace overlooking the Istana Park and you will be pleasantly surpised at the spread the chef pâtissier has put on: wonderful flavoured mousses (have as many as you like) and your own selection of fresh fruits from an enormous basket.
1. Tippling Club. Whilst the other picks have specialised in food from Singapore, Korea, China and Japan, Tippling Club surpasses them all by offering a delectable journey across the gastronomic globe. The ten course tasting menu is the essential order of the day and the fact that each dish is assembled within viewing distance adds a unique je ne sais quoi. Chef Ryan Clift and Head Bartender Matthew Bax carefully note whether you have dined there before in order to shape the menu to your extraordinarily special dining experience. Mr. Michelin - I dare you to avoid awarding at least one star to this neat little club.
I am a firm believer that if the food is exquisite but the service is poor, any meal will be immediately tainted. Somehow, the sourness of a face can turn my food bitter, and it's not just all about smiling. Service that is (i) over-zealous (constantly clearing my barely dirty plate in a Chinese restaurant or topping up my wine glass after just one sip) or (ii) lost in translation (staff unable to explain menu items and getting the orders wrong) are two of my biggest bugbears in Singapore. WHY can serving staff not understand the key points of their job? I think this will be biggest challenge in Singapore for these new Michelin kids on the block.
Find me a waiter that can explain to me why I should try the 2005 Chablis rather than the 2006 White Rioja or exactly what is in the funny looking foam on my plate and I shall shake him by the hand. Sadly, for the most part, servers here have thrown out their brains along with their staff handbooks. Thankfully, a new reality television series, Can You Serve? may be able to infiltrate this nation of surly staff. The very fact that it exists is testament to my dining woes.
Having said all this, I am very excited at the prospect of our next 'special occasion' when I shall surely plump for one of these Singapore-side Michelin-starred experiences. Having tried Michelin-starred maze and The Harwood Arms in London, I am au fait with what the accolade means for my taste buds. However, at S$50 for dessert, I would want Mr. Savoy himself to feed it to me. Mr. Michelin, if you're reading, please pass on the message.
Eyes closed, bed-head firmly on and still in my pyjamas. I float past the hawker stalls at Tiong Bahru Market, each one conjuring an image in my mind: dark green pyramids gradually morph into bak chang, white spheres form fish balls, and striped half-moon shapes and yellow swirls change into a steaming bowl of Hokkien prawn mee. What to have for breakfast? How long will the queue for Pork Rib Prawn Noodle be today?
My slumber is interrupted by my fiercely growling stomach. My eyes crack open to see 09:31. Aargh! Better hurry lest Stanley be sold out of chickens! I run through the shower, pull on my best shorts and t-shirt combo and manage to motivate my bag-carrier (also known as my husband) to accompany me.
First up: shopping. We visit #01-171 - Stanley's Fresh Chicken & Duck Suppliers - and are lucky to get his last kampong chicken, which I will later convert into a fabulous kari ayam using the spices recommended by Stanley’s wife. Next up, we select our pick of the day’s fresh fish from the couple at #01-134. They recommend a bright-eyed white pomfret for steaming with ginger and spring onions and some purple-speckled squid for deep-frying with salt and pepper. We complement our protein purchases with hand-picked organic vegetables, fresh coconut milk and a variety of sauces and spices from the stalls in the outer ring.
Reward time: eating. Bag-laden, my husband clambers onto one of the escalators reminiscent of a sweeping staircase in a grand mansion. This way to food heaven. The humid air is heavy with a melting pot of fragrances: fried garlic, shallots and ginger; boiling chicken stock; and roasted meats. The clang of metal pots and the sizzle of hot woks can just be heard over the hawker’s cries of “ni yao submoke? / what do you want?”; “chilli?”; and “having here?” mixed with the excited chatter of the diners.
We chope our seats with our shopping bags and wander off as hunter-gatherers on a mission to secure the best breakfast item. By now, it’s near 11:00 so anything goes and the more chilli, the better in my book. The first decision in the process is ‘rice or noodles?’ and once that’s been established, deciding whether you’re in the mood for seafood, meat or just vegetables will help you narrow down your choice to a handful of stalls. Next, quality of chilli or chilli sauce is vital if you are partial to a bit of ‘zing’ and finally, the size of the queue relative to your hunger will determine your selection.
On this day, my husband plumps for his ‘usual’. The queue at #02-72 - Yuan Ji Fishball Noodle - is perennially long due to a mixture of popularity and the physical limitations of how fast an uncle’s hands can boil noodles and fish balls, add chilli, mix the sauce, throw in some pork scratchings, and sprinkle a few sprigs of coriander.
Meanwhile, I have joined the marginally shorter queue for my favourite dish at #02-82 - Tiong Bahru Boneless Chicken Rice. This is, in my humble opinion, the best chicken rice in the market; succulent chicken, tasty soup, and fragrant rice comes with a side of preserved vegetable. I plump for the upsized portion. It was a hard week in the office. I douse my rice with a generous helping of their divine chilli sauce to set my palate on fire and I meander back through the crowds to our table.
Ten lip-smacking minutes later, we are sipping thick dark coffee from #02-03 – Kopi Museum – and fresh velvety soya bean from #02-69 - Teck Seng Soya Bean Milk. The beasts in our bellies have ceased their growling and we are nearing the edge of a food-induced coma. We gather our bags and waddle towards the exit, stopping at #02-18 - Tiong Bahru Pau - to grab some egg custard tarts for our afternoon snack.
We pass the amusing red clog wearing uncle at #02-38 - Tiong Bahru Roasted Pig Specialist - who gives us a wave and a toothy grin as he shouts, “When you next time come buy pig?” “Soon, soon!” I reply, as I make a mental note to fix the date for our next roasted suckling pig party.
We exit the market into the hot sun and scurry for the cover of the five foot way. We glimpse the queue at Loo's Hainanese Curry Rice (57 Eng Hoon Street #01-88) and agree that we will forgo our usual market breakfast the following day for a Sunday session of sampling the curry that famously takes three days to make. Almost at home, we pass Le Le Pot (58 Seng Poh Road #01-23) and decide that we will treat our friends to a sumptuous steamboat feast next week.
We clamber up the stairs and fall effortlessly onto the sofa. From the window, we can see a seemingly endless stream of people, like ants on a foraging mission from their nest, heading towards the market. We sit back and relax into our post-breakfast glow and I slowly prepare myself for spending an afternoon in the kitchen cooking for the next instalment of the Tiong Bahru Tasting Club.
Glossary: • Bak chang: Glutinous rice wrapped in lotus leaves with a meat or bean paste filling. • Fish balls: Balls made of fish meat that has been finely pulverized and shaped by hand. • Prawn mee: A dish of egg noodles and rice noodles in a fragrant stock, which is made from both fresh and dried prawns. • Kampong chicken: Free-range chicken. • Kari ayam: Malaysian curry chicken. • Chope: to reserve a seat, usually by placing a packet of tissue paper on it. • Chicken rice: Steamed white chicken, cut into bite-size pieces and served on fragrant rice accompanied by a delicious garlic-chili dip. • Steamboat: A simmering pot of stock in which a variety of fresh ingredients are cooked at the table.
Trying to be cost-conscious, we opted to fly back Qantas (saving a princely sum of S$1200). We later vowed never again to stray from the Singapore Airlines crew. Not only was it almost two hours before any drinks were served (at the same time as our meal), I overheard one hostess lean over to a passenger and say, "Are you sure you don't want a drink? We won't be coming round for another nine hours." And she wasn't lying. The entire rest of the journey, I imagined the Qantas crew to be playing a game of hide and seek. They were clearly so well-practised at the game that not one of the passengers could find them. Later, during our descent, a Ukrainian lady in the adjacent row was having difficulty understanding the landing card requirements. Helpfully, the steward advised her in a British accent fit for a chav, "Sorry love, I just don't speak what you speak" before walking away. It was left to the surrounding passengers to pick up the pieces. Appalling. Added to this, the crew looked like extras from the set of Home & Away - more interested in their bicep curls and make up than service with a smile. Qantas, if you ever want me to fly with you again, offer me a seat in First Class, in which maybe, just maybe, you might have something a little closer to Economy Class on Singapore Airlines.
The wedding day itself, in stark contrast, was truly Carlsberg Class - probably the best in the world. Bias is a wonderful thing. Tone Dale House provided the perfect setting for a quintessential English country wedding. Thirty one of our dear friends stayed with us in the House for the long weekend, pitching in to make meals together and indulging in a fair amount of merry-making. Our day went without a single hitch and all of our guests had a thoroughly enjoyable time. Job well done. Our high recommendations also go to Jon Bradley and Rentabooth, essential for excellent recording of the best day of our lives to date.
To bask in our post-wedding glow, we stayed in the Grade II listed Ostlers House and enjoyed a delightful stroll around Lacock, whose Abbey was the setting of Hogwarts in the Harry Potter movies. A combination of pub grub, exquisite dinners and one home-cooked meal ensued with a few glasses of bubbly along the way. Mini-moon: tick.
On our return to London, we had arranged for a meal to say one last goodbye to our friends. Shunning all of the usual offerings, we plumped for a night at The Hidden Table - a gem in the world of London's secret dining venues. Hosted by Le Patron and his two 1950s-styled Mesdames, we entered the secluded building in deepest darkest Shoreditch and were directed towards our sparkling aperitif. Moodily-lit, the space comes complete with a double-bass perched a-top a covered snooker table where we sampled cheese pastries to tickle our taste buds into submission. Next up, we were herded to the dining room, partitioned off by a large projector screen on which flickered a roaring fire. Cosy. The highlight from the multiple courses was the succulent Moroccan lamb tagine washed down by superb fine wines that our guests had provided. Far from being rushed out, our hosts joined us at the end of the meal and we stayed on drinking and chatting until after midnight. It turns out the host has wizard-like connections, so I was delighted to prolong the Harry Potter theme from earlier in the week. Five star treatment and a beautifully unique setting for an adventure in gastronomic wonderment. Book now and behold the magic.
Back at my new parents-in-law's house, I wandered into the living room to find my husband attempting to concentrate his wine-addled brain on the laptop screen in front of him. "Oops," he said as he raised his eyes to meet mine. "I just booked us business class seats back," he paused, "on Singapore Airlines." Anyone who knows me would know instantly that this act is tantamount to the Best. Gesture. Ever. What a fabulous way to end our first week as husband and wife.
Breeze into check-in, get fast-tracked through to the lounge, enjoy sipping wine and listening to soft piano music, board the plane first and select a glass of champagne to celebrate the beginning of your business class experience. It's top dollar, your wallet will scream with pain, but for a special occasion, it's 100% worth it.
Returning to Singapore refreshed after a six hour sleep and some good on-screen action accompanied by delicious snacks, we were suddenly hit with a wall of heavy air. Our hearts sank a little with thoughts of family and friends back in England but we were also glad to get back to the comfort of our own home and bed. Bring on the battle against post-wedding blues...
Next up is catching up with friends here, partying, adjusting to married life and relaxing in the sunshine... Could be worse!
Although I often despair at being stuck in my office cubicle, I console myself with the fact that 'it could be worse'. Here's my take on the top five WORST jobs in Singapore:
5. Shrek at Universal Studios Singapore. Enormous, heavy, furry, bright green costume + 136.8 km north of the equator = Sweat Monster.
4. Pest control worker. With no less than FOUR different types of cockroach here, all loving the heat as much as any fresh-off-the-boat expat, I'd rather die than have to deal with an infestation.
3. Party Police. Policeman on the party circuit between midnight and 4 a.m. have the patience of Hachiko. Often having to return to the same expat households weekend after weekend, and although carrying heavy weapons which could close down any party at the shout of "everybody get down", the police here are extremely placid. We just wish that they didn't turn up so early. However, given the high population density and lack of double-glazing, it is little wonder that annoyed neighbours have their fingers on the keypad in no time at all.
2. Bin man. With the daily temperature hovering around the optimum temperature for common bacteria growth, and a less-than-perfect refuse collection system in some parts of Singapore (sadly, Tiong Bahru is one), the stench of dealing with rotting household waste day after day is less than desirable.
1. Romanian diplomat. The State Coroner recently ruled that Dr. Silviu Ionescu was responsible for the death of one and serious injury of two other Singaporean residents following an alcohol-fueled hit and run debacle. One has to wonder if the case would be different if Romania was a country in which Singapore was remotely interested. Unfortunately for Silviu, it looks as if his status may soon be revoked:
